i'm having a survivor party, and you're invited. it'sthe party to end ALL parties.

[Zoomerang96]

it'll be at my place. i have a large house outside a small town away from everything.

i have a few couches to sit on, but i wouldn't worry about getting comfortable. we'll get "started" pretty quickly once everyone arrives.

don't worry about the chains, guys, i have plenty to go around.

we'll dub this party "so good, it hurts - and fuck me... it hurts pretty fucking bad".

i have lamp shades and my walls are all either painted black or so covered in monkey shit you won't have to worry about light creating a bright and "open" atmosphere.

i hope you like yesterday's news - cause i've got it layered 6 inches thick on the floor as a result of my ridiculous monkey having bladder and bowel problems. at least this way i don't have to clean anything up... for a while anyway.

i'm thinking we'll have a "survivor" theme. everyone who comes will spend some time in one my incarceration units just for the fun of it. at the moment, i don't want to say too much about what you'll find inside, but i suppose it won't matter. you won't be able to see anything anyway... it's more of a "touch and feel" experience. there'll be lots of feeling.

don't worry, you'll get out but only when i'm "ready".

...honestly, i'm surprised none of you are thinking about my mention of all the chains i'll have on hand. why have you forgotten?

don't ever, ever forget about the chains. it will be your "life line", if you know what i mean.

i think you know well what i mean, don't you.

when's the last time any of you went to a survivor party where the last one standing is in more pain and anguish than the rest who've "passed on"? indeed... there'll be very little pleasure for those who've advanced to the latter stages of my party.

well... i don't want to give away any more exciting details. you'll have to see the rest for yourself.

don't worry about bringing anything, or fretting about what to wear. to be completely honest, none of those things will matter after the party's over anyway.

 

[Doozer61]

i'm in

 

[Canadiens1131]

As long as it's not a lemonparty.

 

[pepokiss]

Dance, baby

 

[daygloeyes2]

Will there be refreshments?

 

[Calluna]

I'll be there with bells on (or should I say, chains). I haven't forgotten about the chains, caisenema.

 

[JessicaAnn]

Will there be refreshments?

There are always plenty of sweet meats at Bear's house.

 

[Kieran McConville]

I think, Zoomerang96, that maybe the activities of our esteemed leaders Harper, Howard and Bush during the recent OPEC, oops I mean APEC conference, are perhaps not the best template for a house party at your place.

I mean, I salute your dedication to torture and stuff, it's just the mess I'm worried about. You seem to have given no thought to the FUCKING MESS!!

Newspaper! Do you know what gallons of blood will do to a bit of newspaper!? You'll be kneedeep in Gore! NOT Al Gore, actual gore.

Actual gore, Caisenema.

Did Frank the Monkey tell you to do this? Did he promise lightning and the smell of burnt rubber if you refused?

He's a liar, albeit a dangerous one.

 

[Angela Harlem]

Are you going to erect (hehe) a giant concrete fence around your party, a'la APEC? And can I get kneecapped too?

I'm in, bear. Well, 'in' as in under a plastic garden furniture table, you know the ones with the matching chairs. Oh yes. The best place to be at a shindig! It IS a shindig, isn't it???

 

[Doozer61]

i wanna massausage