Prayers needed... For BonosBaby12

[BonosBaby12]

glad that you had fun last night Shannon, figured you could use a few laughs! have a great vacation and time with Mike this week!

I really could and the laughs were plentiful! lol.

Thank you for the well wishes for my vacation too Feel so relaxed and happy here . Haven't thrown Mike into the river yet either so that's a good sign kidding!

 

[youvedonewhat]

Hi Shannon. Hope you're holdin' out ok...

 

[BonosBaby12]

Hi! I am in fact doing ok thank you This vacation has proven to be just what I needed. Did have a minor setback the other morning. Woke up at about 4am or so with thoughts of my dad. For some reason it hit me right then that I won't be able to share this trip with him. Whenever I would come home from being away he would always want to see pictures and hear how it was.

On a happier note I was up close with 3 deer the other day. Mike and I took a tour and as we passed through the woods there were deer standing there. Made me smile a lot

 

[cruzila]

^

 

[MsPurrl]

You're doing well, Shannon. I totally agree w/Gluey. It takes a good year to get to accept things. I think it's got something to do w/celebrations, get togethers etc. Each special occasion that passes over the course of a year is like another step forward (if this makes any sense).

I'm sure that it'll ease some days and come crashing back on others. You just let it out, girl.

YDW is right: let it out when you need to! Lie on the floor and howl as long as you want (works for me). It's been six years since we lost our mother, and I'm *still* not over it. I still catch myself thinking, "I'll ask Mom; she'll know" or "I can't wait to tell Mom!" So I do tell her.

I just got back from my mother's (Anderson) family's reunion in Virginia. Her sister is still alive, as is one brother (four have passed), and one brother's widow. As long as those very special people are still with us, I hope to make the trip each summer--they are just about as close to her as I can get.

 

[JanuaryStar]

MsPurrl, I don't think people will ever 'get' over something like such a big loss. The pain will get less, but you will never forget.

Shannon, I agree with everybody here, that you're doing well under these circumstances. Losing somebody so close to you makes your heart ache. So cry if you want to, feel sad if you want to, scream if you want to. Nobody is telling you that it's not alright to grieve. I'm sure your dad knows you're thinking of him so strongly

It's good to hear your holiday trip has been so good for you so far. Tell me everything about it when you get back, okay?

 

[Alisaura]

Shannon

 

[dazzledbylight]

Did have a minor setback the other morning. Woke up at about 4am or so with thoughts of my dad. For some reason it hit me right then that I won't be able to share this trip with him. Whenever I would come home from being away he would always want to see pictures and hear how it was.

oh, you "should" -if you can- NOT think of that as a "setback"
it's only been a month plus.

It might feel like one ESPECIALLY - if you are raised ina kind of "stiff upper lip" we don't express BIG Emotions [ Big anger/grief/ even exuberance in some peiople's faimly's i've known]................
you'll probably have some roller-coaster moments, and times when you are having fun, as you have had already.........

for myself i think when my mom dies... she wouldn't want me to
be too sad for TOO long........

so S to you

 

[U2Girl416]

you've been remarkable so far Shannon. having "setbacks" or just times when things hit you, is totally normal and probably healthy too. do whatever you need to to get through this, however long that may be. he knows you're thinking of him

 

[BonosBaby12]

Awwwwww thanks guys for the very sweet words of comfort Appreciate all of you being so incredibly understanding!

I think I am finally getting to the point where I don't feel guilty about having fun. Like with how Dazz's mom would feel my dad would want us to enjoy life again. For awhile too I gave too much of a damn of what other's thought of my grieving process. Kept worrying that some would find me cold hearted that I wasn't always crying or so sad looking. All of you helped me to realize that each person grieves differently.

I found out something that was rather interesting this morning. While talking to my mom I learned that my dad's hair used to be blonde. For the life of me I never knew this! Always figured that I could just attribute my blondeness to my mom's side of the family. Know it sounds kind of silly but I feel I a bit more connected to my dad now . Just like with how Mike gave me his old high school class ring. My dad did the same thing while he was dating my mom. As far as Im aware noone else in my family has done this with their spouses. Yes I do feel quite special to be part of this tradition

 

[dazzledbylight]

nice tradition

glad your guilt is fading......

I'm a born & bred NYC'r , in 80 & 81 I worked on the 73rd flr on the South WTC Tower, I hated them at first as they were being built, but grew to love them.
day 2 or 3 days after the atrocity I was riding a bus in Brooklyn to go pray in a church, get some supplies to the people working down in the pit.
As we rode along I suddenly saw some gorgeous colored windowbox flowers bathed in sunlight, and I gasped [quietly] at how beautiful they looked. They brought me the first joy i had felt since 9-11.
THEN I felt guilty. Then I said to myself you need some joy to help get you through those terrible times.

Grief is a very indivdual process.

 

[Lila64]

 

[WildHoney]

 

[U2Girl416]

 

[Bono Mot]

I found out something that was rather interesting this morning. While talking to my mom I learned that my dad's hair used to be blonde. For the life of me I never knew this! Always figured that I could just attribute my blondeness to my mom's side of the family. Know it sounds kind of silly but I feel I a bit more connected to my dad now . Just like with how Mike gave me his old high school class ring. My dad did the same thing while he was dating my mom. As far as Im aware noone else in my family has done this with their spouses. Yes I do feel quite special to be part of this tradition

I have to confess, I always wondered why my hair always wants to be red, no matter how much I dye it darker, and my mom just turned up some old pictures of my dad...he had an auburn beard and 'stache!!! The things you learn later on make you feel really connected, I think. I never even knew he wore a beard...I was too young to remember. So good for you finding out where your blondness came from!

Oh, and I have my hubby's class ring, my dad's class ring and my fraternal grandmother's. (Which is really cool as we have the same initials.) I don't have any of my mom's rings, though, as she was prone to get in a snit and throw things into the ocean! Temper, temper!

Anyway, it's great you're finding these things out...it's sometimes like a voyage of discovery when you find out just edge-actly what everyone's been hiding! Or forgetting to tell you, as the case may be!

 

[Bono Mot]

P.S. No reason to feel guilty AT ALL. You appreciated the man in his life, and that's really all he wanted, I'm sure. My dad would say, "Stop dwelling, enjoy life! But don't forget the roses need to be pruned in the Fall. "

 

[youvedonewhat]

P.S. No reason to feel guilty AT ALL. You appreciated the man in his life, and that's really all he wanted, I'm sure. My dad would say, "Stop dwelling, enjoy life! But don't forget the roses need to be pruned in the Fall. "

You know Mot, Obviously I didn't know your dad but boy he certainly had a way with words.

 

[BonosBaby12]

You know Mot, Obviously I didn't know your dad but boy he certainly had a way with words.

Sure enough does sound like it

 

[JCOSTER]

 

[BonosBaby12]

Then I said to myself you need some joy to help get you through those terrible times.

That was really beautiful with your description of the flowers. I really have come to believe strongly in signs. To me that was a definitely a sign meant for you

As for the joy that is so incredibly true! Found that when I allowed myself to wallow in grief all of the time that it got me nowhere. However when I started allowing myself to enjoy things again I found that the pain would ease some. Our time is so limited that it's a shame to let it all pass by. Most of all our loved ones would want us happy. Just exactly like what Mot stated with what her dad would be saying. Plus there are traditions to be carried on to keep his memory alive.

Oh and Mot it really is like a discovery! Im just amazed by the things that I overlooked or never bothered myself with before. To me they are like little treasures when I discover that I have more of my dad in me than I ever thought.

In the mail today there was an evenlope from the funeral home. Inside was a memorial with a poem on the front and my father's obitiuary on the back. The poem really fits into what so many of you have been saying lately. Wanted to share it all with you:

When I must leave you for a little while

Please do not grieve and shed wild tears

And hug your sorrow to you through the years

But start our bravely with a gallant smile;

And for my sake and in my name live on and do all things the same,

Feed not your loneliness on empty days,

But fill each waking hour in useful ways,

Reach out your hand in comfort and in cheer

And I in turn will comfort you and hold you near;

And never,ever be afraid to die,

For am I waiting for you in the sky!


Btw JC your big 's are always so sweet Thank you

 

[JCOSTER]

^ Sometimes you don't have to say anything and sometimes just a hug will do the trick.

 

[youvedonewhat]

Hi Shannon. How are you?

 

[Gluey]

Hi Shannon Just checking in to see how you're doing....

 

[BonosBaby12]

Hi guys Im doing fine thank you . Have been feeling very at peace the past couple of days.

Found out sad news this morning though. A friend told me how one of their friend's dad passed away last night. Naturally my thoughts went back to my dad. For a little bit I felt sad then just as fast as it came it went away. Really shocks me with how many have lost their father's this summer.

 

[youvedonewhat]

Hi Shannon. How you doin'?

I guess every time someone passes it'll make you think of your own loss.

On a lighter note how's things?

 

[BonosBaby12]

Hi Shannon. How you doin'?

I guess every time someone passes it'll make you think of your own loss.

On a lighter note how's things?

So sweet of you to see how Im doing,thank you

Another passing really is such a strong reminder. Like last week I made the discovery that a cousin's father had passed just recently. Never knew that he was sick or anything he was only 50.

As for how things are they looking up . My bf Mike is coming to Delaware on the 30th of this month for a few days. We are going to stay at my favorite beach together. Quite excited about that! Haven't been to the beach all summer which is so unlike me. Going there is one of my top favorite things to do in the summer. Also I am planning a weekend trip to NYC next month to see the U2 tribute band UF. Will be going with Cruzila and maybe a couple of other Interferencers.

I am really starting to feel brighter about life again .

 

[youvedonewhat]

So sweet of you to see how Im doing,thank you

Another passing really is such a strong reminder. Like last week I made the discovery that a cousin's father had passed just recently. Never knew that he was sick or anything he was only 50.

As for how things are they looking up . My bf Mike is coming to Delaware on the 30th of this month for a few days. We are going to stay at my favorite beach together. Quite excited about that! Haven't been to the beach all summer which is so unlike me. Going there is one of my top favorite things to do in the summer. Also I am planning a weekend trip to NYC next month to see the U2 tribute band UF. Will be going with Cruzila and maybe a couple of other Interferencers.

I am really starting to feel brighter about life again .

This is so good to hear you speak like this. I guess it must be like a flower opening up after a long cold winter. I admire your strength and that you have started to take those tiny steps to recovery. (If that's the right word to use... ). It'll be nice to chill out on the beach, to see your guy and of course, loose yourself in the music when you go see UF.

We've got a local U2 trib band here. They're called Us4U2. They're not that big although they're still pretty good (even if the singer is somewhat larger then our delicious Bono... ). Still, they play brilliantly and that's what counts. I've seen them 6 times now. They come every 6 months or so so I try to catch them when I can. It's just nice to 'become one' with everyone else isn't it. To let go, sing, have a good time. When I go there I go w/my neice or sister whatever and we just get right into it. I think my hubby would cringe if he saw me but you know, I don't care. I'm with like minded ppl and that's good enough for me..

Hope you have a great summer, Shannon. You deserve one.

 

[BonosBaby12]

Thank you! I feel so happy being able to say it . Oh and in a way the word recovery makes complete sense. Losing someone takes you to hell and back. Found that long the way it's so easy to lose some of who you really are.

This is my first time seeing a tribute band They come highly recommended so they must be good Not to mention it helps to feed my need for another U2 concert

What matters is that you have fun and it sounds to me that you indeed do just that! Know Im in for a great night since the main one Im going with is all about letting loose and getting into the music. If you ever come to the US sometime then we should try to meet up and see a tribute band together. Can tell you will be a blast to hang out with

Btw I bet the "larger" Bono is just as cute hehe

Thank you for the well wishes for a great summer Really feel like Im on the right road to just that

 

[youvedonewhat]

It's true actually, you saying that the 'larger Bono' is just as cute. When he waved in my direction I thought (I was standing on a chair by the wall cos I'm too short to get mixed up in the throng so I was higher up then everone else. It's not a very big venue and there I was singing away and waving at him when he waved back...erk...)

I really must get a life...

 

[BonosBaby12]

I really must get a life...

You do have a life. It's a U2 life!

The way I see it any Bono love is worth the effort