Ohai, New Zealand Superthread

[Axver]

So far, we've visited:

1. Pop Survivor Round One
2. Australia Discotheque style
3. EBTTRT
4. IAMJ
5. TCATT
6. POTDB
7. EYKIW/Liechtenstein
8. AIWIU2
9. Australia
10. Sheikh Djibouti
11. Te Urewera National Park
12. Inaccessible Island
13. Lodgepole, Nebraska
14. Bangaluru, which was Bangin'
15. Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu
16. Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre and Michelin
17. Ouagadougou
18. Dominican Republic
19. Longyearbyen, Spitsbergen
20. Fernando de Noronha
21. Kyzyl, aka Fuck Vowels
22. Torquay, aka Fawlty Towers
23. Pay the Bill, Wyoming
24. Fenway Park
25. Pridnestrovian Moldavian Republic
26. Bumberry Muffins, NSW
27. Vrbno pod Pradědem
28. Unalaska, Alaska
29. Sexy Peak, Idaho
30. Fucking, Austria
31. Wittenoom, Western Australia
32. Hell, Michigan
33. Centralia, Pennsylvania
34. Anus, France
35. Vagina, Krasnoyarsk Krai, Russia
36. Wetwang, England
37. Cunter, Switzerland
38. Bastard Township, Ontario
39. Useless Loop, Western Australia
40. Tea, South Dakota
41. Giggleswick, England
42. Whakapapa (pronounced "Fuck a Papa"), New Zealand, aka Incest
43. Axver's perving in Jen's Room, Lamethreadlocation, Geelong
44. Twatt, Shetland
45. Fingringhoe, Essex
46. Blowhard, Victoria
47. Orange Free State, South Africa
48. Middle Intercourse Island
49. Disneyland, USA
50. Saint-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!, Quebec
51. This Baby's Mustache, America
52. Boring Lava Field, Oregon
53. Ian's a Morón Air Base, Spain
54. Comet 3D/Biela (lost)
55. Dildo vs bug pinus, Newfoundland
56. Haiku Valley, Hawaii
57. Hole of Horcum, England
58. Cumbum, Tamil Nadu, India
59. Hell For Certain, Kentucky
60. Devil's Dyke, Sussex, England
61. Koolyanobbing, Western Australia
62. Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts
63. Three Cocks and the Truth, Wales
64. Saddam Hussein Town, Sri Lanka
65. Tittybong, Victoria, Australia
66. Humptulips, Washington
67. Sweet, Tits!, South Carolina
68. End of Earth, Michigan
69. Big Bone Lick State Park, Kentucky
70. Kholat Syakhl, Russia
71. Adelaide, South Australia
72. Dumb Hope, Northumberland, UK
73. Let's Bumpass, Virginia
74. Bogan Gate, New South Wales
75. The Mullet, Ireland
76. Upperthong, West Yorkshire
77. Sexbierum, Holland
78. Pussy, France
79. Postwhorehouse Meadow
80. Brilliant, Alabama
81. Hooker, Oklahoma
82. Knob Lick, Missouri
83. Fresh Kills, Staten Island
84. Swastika, Ontario
85. Paw Paw, West Vagina
86. Tutaekuri ("dogshit") River, New Zealand
87. Axver Will Post Here While Losing His Virginity, Utah
88. Alphabet City, New York
89. Kumamoto ("fire cunt" in Swahili), Japan
90. Llanfairynghornwy, Anglesey, Wales
91. Geebung, Queensland
92. Knockemstiff, Ohio
93. Vazza's Bar, Montenegro
94. Rough and Ready, California
95. Uranium City, Saskatchewan
96. Axver is an Iron Knob, South Australia
97. Howlong, Howlong Must We Sing This Song, New South Wales
98. Penistone, South Yorkshire
99. Cumby, Texas
100. Chass rules over the Gay and Lesbian Kingdom of the Coral Sea Islands
101. Vaduz, Liechtenstein and its gullible idiots
102. Go Have a Wank, Bavaria
103. Go sit in the Hooker Corner, Indiana
104. Brest Railway Museum, Belarus
105. Craggy Island, Ireland
106. Rooty Hill Holiday Inn, New South Wales
107. Westward Ho!, Devon, England
108. We Loveladies, New Jersey
109. Desert Island VII
110. Adiós, Spain
111. Smackover, Arkansas
112. Shag Point, New Zealand
113. Mollie's Nipple, Utah
114. Shitlington Crags, Northumberland
115. Pity Me, County Durham
116. Why Arizona?
117. Die, Drôme
118. You're a Bitche, France
119. Bird-in-Hand, Pennsylvania
120. Pecker's Point, Newfoundland
121. Fake Nigeria
122. Scull your Beer, Devon
123. Weed, California
124. Cockplay, Scotland
125. Little Snoring, Norfolk
126. Crap, Albania
127. Mount Buggery, Victoria
128. Mount Gay, West Virginia
129. Dickshooter, I'd a ho
130. River Piddle, Dorset
131. Wanglik, Guangdong
132. Conception Junction, Missouri
133. Intercourse, Pennslyvania
134. Wendy-cum-Jolly, Hertfordshire
135. In Ten Years, Larry Mullen Will Be A Bald Knob, Arkansas
136. Woodenbong, New South Wales
137. 8 Hiscock Road, Melbourne
138. Shades of Death Road, New Jersey
139. Cinnaminson loves Jen, New Jersey
140. Serena is a Postwhore, Louisiana
141. You're a Slutsk, Belarus
142. Crapaud, Prince Edward Island
143. I Fondled Little George's Coc'nuts, Pitcairn Island
144. Bland Place, Otara, Auckland
145. Boggus Motor Company, Harlingen, Texas
146. Zzyzx, California, aka "Buy a Vowel!"
147. Blubberhouses, Yorkshire
148. Wine's better than a Rum Jungle, Northern Territory
149. Broomrape Lane, Lake Havasu City, Arizona
150. None Tree Hill, Auckland
151. Oh no a Monster, The Netherlands
152. Kilbrittain, Ireland
153. Mulderkill River, Delaware (X-Files country?)
154. Booze, Norf Yocksha
155. Yap, Federated States of Micronesia

O hai! We've been Yapping for so long that the tides have carried us south from Micronesia to a little town in the far south of New Zealand. Ohai is a coal mining village home to approximately 400 people, and it is the terminus of one of the few rural branch lines left in New Zealand. It is served by a coal train a day. On the transport theme, it is also the terminus of State Highway 96 - a state highway in New Zealand and a rural fucking back road anywhere else in the western world. Due to Ohai's small size, its school has recently closed and its students have been sent to say "o hai!" to the students at a school in nearby Nightcaps.

Ohai - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[Serena Vox]

:fuckyeah:

 

[Axver]

Who Posted?
Total Posts: 1,006
User Name Posts
Axver 211
bono_man2002 139
bono_212 113
coolian2 105
The Sad Punk 77
DreamOutLoud13 73
Serena Vox 56
KhanadaRhodes 47
GirlsAloudFan 33
Alisaura 31
RegularBonoFan 31
Angela Harlem 18
Irishteen 12
gluey 10
RavenBlue 10
phanan 8
LemonMacPhisto 8
adrball 7
mysterious_jen 6
major_panic 6
COBL_04 3
cinnaminson 1
U2MaNaIcWeIdO 1

 

[Alisaura]

I have my Australian citizenship book. i've been studying.

Snap quiz! What's the Don's batting average?

 

[The Sad Punk]

 

[Serena Vox]

Carry-over!

It's actually not that great. But I'm here! And I guess ax and daniel and danny and jen and cin and such too, but mainly me!

Comparing to America? I'd think it's worlds better!

 

[Alisaura]

Not bad for a last minute dash from me.


This thread title cracks me up.

 

[Serena Vox]

Didn't notice the cat at first!
(Dial up.)

 

[Reggo]

Snap quiz! What's the Don's batting average?

...who?

 

[Axver]

I must admit, it took ages for it to dawn on me just why people not from New Zealand would find Ohai funny. Same goes for Te Puke. Since I always read it in my head as something close to "pook-ee", I never even thought "hey, that looks like another word for vomit!" When I first saw it on a funny place names list, I thought "what the fuck's funny about that? It ... sort of sounds like puku [Maori for stomach]? OH, PUKE."

 

[Alisaura]

I'm sure that much-maligned state highway in Ohai would be a dirty great motorway in rural England. You should see some of the miserable twisty single-lane tracks that get away with being major roads over there!

 

[Axver]

...who?

Far and away the most successful sportsman in history.

 

[Alisaura]

...who?

Oh dear. You're lucky John Howard's not PM any more, he'd have you blacklisted for that! And possibly suspected of terrorism.

Don Bradman was apparently Australia's most famous/greatest cricket player. I believe his average was 99.9 or something like that. Runs per something-or-other. I think he died a few years ago?

*not a cricket fan*

 

[Axver]

I'm sure that much-maligned state highway in Ohai would be a dirty great motorway in rural England. You should see some of the miserable twisty single-lane tracks that get away with being major roads over there!

You should see State Highway ... I think 43, in northern Taranaki. I know for a fact that within the last decade parts of it were still a dirt road. I heard that these parts were being sealed, though, so I'm not sure if any unsealed sections are left any more.

 

[Axver]

Oh dear. You're lucky John Howard's not PM any more, he'd have you blacklisted for that! And possibly suspected of terrorism.

Don Bradman was apparently Australia's most famous/greatest cricket player. I believe his average was 99.9 or something like that. Runs per something-or-other. I think he died a few years ago?

*not a cricket fan*

... Ali, Ali, Ali.

Bradman's batting average was 99.96. If he'd scored just four runs in his final innings, it would have been a perfect 100. You should know 99.96 because the PO Box address of the ABC in every capital city is 9996 - not a coincidence!

To put this in perspective, the second highest batting average of anybody who's played more than two or three games is something in the realm of 63. As for other sports, nobody else in any sport worldwide has ever achieved stats that can even vaguely be considered on the level of Bradman's 99.96. The man was a FREAK. Name another sportsman; Bradman makes them look shithouse.

(And surely it says something that I, a Kiwi, am willing to talk up Bradman. I'll piss on most Aussie sportsmen, but the Don is a god.)

 

[Alisaura]

You should see State Highway ... I think 43, in northern Taranaki. I know for a fact that within the last decade parts of it were still a dirt road. I heard that these parts were being sealed, though, so I'm not sure if any unsealed sections are left any more.

Arr...

I forget where it was exactly, probably somewhere between the Hume highway and the Calder in Vic, but there was a big chunk of a fairly major road that was gradually being bitumenised. Every time I drove along it, a bit more at each end was sealed... Wonder how long it took for the tar trucks to meet in the middle. There was probably some sort of ribbon-cutting ceremony... or they'd do what tunnel-diggers used to do, and miss each other completely.

 

[Axver]

Mine, too. Or Kiwiland. Every photo of that I've seen makes me

I'd say New Zealand is the place to be, but Melbourne needs more cool people too.

And as much of a traitor as I feel for saying this, I love Melbourne more than any Kiwi city. Though I'd move to country New Zealand in a heartbeat if it were viable for me to do so.

Here's a little-known part of Australia's national anthem:

"For those who've come across the seas, we've boundless plains to share..."

They haven't sung THAT verse since everyone got paranoid about immigrants.

And at my high school, they'd sing the fake Christian-themed "second verse" about "Christ our head and cornerstone" or some such bollocks.

 

[Axver]

Arr...

I forget where it was exactly, probably somewhere between the Hume highway and the Calder in Vic, but there was a big chunk of a fairly major road that was gradually being bitumenised. Every time I drove along it, a bit more at each end was sealed... Wonder how long it took for the tar trucks to meet in the middle. There was probably some sort of ribbon-cutting ceremony... or they'd do what tunnel-diggers used to do, and miss each other completely.

Wow. And then of course there are those dirt "highways" in the Outback that you better not venture onto unless you've got about ten days' worth of water in a trailer behind you ...

 

[Alisaura]

... Ali, Ali, Ali.

Bradman's batting average was 99.96. If he'd scored just four runs in his final innings, it would have been a perfect 100. You should know 99.96 because the PO Box address of the ABC in every capital city is 9996 - not a coincidence!

...

My dad would probably know all that. He's very disparaging about modern cricket and all these one-day tests and trying to make it all fast and interesting.

 

[Axver]

...

My dad would probably know all that. He's very disparaging about modern cricket and all these one-day tests and trying to make it all fast and interesting.

I can see where he's coming from, but I like my cricket and I'll take it in whatever form they're willing to play!

Also, if I'm not grossly mistaken, your father would've been a boy when Bradman was playing. Lucky bastard. I'd give an arm and a leg to be able to witness Bradman playing.

 

[Alisaura]

And at my high school, they'd sing the fake Christian-themed "second verse" about "Christ our head and cornerstone" or some such bollocks.

... what?!



First I'd heard of that one!

 

[Alisaura]

Also, if I'm not grossly mistaken, your father would've been a boy when Bradman was playing. Lucky bastard. I'd give an arm and a leg to be able to witness Bradman playing.

You're probably right... I dunno when Bradman was playing exactly, but my dad was born in 1926. I'll ask him if he ever went to a game where Bradman played...

*awaits barrage of "" faces*


Incidentally, it is NOT CHEAP to turn dirt roads to bitumen. The road behind my parents' place is gravel, and a fairly steep hill (dunno how much that would affect the price)... various residents of said road have asked the council to bitumenise it, and the council basically said the residents would have to pay for it themselves... at $10,000 each, or something frightening like that. (I think that's for the frontage of an acre block.) Needless to say, most of them decided they could live with dusty laundry and washed-out gutters...!

 

[Reggo]

I have no idea what Ali or Axver just said, so I'm going to talk about chickens.

 

[Axver]

... what?!



First I'd heard of that one!

Per Wikipedia:

Some have claimed there is a missing sixth verse.[12] This verse has an overtly Christian overtone. The first performance in recent memory of this verse was during the Global March for Jesus in 1998.[12] The most recent known performance of the verse was at a special service at St. Andrew's Cathedral, Sydney, on 10 July 2005 with Prime Minister John Howard present. However the verse is in fact not McCormick's. It is not known who the true author of the verse is, or when it was first penned and used.

My school would print it as the second verse after the one we all know and sing it on Graduation Night. It goes like this:

With Christ our head and cornerstone,
We'll build our Nation's might.
Whose way and truth and light alone
Can guide our path aright.
Our lives, a sacrifice of love
Reflect our Master's care.
With faces turned to heaven above
Advance Australia fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing
Advance Australia fair!

 

[Serena Vox]

I have no idea what Ali or Axver just said, so I'm going to talk about chickens.

I kinda died for a bit, I was reading around Wiki out of total boredom.

 

[Alisaura]

puck-kark!

um, wow. It's late. And I haven't packed.

 

[Axver]

... I'm an idiot. Don Bradman's average was 99.94, not 99.96, and the ABC's PO Box similarly is 9994.

I blame my father! He was convinced for years that Bradman's average was 99.96 and I spent an age attempting - ultimately successfully - to prove to him it was 99.94. Now the bastard's gone and poisoned my memory!

 

[GirlsAloudFan]

Oh hi!

O hai!

o high. This thread location kicks ass.

I've been up for hours working on my Desert Island list. It's actually proving to be kind of stressful but also a hell of a lot of fun. Have you guys already finished your lists?

 

[Serena Vox]

... I'm an idiot. Don Bradman's average was 99.94, not 99.96, and the ABC's PO Box similarly is 9994.

I blame my father! He was convinced for years that Bradman's average was 99.96 and I spent an age attempting - ultimately successfully - to prove to him it was 99.94. Now the bastard's gone and poisoned my memory!

Isn't that how it always works?

 

[Alisaura]

... I'm an idiot. Don Bradman's average was 99.94, not 99.96, and the ABC's PO Box similarly is 9994.

I blame my father! He was convinced for years that Bradman's average was 99.96 and I spent an age attempting - ultimately successfully - to prove to him it was 99.94. Now the bastard's gone and poisoned my memory!

Parents are good at that.

My dad told me once, as a joke, that those little twinges you get in your leg or whatever are caused by random cosmic rays that just happen to intersect your leg at that moment.
I was an impressionable child. I believed it and was convincing other people that this was true until one day in year 12 (aged 17), I realised it was utter BS.