I have two horribly, terrible jokes that are so bad that they are good.
What did the three legged dog say when he walked into the saloon?
Alright who shot my Paw!!!!
State Trooper pulls over an old lady for speeding......
TROOPER: Maam, do you know why I pulled you over?
Old Lady: No officer I don't
Trooper:You were travelling 85 MPH in a 60 MPH zone, you were speeding. Can I see your Liscence and Registration?
Old Lady: My Liscence - no you can't see it because I lost it three years ago for my multiple DUI charges - I had 6 of them.
Trooper: Well, can I at least see your registration?
Old Lady: No, I don't own this car, it belongs to my next door nieghbor. I stole it this morning from him.
Trooper: Ma'am, your telling me you are driving this car without a liscense or registration without your nieghbor's consent?
Old Lady: Well you could have asked the nieghbor if I asked him but he's hacked up in the trunk..... He wasn't so willing to just turn over the car to me.
Trooper: Ma'am can you wait right here I need to radio this in.(The trooper backs slowly away from the old lady in the car and immediately calls for back-up).
Within minutes five State Police cars pull up and surround the the stolen car. A senior State Trooper walks up to the side of the car with gun drawn and says.....
Senior Officer: Ma'am, are you driving this car without a Liscence?
Old LAdy: No Officer I have my Liscense right here (she hands him her Liscence).
Senior Officer: Am I to believe you are not the owner of this vehicle?
Old Lady: No I own this vehicle, here's the registration if you'd like to look at it. ( She hands him the registration, which is new and valid).
Senior Officer: Would you mind opening up your trunk so I can look into it? You aren't hiding anything in there are you?
Old Lady: No it's empty but you can look. (She pops open the trunk and the officer looks down into it and sure enough nothing is in there).
The Senior Officer scrathes his head and walks back to the driver side window with the original Trooper who pulled her over.....
Senior Officer: Did you tell this Officer that you were driving without a liscence, in a stolen car without insurance or registration who you had stolen from your next day nieghbor who you hacked up and placed in the trunk?
Old Lady: (Looks up at the troopers with a confused look and says) Why no officer but I bet this Trooper said I was Speeding....The Liar