Dong Ha, Vietnam Superthread

[LemonMelon]

So Santa enters your abode on Christmas Eve obscured by an eerie mist

 

[LemonMelon]

Damn, Santa's dealing crystal that makes you nice forever

 

[LemonMelon]

In a novel twist, the bad guys talk like gangsters.

 

[bono_212]

This is an incredibly convoluted plot to get the bad guy to rub out Kringle jr.

 

[LemonMelon]

I want to see Santa Paws 2: The Santa Pups so damn badly.

 

[LemonMelon]

What throws me off is the convoluted chronology. I really can't be certain if Santa Pups follows or precedes Santa Buddies, though it assuredly follows Santa Paws 1, the holiday prequel to Santa Buddies.

 

[Axver]

... my god. Is this what happens when Brokencyde doesn't put out an album for ages and you can't do a Horrible Music Hour at least once in a calendar year?

 

[LemonMelon]

The director of Santa Jr. has forced the issue of the token black man sounding like a token black man so strongly that he has become completely intelligible. Every third word sounds very much like "honky."

 

[LemonMelon]

And yes, Axver. Yes.

I'm doing the best I can with such distinctly average material.

 

[bono_212]

From what I can tell, based on plot synopsis, It's Santa Paws 1 followed by Santa Buddies and then Santa Paws 2.

Because Santa Paws is in the first film, then the santa buddies help santa deliver gifts in santa buddies and then mrs. claus and the santa buddies deliver presents in Santa Paws 2.

 

[bono_212]

... my god. Is this what happens when Brokencyde doesn't put out an album for ages and you can't do a Horrible Music Hour at least once in a calendar year?

For me, this is a yearly tradition.



The gangster elf taking on the gangster bad guy was awesome. "You're on the naughty list, buddy. Do you want one lump...or TWO? *attacks*!"

 

[bono_212]

Ho-Ly Night!

 

[LemonMelon]

From what I can tell, based on plot synopsis, It's Santa Paws 1 followed by Santa Buddies and then Santa Paws 2.

Because Santa Paws is in the first film, then the santa buddies help santa deliver gifts in santa buddies and then mrs. claus and the santa buddies deliver presents in Santa Paws 2.

This made me laugh fucking hard.

Instead of intricate CGI, the producers of this film sprung for bold primary colors to cover up the stage hands moving things around.

 

[LemonMelon]

The black man is doing a stripper dance next to a boombox (which he brought from home, surely) and chucking presents at innocent bystanders.

 

[bono_212]

This made me laugh fucking hard.

Instead of intricate CGI, the producers of this film sprung for bold primary colors to cover up the stage hands moving things around.

I think the world needs an Air Bud family tree so we can see this on paper.

Of course the black cop is now dancing to hip hop Hark the Herald Angels Sing...


Meanwhile, Stan the elf and Santa Jr. have stolen a car.
Stan: Where'd you learn to drive?
Jr.: Internet?
Stan: Ok.

 

[bono_212]

Wait, how did this turn into a "where is the Christmas spirit" movie?

Nothing really has happened in this movie at all, they just keep shoehorning in plot after plot.

 

[LemonMelon]

Wait, how did this turn into a "where is the Christmas spirit" movie?

We're watching the War on Christmas right here.

 

[bono_212]

They introduced this plot at the beginning of the movie and haven't mentioned it for an hour and a half. Nice ribbon.

 

[LemonMelon]

Our surround sound is kicking this commercial's ass. One guy is in an echo chamber with me, and the other guy is mumbling in desert on some other planet.

 

[bono_212]

Clearly someone who knew what he was doing mixed that one.

 

[bono_212]

Oh shit, Kringle Jr. is having an existential crisis because he just found out that no one in the North Pole likes him.

 

[LemonMelon]

Oh shit, Kringle Jr. is having an existential crisis because he just found out that no one in the North Pole likes him.

He just wants to meet a girl.

What sort of relationship that girl will have with him is anyone's guess. A question we'll have answered in the sequel.

 

[bono_212]

Oh, thanks to a conveniently placed crying child, Santa Jr. found the Christmas spirit.

 

[LemonMelon]

Better that than a conveniently placed syringe, as it was looking before.

 

[bono_212]

HOLLY SHlT, THAT ELF HAS A GUN!!!

 

[LemonMelon]

The midget's fake plastic elf ear is like a completely different race from the rest of him.

Hell, maybe a different species

 

[bono_212]

Santa needs to cut back on his cholesterol intake, kids! So choose healthier butter this holiday season, when you bake your cookies.

Also, Santa tweets.

 

[LemonMelon]

Holly shit he DOES have a gun

 

[bono_212]

That was really just a weird moment in the film, honestly. And they didn't address WHY the elf had a gun either. Would the elf have really shot the bad guy? I mean...really?

 

[Axver]

And yes, Axver. Yes.

I'm doing the best I can with such distinctly average material.

I'm a bit worried about Brokencyde. Unless something astonishing happens in the next 1.5 months, this year will be the first year since 2006 during which the Brokies haven't released an album. I thought 2012 was meant to be the year of the apocalypse too!

For me, this is a yearly tradition.

True, but Traviud is taking this to a new HMH-esque level!