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Old 12-05-2006, 03:08 PM   #321
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Zootelesque

Carl (from Aqua Teen Hunger Force)

- New Jersey.

Carl: Hey there, Zoots. So I hear your making some mixed album.

Zoots: Well, yeah. I wanted to collect some of the real good rock songs -

Carl: Rock songs? I don't see no Foreigner on that list.

Zoots: Well, I was going for more of the -

Carl: Journey? I don't see no Journey neither.

Zoots: Right, but that's not -

Carl: It just seems to me like you, you know, don't really get the whole Rock thing. I mean, you're from Jersey. It should be like second nature to you. I mean, Bon Jovi is all well and good, but come on? No REO Speedwagon? Chicago?

Zoots: Well, like I was say-

Carl: MSG, 81. Foreigner ripped that place up. That was Rock. This, this Motley Crue? What do they know about rock?

Zoots: Hey, Carl. "Girls, Girls, Girls"? That's rock.

Carl: "Girls, Girls, Girls?" Sounds like a Tuesday night for Lou Gramm. That guy knew how to rock. Cinderella? Europe? Hey, I mean, you're a nice guy and all, but I wanna hear some rock, and you're giving me....what are you giving me? I don't even know what this is.

Zoots: Dokken? Maiden?

Carl: Hey you know what, those guys Can Fight the Feeling. Real rock clearly states you "Can't Fight That Feeling." Least, not anymore. That's rock.

Zoots: Van Halen! Come on, Carl. Admit it, when they rocked, their sound was hot.

Carl: Real rock is "Cold As Ice." Nice try there Zootely.

Zoots: I can't believe this.

Carl: Wrong. Real rock dictate number 7: "Don't Stop Believing." Next.

Zoots: Knock it off.

Carl: Nope. I'm "Gonna Keep On Lovin You". Might be the only way to teach you how to rock.

Zoots: Fine. You win. I'm outta here.

Carl: Hey, "Don't Go Away Man, Just Go Away."

Zoots: Yes, I a - HEY - That's Motley Crue!

Carl: What? No...no it aint.

Zoots: Yes it. Sing it with me Carl, "Girl, don't go away mad, girl just go away." Come on Carl! You know you know it!

Carl: What? Motley Who? No, no way. That's uh, that's Loverboy. Yeah.

Zoots: No it's not Carl. You tried to out rock me by quoting the Crue! HAHA. I knew it!

Carl: Nah, nah. Loverboy. That's a line from "Working for the Weekend." Yeah.

Zoots: No, it's not. You quoted Motley Crue.

Carl. You're Crazy.

Zoots: Guns N Roses.

Carl: No. No. You got it all wrong. It's all in fun. You know, "Nothing but a Good Time."

Zoots: Poison.

Carl: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME! I CAN'T STOP! How did you get in my head? I didn't even see you "Lay Your Hands On Me!"

Zoots: Bon Jovi.

Carl: PLEASE, MAKE IT STOP! "I Just Can't Enough.!"

Zoots: Depeche Mode.

Carl: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Zoots: HAHA. Be gone Carl, back to your Cold as Ice Rock Paradise. Mayhaps one day you will learn the true way of ROCK. As it stands now, you are but a learner, and I am the Master.

Carl: Only the Master of Puppets, Zoots. NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Zoots: HAHA. I banquish the. Let this serve as your "Final Countdown", Carl. 3 - 2 - 1. ROCK!

And with that Carl was banquishd to the fourth rung of hell, where he sits with Eddie Money and wonders where it all went wrong.
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Old 12-05-2006, 03:21 PM   #322
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Me thinks Carl should hang out w/ Jack Black to learn about rocking.
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Old 12-05-2006, 05:18 PM   #323
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Jack Black totally does rock. Good call. That Tenacious D movie had me rolling.
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Old 12-05-2006, 07:29 PM   #324
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good one UberBeaver

And Jack Black is a Yes fan.

yours is no disgrace
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Old 12-05-2006, 10:52 PM   #325
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well done!



Beav, this is BAW, btw ------> in case you didn't recognize me.
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Old 12-06-2006, 11:15 AM   #326
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bono's American Wife
well done!



Beav, this is BAW, btw ------> in case you didn't recognize me.
Oh. Thanks for the follow up. I was just about to go off on the cake (is that a cake in the picture?) eating, clapping lunatic in my topic. But then I saw it was you. Cool. That was close.
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Old 12-06-2006, 12:51 PM   #327
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How have I missed this thread? Great stuff
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Old 12-06-2006, 02:47 PM   #328
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More More More !!

The crowd chants: More More More

Louder, I can't hear you !!

More More More !
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Old 12-06-2006, 05:12 PM   #329
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Yeah, what Numb said...MORE! I didn't get an archnemesis yet
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Old 12-06-2006, 09:44 PM   #330
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Yea! I brought the thread back to life... i've been waiting patiently, like a good girl.

If you cant come up with a short story could you pretty please come up with a name for me??

Thank you.

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Old 12-06-2006, 10:09 PM   #331
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Sorry for all those without archnemesisesis. Sometimes I just got nothing. Poor TripThruYourWires has been on the list since like April or something. And Zootelesque too, and I finally came up with something today. And sometimes I have a name (Bono's American Wife is set to battle Bono's American Divorce Lawyer) but when I start the story, it sucks.

I haven't forgotten, it's just that I can't force the Muse. Know what I mean?
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Old 12-06-2006, 10:19 PM   #332
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TripThruUreWires (female)
Namkur (male)
Mr Brau (male)
MacHat (female)
LemonMacPhisto (male)
RedRocksU2 (male)
KatieBu21 (female)
Onebloodonelife (female)
YBORCITYOBL
COBL_04
JanuaryStar
Night_And_Day66
Bono's American Wife
RavenBlue
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Old 12-06-2006, 10:25 PM   #333
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Just noticed mine. That was great, Beav!
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Old 12-06-2006, 11:14 PM   #334
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Wow...that is amazing...I visualize Kevin a LOT...
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Old 12-07-2006, 12:10 AM   #335
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Quote:
Originally posted by UberBeaver
TripThruUreWires (female)
Namkur (male)
Mr Brau (male)
MacHat (female)
LemonMacPhisto (male)
RedRocksU2 (male)
KatieBu21 (female)
Onebloodonelife (female)
YBORCITYOBL
COBL_04
JanuaryStar
Night_And_Day66
Bono's American Wife
RavenBlue
Just so you know U.B...im all female.
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Old 12-07-2006, 02:24 AM   #336
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Quote:
Originally posted by UberBeaver
U2SavesTheWorld

The Justice League


Batman: When did we turn into an after school program for special needs kids? Jesus.
Jesus: I got nothing, Bruce. Sorry.
I feel I shouldn't but...
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Old 12-07-2006, 01:05 PM   #337
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This is a great thread. I'm female BTW. See if you can come up with something besides yankees, posada, or arod...
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Old 12-18-2006, 12:08 PM   #338
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Varitek

Theo Epstein

V: Hey, Theo. Welcome back. Where you been?
TE: Detroit - whoa, Capitan, I am diggin that blouse. How much?
V: Oh, I dunno. I got it is a gift. $50, maybe? It's pretty nice. Thanks.
TE: 3 million.
V: What?
TE: For the blouse, 2 years, 4 million. Deal?
V: What? You want to buy my blouse?
TE: 3 years, 8 million. Deal?
V: Yeah. Sure.
TE: Great. Let me put something in writing. Excuse me, I got to make a phone call.....(he dials a #) Hello? Yes, this is Theo Eprstein, General Manager of the Boston Red Sox. Can I speak to ... D'Kimba Moutneyergarheth...sure....thank you....D'Kimba? Hey, Theo Epstein....Listen - 5 years, 20 million...Wait - 6 years - 30 million, eh? .... you drive a hard bargain D'Kimba, I like you. Fine, 8 year, 72 million. Allrighty buddy, looking forward to seeing you in April. Stay fit buddy. (hangs up) YES!!! YES!!! I got em.
V: Who is that?
TE: D'Kimba Moutneyergarheth. He's from Senegal.
V: Senegal? Didn't know they played ball over there.
TE: I got him all set up to cover the left field area.
V: Left? But what about Manny?
TE: What about him?
V: Well, he's out there in left. I don't think he's going to be happy about -
TE: Oh, no no no. D'Kimba doesn't play left field. Come on, walk with me, talk with me. I need a drink. (they go the vendng machine. Theo puts a fifty into the coke machine) Come on? $50! Fine (He puts in another $50) These friggin machines these days, they drive a hard bargain. FINE, FINE, you got it! $200 (he puts in a $100 bill) and presses the "COKE" button.)
V: Uh...yeah. Those are 75 cents.
TE: Listen Cap, it looks like it's 75 cents, but what you're not seeing is it's potential.
V: It's a soda.
TE: No - it's a coke, an American classic. Like baseball and D'Kimba Moutneyergarheth.
V: I thought he was from Senegal.
TE: Yeah, but soon, he'll be like a cola. See?
V: No.
TE: That's why I'm the GM and you're the catcher. When did you become a chick, anyway?
V: It just sorta happened. Anyway, back to the Senegal guy. Where are you going to put Manny?
TE: Manny plays left.
V: You said this D'Kimba guy was going to be in left.
TE: No, I said he'd COVER left.
V: I don't follow.
TE: D'Kimba is a janitor.
V: Oh..wait. What?
TE: Yeah, I was in Detroit last week, some big high rise building they got. I went to take a leak, right, and when I looked down into the urinal, you know what I saw?
V: Uh...I can imagine. Yeah.
TE: No, I saw my face.
V: Sorry?
TE: The urinal was so clean, I could see my face. Now, imagine Fenway with a bathroom full of urinals so clean a fan can come to a game and see his goddamn reflection! GODDAMN, it's beautiful.
V: You just sign a janitor to an 8 year $72 million deal?
TE: Not just a janitor, Senor Capitan, D'Kimba Moutneyergarheth. From Senegal.
V: That is fucking insane.
TE: Hey, listen up San Juan Capitano, this is my club. My call. D'Kimba is going to bring the people to Fenway. We are buildling the organization around him going forward.
V: He cleans BATHROOMS, THEO! What is wrong with you?
TE: Uh...you know....when you put it that way.....heh....it does seem kinda ..... odd.
V: Well, yeah. You ok?
TE: OK. Listen. Don't tell John Henry a thing. I want this to be a surprise.
V: You're still going to do it?
TE: Yeah. I gave my word.
V: Dude, Theo. Come on.
TE: OK, I'll give you 12 million for your silence.
V: THEO!
TE: 15 million, and a better parking spot.
V: Jesus man.
TE: - FINE! 20 million, better parking spot, use of the corporate jacuzzi in the off season.
V:......$22 million and I want a big "C" painted in the parking spot. And I want my face on the yearbook. All this in addition to what you're paying for my blouse.
TE: You drive a hard bargain Captain VeriKirk. Done! This is going to be awesome. YES! I've never been excite to take a leak!
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Old 12-18-2006, 12:12 PM   #339
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OK...hit me up Beav!
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Old 12-18-2006, 12:19 PM   #340
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OMG....please PLEASE give me an archnemesis...I spend way too much time plotting revenge on people that barely deserve it, finally, perhaps, I can turn my attention to someone who deserves it.
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