Can't start with a happy one :)

[zooropamanda]

Im gonna dive in...

I do have some happier ones, but can't start with those. Wouldn't want you to think Im a sap!! ha ha

Be gentle....


BREATHING WITHOUT LIFE

You're draggin your back through the sun,
Wretched the tide that leaves you undone.
Scaled misfortune is pulling you down,
Hope, the only flower that's left in town.

Fly across the stars to the bittersweet moon,
Open all the bottles to fill up the room.
Cry on the shoulder on your pillow of love,
Escape from the Sunday and all thats above.

Its like faith to a dying man,
Trust to a needy wife,
Self importance to a model,
Like breathing without life.

You're crowding my night with your letterbox rain
and drowning your sorrows in the guiltless pain.
You're taking my skin off with your sorrowful eyes
Wrapping it up in all its trusts and denies.

You shy like the rhythm of a sad song,
Searching for the loathsome place you belong.
You gave into the one who led you astray,
who raised up your hopes then turned you away.

Its like faith to a dying man,
Trust to a needy wife,
Self importance to a model,
Like breathing without life.
~ ~ ~
Copyright Amanda Me!!

 

[scappy]

Wow! I really like that one! "You gave into the one who led you astray" is a very strong line! Good job and keep it up!

------------------
Shelly Caplinger
"Dream out loud"

 

[The Wanderer]

zooropamanda,

I like that line to, and "you're taking my skin off with your sorrowful eyes" . . . let the good times role at POET'S CORNER!!!!

 

[zooropamanda]

its very interesting to hear which lines other people like.
you just sort of write for yourself and when others point out things you think 'hmmmm'.

i love poets corner already