For Honor
Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS
SINCE I"VE BEEN 18
Sunday night. Jose, my father, and myself on my mind. Monogamy is the greatest, and I want it.
(an essay)
Sunday night. Jose, my father, and myself on my mind. Monogamy is the greatest, and I want it.
(an essay)
For Honor said:To be selfish for a post (well, I am always self indulgent in my posts..... )
this whole situation with Jose has..... oddly enough........ really reinforced my views about relationships. Gay or straight, people need to know what to look for, really.
Relationships don't just happen, they are a lot of work. But if you find the right one, then it is profound.
And it..... it is like this..........
I don't need to have my picturesque wonderful relationship and wedding and family, but I really want to find someone who is the best person for me, and that person that I am the best person for.
I can't erotically love someone who is not female, it's just not hapening for me. I can agree that a man is attractive, I guess I am just not really the kind of guy who considers homosexuality. I don;t that is better or worse, I just realize now I am that way.
And for whatever reason, a woman's face is .....
well, I don't know....
I am a person who likes to "look into things", so I guess a woman's face, in my book, is the ultimate. Definitions of beauty may vary, but...... I know at least what I want. When a girl can look at me and I can see into her eyes, into her soul perhaps, and know that she feels the same way about me the way I feel about her...... I think that is what I really want. Something so honest that it simply resonates, and is understood.
I'm not going to find that just by walking up to a random lady, ( I don't expect), but on the deepest level, that is what I hope for.
And in all honesty, I hope Jose can find that same thing with someone. I hope everyone can.
Regardless of what my zodiacs or prophecies may say, I have an afinity for monogamy. I don't really know why or how... But it just seems like the highest form of... goodness or beauty or whatever.
I say this, because in the beginning, I was taken aback by Jose. But in the big picture of life, all things are so fleeting, and few things are timeless. Most things don't really matter, but to me, if one person can find another person that they really love and cherrish and want to be with forever- and that same feeling is returned- then everything else doesn't really matter.
I am still not sure just how I feel about love, but I have felt it's power knock me around, and I do not deny it. I question it, but I don't deny it.