St Mary’s Butts, Reading, England Superthread

[LemonMelon]

This old white woman does not approve of Hispanic women. The movie is not set in 1945.

 

[bono_212]

I don't think I can even describe this movie. Dear lord.

This movies already using every holiday trope, too, I mean, outside of the obvious karate bounty hunter thing. That's new.

 

[bono_212]

Oh shit, her handler is out of prison! He's coming for you, woman.

 

[LemonMelon]

There's a wreath on a door to signify that it is Christmas.

 

[LemonMelon]

DID YA FLIP YA DADDY AGAIN? AHAHAHA

Her parents are white Bostonians.

 

[bono_212]

Her parents are white biker bounty hunters from the Bronx.

 

[bono_212]

Oh man they have bounty hunter badges. They're suiting up.

 

[LemonMelon]

A badge that says bounty hunter. Wonder what costume shop they got that out of.

 

[bono_212]

Correction. They're from Jersey. This is a jersey shore bounty hunter Christmas jamboree.

 

[LemonMelon]

The score for this movie sounds like it came from a CD-R with "movie music" written on it.

 

[kiwilad]

This is entertaining

 

[Axver]

Oh boy I'd all but forgotten this tradition!

 

[LemonMelon]

Santa just chloroformed a guy in front of 100 people and no one noticed.

 

[LemonMelon]

So many people running in heels and getting nowhere.

 

[LemonMelon]

WHAT THE FRONT DOOR IS THAT ALL ABOAT

-someone's idea of how people talk in Jersey

 

[bono_212]

They tried to covertly take out three body guards for this woman in the middle of the mall and their plan involved throwing someone off a ledge into the Santa Claus Christmas present display. These guys are the definition of covert.

 

[bono_212]

The "smoking-hot ex-boyfriend"

Still of Mike 'The Miz' Mizanin and Francia Raisa in Christmas Bounty (2013)
http://imdb.com/media/rm2773078016/tt2486490/

 

[LemonMelon]

>hands a guy in a suit a box with a blinking light on it

>"it went well"

>"good"

/scene

Minimalist storytelling. Hemingway would be proud.

 

[bono_212]

Oh man the bad guy is hiding in a warehouse and menacingly eating lobster. He's classy AND gives no fucks.

 

[LemonMelon]

A stuffed bear just blocked a bullet

 

[bono_212]

Oh! Nice use of foreshadowing, I'll give credit where it's due, the boyfriend showed her an app they could use to see where each other are and then used it to surprise his girlfriend at the warehouse where she was currently involved in a shootout.

Because apparently he didn't find it strange his GPS took him to a warehouse and just walked in with the giant ass bear he bought her shouting, 'honey I'm home!"

 

[LemonMelon]

>wanders into battle

HONEY I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT AN APP I FOUND

 

[LemonMelon]

She's more than just a bounty hunter. Allegedly.

 

[bono_212]

Her dark secret shes keeping from her boyfriend: her family are bounty hunters. SCANDAL!

 

[LemonMelon]

The dad won't wear sleeves. Clearly a real bounty hunter wrote this movie.

 

[bono_212]

Act fancy!

*hands wife a beer*, "m'lady" *sips beer with pinky raised *

 

[LemonMelon]

Her dark secret shes keeping from her boyfriend: her family are bounty hunters. SCANDAL!

And that this Hispanic girl's parents are white.

 

[LemonMelon]

I was thinking this movie wasn't especially festive, but then they zoomed in on a snow globe that says Christmas on it.

 

[bono_212]

I feel like Christmas was actually a couple days ago. Is this ACTUALLY a Christmas movie?

 

[Axver]

WHAT THE FRONT DOOR IS THAT ALL ABOAT

-someone's idea of how people talk in Jersey

Surely this should be a bad parody of Canadians.