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Old 07-21-2005, 06:21 AM   #41
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Originally posted by zwervers2

that is his stash on the allows him hours of "love"making..
Much better than a ghost.....I suppose

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Old 07-21-2005, 06:28 AM   #42
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Originally posted by U2Man

Much better than a ghost.....I suppose
you can say that again...

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Old 07-21-2005, 07:40 AM   #43
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Part 4

Now I'm dashin home
Doin 85
Swervin lane to lane
Wit fire in my eyes
I got a million thoughts
Runnin through my mind
I'm thinkin about what imma do and who I'm gonna do it to when I get home
How could I have been so blind
And then I look in my rear view
I cannot believe this
(Whoo whoo whoo)
Damn, here comes a police man
He drove right up on me and flashed his light
Then I pulled over without thinkin twice
He hopped out the car and walked over to me
And said license and registration please
I looked up at him and said
Officer, is there somethin wrong
He said no, except you were were doin 85 in a 60 mile zone
Then I said officer
Let me explain please
Ya see the truth of the matter is
Is that I have an emergency
He said no excuses
And no exception
I said this is some he gave me the ticket
Said have a nice day and walked away
I said yeah right and drove away
Then I turned my radio on
And did 70 all the way home
I pulled up in the driveway
Hopped out and slammed the car door
Then go in through the back
Bust up in the house and she screamin
Whats all that for
Then I'm like woman I called this house
And a man picked up my phone
Then she said calm down
Did you forget
My brother Twan came home
And thats all I could say was oh
Wit a stupid look on my face
Said I forgot he came home today
And she said thats okay
Because honey I understand
She said you dont have to explain
Then I took her by the hand
I kissed her and then we went to the room
Then I turned some music on
Apologized one more time
Then went down and start gettin it on
And she started bitin her lip
Grabbing me and makin noise
Now we makin love and she's my ear whisperin
It's all yours
I said I love you
And she said I love ya, too
Then a tear fell up out my eye
Then I called her my sunshine
And then she looked at me
And said baby go deeper please
And thats when I start goin crazy
Like I was tryin to give her a baby
The room feel like its spinnin
We keep turnin and turnin
As if we were in a whirlwind
The way our toes are curlin
The next thing ya know, she starts goin real wild
And starts screamin my name
Then I said baby, we must slow down
Before I bust a vessel in my brain
And she said please no dont stop
And I said I caught a cramp
And she said please keep on goin
I said my leg is about to crack
Then she cries out
Oh my goodness, I'm about to climax
And I said cool
Just let go of my leg
She says you're the perfect lover
I said I cant go no futher
Then I flip back the cover
Oh my God, a rubber...
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Old 07-21-2005, 07:45 AM   #44
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Part 5

And now I’m like
well, well, well, what the fuck is this
a condom in my bed
you better start talking bitch
fore I take a match and burn this motherfucker down
I said you better start talking and start talking right Goddamn now
then she said baby I’m so speechless
then I said my baby you gonna be breathless
if you don’t start talking quick
woman I’m gonna have a fit
you don’t know what you fucking with
girl you better cut the bull shit
now its obvious somebody has been all up in my home
in my bed plus I smell cigarettes
now I’m sniffing and looking around
suspicious like someone’s here
then I looked in her eyes and in her eyes there was so much fear
pull out my gun and says is he still here
she shook her head and said no
I’m checking behind every door
she cried out he left right after you called

I said what the fuck was you thinking
thought that I wouldn’t find this out
then I said you must be crazy or
on crack to have somebody up in my motherfucking house
she hopped up and said that’s enough
she said I can’t take no more
and then she said you’ve made your point
but now it’s time to even the score
she said I know all about last night
and where you went when you left the club
said that’s right nigger I was there
with this guy in the back of the club
I said I thought you was with your girls
she said I thought you was with you guys
she said you was at that bitches house
and don’t you even try to act surprised
I said babe she said shut up
don’t you say a word
it ain’t nothing you can say
that I ain’t already heard
then I said woman don’t you try to turn it all around
cause the fact still remains that someone else was in my house
then she said youre right about that
something did go down
but I don’t have to turn it around
cause what goes around comes back around
I’m moving a little closer to her
she’s tripping over the furniture
she said wait precious let me explain
I said no need to just give me his name
and then she says uh un
I say uh what
she says please sit down in the chair
and I say no I’m standing up
and then she cries out I’m so scare to tell
you because of what you might do
and I scream now look girl you better give me this man’s name
and I’m not playing with you
she says ok wipes her nose then asks me about a girl name tina
I thought to myself says it sounds familiar
then said that’ll I probably know her if I seen her
and then I said any way girl what the hell has that got to do
with this man
she said you know my girl roxanne
I said who the hell is roxanne
then she says roxanne’s a friend of mine
who knows this guy name Chuck
Chuck’s cool with this guy named Rufus
and I’m sitting there like what the fuck
then she says Rufus wife Cathy
we both went to high school
she introduced me to the policeman that stopped you

*** THE END ***
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Old 07-21-2005, 07:46 AM   #45
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Between R. Kelly and Snoop Dogg I do not know who to pick...

These guys are so creative.
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Old 07-21-2005, 11:14 AM   #46
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Wow, so thanks for posting all five 'installments'--glad I could just read them here and be spared of having to listen to them later. I think what I find ridiculous about the whole thing is the fact that this is like 'Contagious' only a longer version and with more people involved. R. Kelly is gonna milk that cow til the end of time. I guess 'Contagious' is technically an Isley Brothers song, but still... Somebody needs to find something new to sing about.

Some of the lyrics from 'Contagious':

Ron Isley: What the hell is going on between the sheets in my home?
Woman: Baby, wait, let me explain before you start to point your cane.
Ron Isley: Girl I'm 'bout to have a fit!
R. Kelly: Ooh, it's about to be some shit! How did I get into this? Shoulda never came home with this bitch.
Ron Isley: You low-down dirty woman, back to where you came from!
Woman: But baby wait...
Ron Isley: But wait my ass! Hit the streets, your ass is grass!
R. Kelly: Now Mr. Biggs, before you're done...
Ron Isley: Wait, how you know my name son?
Woman: Honey, wait, I was gonna tell ya...
Ron Isley: Ooh, this cat looks real familiar. Now don't I know you from somewhere a long time ago? (Reference to R. Kelly's 'Down Low' song and video)
R. Kelly: No, no, I don't think so.
Ron Isley: Yeah, yeah, I feel I know you brother very well...
R. Kelly: No, no, you're mistaking me for somebody else.
Woman: Frank...
Ron Isley: Shut up! Can't you see two men are talking?
Woman: But...
Ron Isley: But I told your ass to get to walkin'. Now I think y'all better leave this place, 'cause I'm about to catch a case.
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Old 07-21-2005, 12:50 PM   #47
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I saw all of them and laughed my ass off.
If you havent seen them yet, watch them.
It couldn't be funnier if Dave Chappelle had wrote it.

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Old 08-02-2005, 01:13 PM   #48
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Re: Is new R. Kelly videos a joke?

Originally posted by #1bonofan

Does anyone else out there think the man has lost his mind?
Apparently, his videos are NOT the best out there !!
Although, he MUST BE doing something right in the terms of records !! His album 'TP.3 Reloaded' is AGAIN in the No. 1 spot on Billboard's Top 40 Albums Chart for the third week in a row !!
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Old 08-02-2005, 01:36 PM   #49
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R. Kelly is a joke. I enjoyed his "I Believe I Can Fly" song, when I was 14, but since then I haven't bought anything he's released. His music isn't the kind I listen to, anyway, and his lyrics are so bad that it completely amazes me that anybody would even buy them. And don't even get me started on his current trial.
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Old 08-03-2005, 06:43 PM   #50
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My sister actually called me to warn me that this 'urban opera' was going to be on Mtv2. So I watched it. I laughed. I cried. I laughed some more. I agree that this couldn't have been funnier if Dave Chappelle had written it. Too bad Chappelle's Show is over or they could really have a field day.

I can't believe they actaully rolled credits at the end!

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Old 08-04-2005, 06:48 PM   #51
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Ok, I havent actually seen the video but I figured those of you who have would appreciate this:
"Trapped In The Closet" Cliff Notes
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Old 08-04-2005, 07:23 PM   #52
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R. Kelly...bothers me greatly. Yes.

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Old 08-04-2005, 08:22 PM   #53
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Originally posted by u2popmofo
"Trapped In The Closet" Cliff Notes

Just brilliant.
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Old 08-06-2005, 10:03 AM   #54
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I watched 2 of the videos. As horrible as they are, the videos are like a train wreck, you just can't help but look. I'm watching the 3rd one now.
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Old 08-06-2005, 11:52 AM   #55
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I said, "Why don't I just go out the window?"
"Yes, except for one thing, we on the 5th floor"

Bizzare - 5 songs and 5 videos?

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