Need ur help......

[Schmeg]

Everyone else has said it all. There is someone out there who can help you, and you know you have our support. I'm thinking about you.

 

[celia]

Awww Emilie I know how it feels to be really low, and it can be hard to talk about sometimes, english is my first language and I cant find the right words to describe how Im feeling so I cant begin to imagine how hard it must be for you to express how unhappy u r.

Remember there are sooo many ppl here that would sit and listen if u needed to talk or try the councellor or anyone who u'd feel comfortable with. I hope things will seem better for you soon. You are a wonderful person who desrves happiness!

celiau2@hotmail.com

 

[miss-U2]

thanks everyone i will first talk with you and then if i have time (that's gonna be the problem ) i will go there

i will let you know

and as U2kitten said, this board keeps me alive

 

[flaming june]

Aww Emilie, I can totally understand what you are going through... I feel like that sometimes and my mom has gone through some serious depressions too. But it does get better, it doesn't look like it but it will. The trick is to hang on until it happens. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[miss-U2]

i found where that "aras de brun" building is!! i was walking at college this morning, and i passed in front of it but i didnot have the strenght to go in

a friend of mine from france texted me, he will be online tomorrow so that we could talk... he is coming to my place in April, i know i will feel better when he will be here, cos he makes me laugh, he just has to say nothing, just be there, and i wanna laugh (and no i am not in love with him everyone to who i talked about this guy told me "mmm something is gonna happen in april " but NO )

anyway i just don't think about what's wrong and i think of YOU, and i am fine

 

[U2Kitten]

 

[miss-U2]

 

[Diane L]

Emilie, I went for counseling when I was at university. I was in love & got hurt, and life just didn't seem worth living anymore. But with the help of a counselor, as well as two friends who were invaluable to me, I managed to hang on and graduate. A year later, I got the job of my dreams, and worked there for 4-1/2 years. So life CAN get better...I know!

What dazzled by light said about SAD makes tremendous sense too. I've never been to Ireland, but I've heard so much about the rainy, cloudy, gloomy-sounding weather. I would imagine that it must be a damper on your spirits to go through day after day after day in weather like that.

I hope you can find something that will make you feel happy when you feel sad. I find that reading a book can do it for me, especially a cute romance story or a well-written mystery. Writing your thoughts down in a journal can help, too.

Please remember, you are not alone.

 

[miss-U2]

the weather is really fine here nowadays i hope it will lift my spirits

 

[Lemonboy]

Well I have nothing to add except that I have been struggling with depression lately and it really helps to talk about it...

 

[Lemonboy]

Please remember, you are not alone.

 

[Mullen-Girl]

Emilie

I went through the same thing when I was going to my University. It wasn't actually me who made the appointment to see the counselor. My friend from Dublin called all the way from there to Texas to make an appointment to get me to go and well I couldn't tell her no i'm not going. I got enough courage to go to the counselor (after pacing in front of her office for about 20 mins before). Let me tell you...that helped me so much. I wish I had that again cos it really did help.

Just hold your head high and you know that you have us wacky PLEBAns to help you out if you or anybody needs it

 

[miss-U2]

thanks what i really need is someone from Ireland who wants to get involved with me in my business

maybe i will go on monday to the office, set up an appointement, and i will see if it helps me or not

anyway, i will be kept very busy this week end, as i have a presentation on monday (again) and a friend of mine from dublin is coming to my place just for the week-end cos her boyfriend broke up so she feels depressed ( and she came to me ) so i won't have time to think about myself

 

[meegannie]

I know how you feel, I really do Been there, done that, still go there all the time, unfortunately. I don't mean to knock counseling, but to me, I don't see how it can help if money is the problem. So, this person with all this money and a piece of paper hanging on the wall is going to tell me I don't feel like shit when I know I do? Sorry, I do not buy that. Not enough money is a terribly depressing and hopeless feeling. I am living with that right now. Not seeing any real way to make enough money to dig out of the hole is like a torture that never ends and the bottomless pit feeling can really drag you down. People with financial security in their lives cannot understand how frightening and depressing and hopeless that really feels. Sometimes I feel like giving up, sometimes I feel like I don't care if I wake up in the morning. Sometimes, the only thing that keeps me interested in life is this forum, yes, it's true, and wondering what would happen to my cats if I were gone. I know someone would take care of the kids, but not the cats. I know living in a fantasy on a mesage board is not going to help me, but it helps me get through in a life of desperation.

I wonder that about the conselling too, but I think that while it can't change your situation in most cases, it can help you deal with the negative thoughts/feelings better, find different ways of dealing with things, and give you motivation to do something other than sleep all day. I hope!! That said, I wouldn't pay for it the first time. If I tried it and it really worked, I might consider it if I could afford it, but the only reason I'm pursuing it now is that it's free for me until September when I've finished my MA.

I agree about the money thing. I constantly worry about money and feel like I'm just walking on this tightrope. My degrees are useless, I have no real job skills, I'll have over $30,000 in student loans, and nothing to fall back on. I'm not very close to my family and neither of my parents could afford to help me even if I asked for it, and I would rather live on the streets than ask someone for help. With me, it doesn't help that when I was growing up, I was constantly told that we couldn't afford things, even things like health care, when my parents would spend money on a new couch that matched the wallpaper border or give one of my stepbrothers money when he was in his 20's, still living at home, coming home drunk all the time, fighting with my dad, and not even looking for a job. I think that mentality of not being able to justify expenses has carried over to me in a weird way. I won't go to the doctor (well, except here since it's free) or buy food, but I'll buy things for other people. I've gotten better about spending money on myself, but it's still really hard for me to justify it and I have to go through a long process of convincing myself that I can afford even the tiniest things, like a candy bar or a bottle of Diet Coke.

There's also such an 'other people' mentality about poverty and homelessness too that a lot of people just can't imagine how it could happen to them. Then there's the mindset that being poor is always just a result of laziness. My mom was homeless and had to live in a shelter for a year even though she had a full-time job. I used to live with my dad in Kentucky and see my mom in Michigan over the summer and at Christmas up until I was about 13, and I would go from a middle-class lifestyle to a trailer park or low-income housing. I would go to the store and complete strangers would tell me how ugly I was and call me white trash or get scared if their kids talked to me based solely on how I was dresssed and how I looked (I'm the quietest person on earth, so it wasn't a case of me being an obnoxious brat or anything!). I just have this MASSIVE fear of going back to that and even now I won't leave the house without makeup and dressed decently because I feel like people will think I look like white trash. It's so embarrassing posting that.

Anyway, my point is that you're not alone, and there are people who care about you, even if we don't really know you. I know our situations are different, but worrying about money is so terrifying and draining. I get angry when people say 'It's only the Internet' or things like that. People cling to different things and have different priorities and something that help them cope or escape for a while -- whether it be the Internet, their family, their friends, books, movies, music, sports, etc. I don't think it's anyone's right to judge those means as long as they're not hurting/neglecting other people or themselves.

 

[dazzledbylight]

megannie & Sherryd

hi,
i hope you weren't offended sd. I am poor myself, have been the last 9 years.

While I do sometimes rail against being poor- I hope that with the the right personal strength, encouragement & support from my others, good choices, more good future circumstances than not & *luck* will help me ease the most problematic parts of my current circumstances, *perhaps even transcend them quite well*.

Ialso have to continue to cultivate hope for myself, which often isn't easy at all for me, under certain triggering events/ circumstances. But with certain types of cognitive work, I did make very marked changes in a group of 35 yr long reoccuring intractible set of thoughts {till the last 3 yrs}-that would produce intensive anxiety/fear.. That has given me hope to a[pply the method elsewhere.

I'm not not dirt-poor or destitute, but even just being por is scarey, trying enought at times.-thought I wasn't always so {not that i was really upper-middle class either}.

Megannie oh you r pooor mom & you,

I have a story a friend of mine who was from a poor family rold me, you will relate to... near out of time/money next time.

SD *you sound like someone who has intellegencee & caring, that could get you places*. perhaps we can talk at some future points.

 

[dazzledbylight]

:hug

just got your e-m addy off your other thread--will add mine to your list of e-m shoul;ders to lean in next day or3 as time /weather permits me to get to a computer/website cappbility.

gliad you have things to do& firend coming to visit you.

 

[Sherry Darling]

Re: megannie & Sherryd

hi,
i hope you weren't offended sd. I am poor myself, have been the last 9 years.

SD *you sound like someone who has intellegencee & caring, that could get you places*. perhaps we can talk at some future points.

Moi? Well, thanks. But I'm confused, I haven't really posted on this thread. You haven't said a thing that's offended me.

 

[RockNRollDawgie]

Hi Emilie

Hang in there. Glad you got a friend coming over, and you're going to check out resouces at your school for help.

 

[miss-U2]

SD, i think dazzled by light meant U2Kitten not ya

thanks everyone you are really good friends

 

[Sherry Darling]

SD, i think dazzled by light meant U2Kitten not ya

thanks everyone you are really good friends

I think so too. That's SO something I would do.

sd

 

[U2Kitten]

Well thanks dazzledbylight

Meegannie I totally understand and agree and feel for you. Thanks for writing that post

 

[dazzledbylight]

OOOppppssssss

<they're right!>

Well, U2Kit & SD you're *both* welcome!

Meegannie- your post is so sad, heartfelt and insightful. don't be ashamed anymore .

I'm so sorry people were #so cruel# to you. I hope more over time your insecurities will diminish and you will slowly & gently treat yourself to more things you need and want- when you really can money-wse and fear will not chain you....' wipe your tears away...."

and as a wonderful old american Labor song says... ....Hearts starve as well as Bodies// gIVE US bREAD, BUT GIVE US rOSES!...oooppss pinky slip.

U2Kitten.... weli I also know you DO have a sense of humour!

But having gone back to look at your pleaba intro... < aand NOT wanting to open a hornet's nest> it seems to me you are MAYBE at least partially suffering from some kind of family caretaking burnout?

If one counselor did you wrong, is there some other service you can turn to? Seems they dismised you too quickly, But that was just one person.

yes, I iunderstand -the money...any other free or extremely low cost sliding scale stuff? Don';t know how small a town area you live in.

It seems at some future point your varios interesting & varied hobbie/passions might help you find a way out or eventually earn you some extra money.
*trust me, I'm struffling very hard with my art {and I've been professionaLLY TRAINED AND HAVE AHD COMMERCIAL ART CAREERDARN...PINKY SLIP {LOOK DOWN ALOT WHEN i'M TRYING TO TYPE FAST CFE READY TO CLOSE... hecjk I still didn't get it off caps...sorry!!

go well all see you Sunday

 

[dazzledbylight]

a little more stuff I didn't have time to post

back a litttle earlier.... than expected.

sorry for the sloppy spelling on those last few sentences- in a
real rush then.

U2Kit... what I wanted to add was that ...i don't know how you feel about your various caretaking duties.

Just wanted to say that beyond the ??10% of caregivers {to their Children, Spouses/ Significant Others, Elders etc} who are *absolute saints*- #whether they hide any resentments, regrets they DO have#, OR really are 100% in Loving, Devotional state of being -- most other people even if/when they want to take of those they love/or feel obligations toward whomever sometimes *still*have short, medium, or long bouts of near or full burn-out. ANd with women still inculcated with this as a more or less must social duty/ social want to--it strikes us harder when we sometimes chaff under difficult circumstances.

thought it was important to clarifyand further my thoughts/ concerns.
----------------------------------------

Emilie, hope you are doing ok as you can curently be....

go well all & ~~~****HAPPY SPRING****~~~TO ALL OF US IN THE nPORTHERN hEMISHPERE!

 

[Seabird]

I am sorry so many of you have problems. Anyone who read my post on EYKIW a couple weeks back knows I have been very depressed and out of luck and low on hope myself. Then losing my cousin was another tragic blow. This is such a good coummunity of good people here and it's good we have each other to share these things with. everyone feeling down

 

[Merc]

Hi Emilie...

How are you?! Feeling better I hope...

Would you please let me know that you're allright again - I take it pretty serious when people talk about taking their own lives...

 

[miss-U2]

i feel better i just don't think about what's wrong

 

[Hanover]

Emilie, my dear friend...I only just ventured into your post and I'm so sorry to learn that you're feeling down. It's nothing to be afraid of, all of us, at some stage in our lives hit a low patch and it's how you cope when you're there that counts. You've obviously made a crucial move to progression by admitting that you're feeling depressed, the next step, if the symptons persist is to go and talk to a counsellor. It's not that difficult and its essential that you go, please Emily, there's no-one else can do this but you, if there's nobody else you can talk to on Camus then I srongly recommend that you see a specialist. Depression is an awful ailment and as I've said we're all destined to experience it at some point in our lives - first thing I'd, is go and see someone who is trained to help. We're all very fond of you here Em, so please for your own sake and for peace of mind for the rest of us - please don't postpone seeing someone...

If you wan't to talk text me and I'll phone you back -

086 0664639

 

[miss-U2]

awww thanx declan but don't worry, my best friend is coming for 2 weeks next friday , and then on the 15th, it is my secret lover

 

[Supernova]

I haven't been in this subforum for ages and I hadn't seen this thread before 5 minutes ago.
I'm glad to see you're doing a bit better.Just take one step at a time.
If you need to talk,you know how to find me.