pattip2000
New Yorker
I work at a doctor’s office and we have a massage therapist who uses the office on weekends to see clients. Because it’s mostly our patients who see her, or people they refer, we schedule her appointments for her and call her on Fridays to tell her when she needs to be there. We’ve always known that there is a little bit of a concern about male clients being in the office alone with our therapist, and she has tried to train us on some things to look out for to try and feel out if a guy is going to be creepy. And it’s always been left up to our judgment and if we feel like someone is creepy we totally allowed to tell them that we don’t have any appointments available. We’ve done that in the past when people we thought were questionable. And of course our therapist knows that she can cancel any appointment at any time for any reason and no one would question her one bit.
A couple of weeks ago there was a random guy who called for an appointment. I was the one who took that call, I think sometimes there is a fine line between creepy and an old southern guy. So I thought this guy was just a little off because he sounded older. It ended up that he was creepy and well he didn’t do or try anything during his massage; he certainly made our therapist feel uncomfortable. If any of you are massage therapists, I guess you would know better what that it, but my understanding is that he wigged her out by watching her during the massage and making comments on how pretty she is (she is very pretty). Of course, I feel like the biggest asshole in the world for not being able to tell this guy was a jerk and putting this girl in a dangerous position. So after that incident she has requested that we don’t schedule her anymore new male clients, unless they are people we already know or referred by people we know well, if she is going to be in the office alone. No problem. I was even happy to call the jerk and tell him he can’t come back to our office (I wanted him to know that he did something wrong and give him the number of a male massage therapist we refer to(i'm very nice and helpful that way )).
So this guy called today asking for an appointment, fist I tried to tell him that we aren’t accepting new clients at this time, but he had a gift certificate that someone had given him that he wanted to use. So I don’t feel like it would be fair to him for not let him use it, so I scheduled him for a time tomorrow that I can go in an hang out while he is there, you know make a lot of noise so he knows other people are in the office. And really in talking with this guy, he seems fine. I doubt there is any chance (from talking to him) that he would do anything inappropriate. So it’s not this particular guy that go me upset, it’s the situation. After I got off the phone with him I was thinking about the situation and how fucked up it is. What a fucked up world we live in where we have to think about and plan for shit like this. It’s so not fair. I know, I know, very girl in the world has to deal with stuff like this. We have to think more carefully about where we go and what we do than guys. It just sucks so much.
That’s what did it to me. I was sitting there thinking about how fucked up things are and my coworker came back and saw my face and thought something really horrible had happened. I told her that I was just upset that this even has to be an issue, and I think as a female she understood what I was saying but didn’t get why I’d be so upset/ angry/ frustrated with the situation. There is rage inside of me that things like this have to be dealt with.
I don’t even want to get started on my bosses reaction or non reaction to this. I’ve talked to him about this issue in the past and he just doesn’t GET what I’m trying to say. He really isn’t a jerk, he is a great guy and has a great heart, but it somehow doesn’t translate through his male brain that this is a big deal. If anything were to ever happen he has no idea how much is could effect our therapist and for how long.
I’m sorry to go on such a long rant here, but I left work four and a half hours ago and I’m still worked up about this. It’s a mixture of incredible sadness and so much anger that I can’t shake. Hopefully someone can tell me that I’m not crazy and I’m not over reacting and that this world is incredible fucked up, so I can at least not feel alone in this.
A couple of weeks ago there was a random guy who called for an appointment. I was the one who took that call, I think sometimes there is a fine line between creepy and an old southern guy. So I thought this guy was just a little off because he sounded older. It ended up that he was creepy and well he didn’t do or try anything during his massage; he certainly made our therapist feel uncomfortable. If any of you are massage therapists, I guess you would know better what that it, but my understanding is that he wigged her out by watching her during the massage and making comments on how pretty she is (she is very pretty). Of course, I feel like the biggest asshole in the world for not being able to tell this guy was a jerk and putting this girl in a dangerous position. So after that incident she has requested that we don’t schedule her anymore new male clients, unless they are people we already know or referred by people we know well, if she is going to be in the office alone. No problem. I was even happy to call the jerk and tell him he can’t come back to our office (I wanted him to know that he did something wrong and give him the number of a male massage therapist we refer to(i'm very nice and helpful that way )).
So this guy called today asking for an appointment, fist I tried to tell him that we aren’t accepting new clients at this time, but he had a gift certificate that someone had given him that he wanted to use. So I don’t feel like it would be fair to him for not let him use it, so I scheduled him for a time tomorrow that I can go in an hang out while he is there, you know make a lot of noise so he knows other people are in the office. And really in talking with this guy, he seems fine. I doubt there is any chance (from talking to him) that he would do anything inappropriate. So it’s not this particular guy that go me upset, it’s the situation. After I got off the phone with him I was thinking about the situation and how fucked up it is. What a fucked up world we live in where we have to think about and plan for shit like this. It’s so not fair. I know, I know, very girl in the world has to deal with stuff like this. We have to think more carefully about where we go and what we do than guys. It just sucks so much.
That’s what did it to me. I was sitting there thinking about how fucked up things are and my coworker came back and saw my face and thought something really horrible had happened. I told her that I was just upset that this even has to be an issue, and I think as a female she understood what I was saying but didn’t get why I’d be so upset/ angry/ frustrated with the situation. There is rage inside of me that things like this have to be dealt with.
I don’t even want to get started on my bosses reaction or non reaction to this. I’ve talked to him about this issue in the past and he just doesn’t GET what I’m trying to say. He really isn’t a jerk, he is a great guy and has a great heart, but it somehow doesn’t translate through his male brain that this is a big deal. If anything were to ever happen he has no idea how much is could effect our therapist and for how long.
I’m sorry to go on such a long rant here, but I left work four and a half hours ago and I’m still worked up about this. It’s a mixture of incredible sadness and so much anger that I can’t shake. Hopefully someone can tell me that I’m not crazy and I’m not over reacting and that this world is incredible fucked up, so I can at least not feel alone in this.
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