After 10 Hours, Even Bono Gets A Little Punchy

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gvox

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reprinted without permission from the Tampa Bay Times, Wed Nov 9 2005 (fuck off, Im just emptying my suitcase, aight?? lol)

After 10 Hours, Even Bono Gets A Little Punchy

You'd think Rolling Stone would have left no stone unturned during a recent 10-hour, 22-page interview with Bono, in which the U2 frontman discussed everything from Bob Dylan to Ethiopia, from the Psalms to the 'madness' of Zooropa. Think again. Believe it or not, this "definitive" Q&A barely scratched the polarized surface of Bono's lavender wraparound fly shades. Tbt* has obtained a lost snippet of the transcribed conversation between the rock demigod and RS founder Jann S. Wenner. Here, in honor of U2's Nov. 16 concert at the St. Pete Times Forum, we proudly share that exclusive snippet.

X. THE INTERVIEW

In October 2005, you agreed to sit down for this 10-hour interview.

I did, yeah.

What was that like?

It was transcendent, man. The kind of experience that demands you confront your hopes and fears, that brings you face to face with the forces that brought you to this Earth. Incidentally, I've had to pee for the last six hours.

At what point did you realize, "Wait a minute - this Rolling Stone interview might eat up my entire day?"

Around the time you asked me what role religion played in my childhood. I thought, come on, man, I almost won a Nobel Prize, my head's the size of f------ Jupiter, and you're gonna get me started on the Creator? We'll be here all night! (laughs) That's when I knew I'd better tell the wife to TiVo Rachel Ray.

What's the most ridiculous thing you've said so far?

Let's see ... "The blues are like the Psalms of David." That's pretty f----- up, right there. Also, where I said the Edge sings "like a bunch of beautiful black women." That's classic Bono, mate. Bet you haven't got the bollocks to print that one.

Tell me about the first time you heard Coldplay.

I was on hold with Apple for a conference call with Steve Jobs regarding U2's limited-edition iPod. Two songs in, I hear this soaring, nasal voice baying about skin and bones and yellow stars, or something like that. Jesus, man, it was primal. I got this mental image of a hollow-eyed greyhound scribbling sonnets at Dean & DeLuca.

Are they the next U2?

If they are, you can shank me with a f------ cutlass.

Who is the next U2?

I'm a big fan of that Canadian band, Nickelback. God has a hand in those chops, man, and that's a bloody fact. I think we'll be hearing a lot from the Ying Yang Twins. And Adam Clayton has me into krump dancing.

Who's the next Bono?

This planet's cursed with only one loudmouthed, self-righteous Irish pop star, thank the Holy Mother. (laughs) No, I'm kidding. Kanye West has promise - he writes with the passion of a young Martin Luther, his ego's 10 sizes too big, and he clearly despises George Bush. That's a good head start.

Yeah, anti-Bush. That's what I'm f------ talking about.

'Course, I don't know if a line like, "My psychic told me she have a ass like Serena," would have found its way onto The Joshua Tree. But that's why he's Kanye West, and I'm Bono. And the rest of the world is not.
Click to expand...
 
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The Bush stuff alone makes it obvious it's a joke. The Coldplay and Nickelback stuff are just icing on the funny cake.
 
I'll inclined to think it's made up as well. It's just not the way he usually talks it's too flippant.
 
"That's when I knew I'd better tell the wife to TiVo Rachel Ray."

The "interview" has a line like this, and some of you aren't sure it's a joke?
 
I just thought it was so amazing that for the week U2 was in Florida, pretty much every paper including the little tabloids had something funny, sarcastic, or honestly informative about U2 and/or the concerts, and on a daily basis. And not just the dry pre-packaged review/interview stuff you normally get..I just thought that was pretty cool...
 
Thats got to be fake.

Bono wouldnt alienate his fans by saying he doesnt like Bush. Thats why so many people like him, because politically he doesnt seem to take sides.

but if that IS true, Im a little ticked at him now:yell: :scratch:
 
I'd say he's not worried about alienating fans with any anti-Bush remarks ... he's (rightfully) worried about alienating anyone who can help him with the DATA/ONE/etc. stuff.

And honestly, I can't understand how anyone here could think this wasn't a joke.
 
Yeah I have to wonder, "Adam Clayton has me into krump dancing" ??

That far into the interview, I doubt he'd have to specify which Adam he's referring to.

"Adam has me into krump dancing" okay, maybe, I'd buy that, though what is krump dancing?

Bono has Tivo?!

For someone who says most American TV is junk, not sure he'd be into owning a Tivo.

It is entertaining though.
 
:lmao: The best part of the thread is the people who actually think this is or could possibly be real. :lmao:
 
I thought it was real at first, but then I started getting suspicious. I wondered why this particular snippet had such a higher concentration of swearing than the whole real interview.
 
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