My crush

[gman]

I wanted to know what ppl think of this lil conundrum i find myself in. I have been single for 5 yrs now. I suffer from mental health probs (BPD), but its not obvious. Around 3 months ago, i again started recieving help in the form of a cpn (Community Pshchiatric Nurse). She lit up my life and i looked forward to going to see her. Basically I have the hots for her. We have quite a lot in common it transpires. Anyhow One day she sed, it was getting close to my birthday. I found this strange that she knew this. I told her it was...and that i was gonna be 38. She said I looked a lot younger. Then she said to me....i had good skin. I thought hello...has she been checking me out??? More wishful thinking than anything else!
Anyhow, today.....her profile turns up on a dating site i am on...and that has sent me round the twist. I knew she had kids and thought she would have a partner...but no. I am no longer a patient of hers (for the record).
Do you think the comment about looking young and about my skin was maybe flirting? I like to kid myself that this is fate, but i dont rate myself as anywhere near good looking enuff. Be intrested in what gals think about them comments, whether they would say em in general conversation.

 

[Carek1230]

Who knows if it was flirting or not, but so long as there is no professional patient-caregiver relationship, I'd say go for it especially if that is in fact her on your dating site. Why not? If you don't go for it you might could regret it. Good luck!

 

[VintagePunk]

I hate to burst your bubble, but the comments she made could be just friendly comments regarding you not looking your age, I don't see anything particularly flirtatious about them.

Also, even though you no longer have a professional relationship, there is still the former one hanging there, and I'd be very surprised if she wanted to become romantically involved with a former patient. Presumably, she knows everything about your medical and mental health past - wouldn't that make you feel a little uncomfortable? Not in the sense that it's anything shameful or anything, it's certainly not, but if it were me, I'd want to be able to reveal that to romantic partners on my terms, not have them start off knowing every detail about me. I'm not even sure what the ethics involved in dating former patients would be for her, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was strongly discouraged, if not banned outright.

All that said, I don't think it would hurt for you to send her a message saying "hi, how are you, saw your profile, are you having any luck meeting people?" Just don't be discouraged if she doesn't respond in a romantic way. It may have more to do with the job and her former relationship with you than it does with you. Good luck.


Just googled and found this: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/a...ned-having-sexual-relationships-patients.html

 

[Galeongirl]

well, you're not her patient anymore, and she was nice to you.... Give it a shot I'd say! you never know!

 

[Screwtape2]

Gman, if you like her than go for it. Medical professionals aren't scared or pity people with mental illness. You have nothing to lose. Go for it and good luck.

 

[Screwtape2]

I also want to add that battling and living with mental illness says a lot about your character. If I had kids I would want to know that someone I was seeing had character. Like I said, go for it.

 

[gman]

Its not very easy for me at all. I have sod all self confidence now and havent been near a gal in 5 yrs. But this lass has been in my thoughts a lot and she appeals to me on many different levels. And she wears Levis...thats gotta be a signAs i said earlier, i was hoping the little things were signs she was maybe intrested, as it brightens up my life to think that.ray:
I kinda been hoping the fact i have been faithfull to myself and not done what many single guys in my situation would have done (ie..kept it in my pants!), would hopefully mean ad be rewarded with a gal i really like one day. How ad like that day to be now

 

[gman]

I also want to add that battling and living with mental illness says a lot about your character. If I had kids I would want to know that someone I was seeing had character. Like I said, go for it.

Thanx for that Screwtape. I know no different tho as the illness has been present from roughly age 5. but my view is, I wouldnt change it for anything, as I beleive it has made me the caring, trusting person and generally decent person i am. I like me for it
My nursey has also commented on how nice a guy i am and how much i got going for me
I see lots of attractive gals in everyday life, but the minute i seen her, she just took over my thoughts and then strenghthend since then and this is new to me feeling this way about a gal.
Reality is tho...its probably just pie in the sky!

 

[Thora]

I hate to burst your bubble, but the comments she made could be just friendly comments regarding you not looking your age, I don't see anything particularly flirtatious about them.

Also, even though you no longer have a professional relationship, there is still the former one hanging there, and I'd be very surprised if she wanted to become romantically involved with a former patient. Presumably, she knows everything about your medical and mental health past - wouldn't that make you feel a little uncomfortable? Not in the sense that it's anything shameful or anything, it's certainly not, but if it were me, I'd want to be able to reveal that to romantic partners on my terms, not have them start off knowing every detail about me. I'm not even sure what the ethics involved in dating former patients would be for her, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was strongly discouraged, if not banned outright.

All that said, I don't think it would hurt for you to send her a message saying "hi, how are you, saw your profile, are you having any luck meeting people?" Just don't be discouraged if she doesn't respond in a romantic way. It may have more to do with the job and her former relationship with you than it does with you. Good luck.


Just googled and found this: Doctors and nurses banned from having sexual relationships with former patients | Mail Online

Ditto. That's exactly what I was thinking, but VP's said it so much better than I could have.

Still, good luck on whatever you decide to do!

 

[gman]

Well folks...i messaged her...she replied. As feared, she cant really have anything to do wi me because of her job. Thats assuming she would have been intrested anyway. I really feel down. I dont normally feel like this about a gal i dont know. One good thing about mental illness i suppose...you get used to the kicks in the teeth

 

[martha]

How is that a kick in the teeth? She said she couldn't because of professional reasons. She didn't personally reject you.

 

[gman]

Its a kick in the teeth coz someone i really liked (which doesnt happen normally) cant even chat to me, let alone anything else I would have liked.

 

[A_Wanderer]

There is no magic score card that says you deserve a girl that will make someone come along, waiting in the wings for someone then imbuing the first person that comes along with fate is a mistake and will just leave you creepy and lonely.

 

[Bonochick]

Well folks...i messaged her...she replied. As feared, she cant really have anything to do wi me because of her job. Thats assuming she would have been intrested anyway. I really feel down. I dont normally feel like this about a gal i dont know. One good thing about mental illness i suppose...you get used to the kicks in the teeth

At least you tried and now you know though...as opposed to having done nothing and wondering. Sometimes, you don't get the answer you want, but at least you know.

 

[gman]

My nursey has taken her profile off the site now. Am worried I scared her off good thing is tho, i wont have to see her everytime I am on the site and have my face rubbed in it!
I still cant stop thinking about her. Its worse now that i know she is single and on the lookout. I honestly am not like this over any gal. I got it bad i guess.

 

[Bonochick]

I doubt you scared her off. She might have already been thinking about removing her profile anyway.