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Old 11-16-2003, 11:10 PM   #1
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Choose Your Own Adventure with the Edge- Beginning

This story is a choose your own adventure, meaning that you read a section of text and are then prompted to make a decision, and follow that thread to a different page. There are numerous paths and endings. Scroll up and down for chapter; I know this is potentially a pain in the butt but this story was originally written for the Zoo, which is more conducive to this kind of thing, but having said that,

Have fun!!

It is a lovely summer afternoon. It is not too hot or humid, nor is the sun beating down on you with midday intensity; in fact, it is the perfect afternoon. You are feeling really happy, for you are walking down the streets, past all the shops you’ve just been to, heading back to the bus stop with a bag full of bargains. You really needed new clothes, as the other ones were reaching that point where they are bordering between casual shopping mall clothes and slopping-around-the-house clothes.

You are walking along, humming your favourite U2 song, when suddenly, as if the song was a summons, you noticed a lean man in a beanie just like the Edge’s walking some distance ahead of you.

“Cool,” you think to yourself, “New clothes and an Edge look-alike!” And you carry on down the street, your bag swing gaily beside you. Yet, your eyes are on this man, silently willing him to turn around so you may see if he looks like Edge from the front too.

As if some divine answer had been granted you, something in a shop window takes the man’s fancy, and he stops to look. He turns and faces your direction obliquely, gracing you with a view of a longish face with high cheekbones and goatee belonging to none other than the real Edge. No. It couldn’t be. Then you catch a tiny glint of light as the afternoon sun hits his left ear. It’s an earring. You stop dead in your tracks, and very nearly drop your precious bag of bargains. Excitement floods over you in a wave of heat, choking all thoughts from your mind, except for,

THE EDGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your impulse is to bolt up to him and go, “OH MY GOD, YOU’RE THE EDGE!!”

If you do this, go to chapter 3

If you collect yourself, your thoughts, and your shopping and decide to just follow, go to chapter 8
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Old 11-16-2003, 11:13 PM   #2
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Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2- No peeking!
*












Chapter 2
“Oh no!” You cry in lamentation, “They were the perfect pair of jeans, oh God I can’t believe this has happened!” You truly are upset, because you know you will never find such a pair of jeans as long as you will live.

Edge picks up the mess and pats you consolingly on the shoulder, offering you platitudes that you will find another perfect pair of jeans.

“No I won’t,” you sulk.

“Look, I’m so terribly sorry,” Edge’s face expresses genuine contrition over the jeans crisis, but you are not happy. Your favourite rock star just caused the demise of the almost impossible prize- the perfect pair of jeans, and you have every right to be upset with him. Right now you don’t care who he is. He could have been God on Judgement Day, and you could not have cared less.

Edge pulls open his wallet and checks his funds. “Hm,” he says as he checks his watch, “How about I take you back to that shop, and I’ll get you a new pair?”

Perfect! Once again he is your favourite rock star, and now you do care less. This way you get to get a new pair of jeans and spend some time with the Edge!

You and he walk back to the jeans outlet where you found this golden acquisition, and before long, you leave with another perfect pair of jeans. Your perfect afternoon, though marred by the mishap in the shop, is perfect once more, even as Edge checks his watch again, and hastily explains that he’s late for some movie he really wanted to see. With that he disappears, heading briskly down the road, while you just stand there, satisfied with your perfect afternoon.

The End


























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Old 11-16-2003, 11:20 PM   #3
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Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3







Chapter 3
You almost run into Edge as you quickly cover the distance in your excitement. You have definitely caught his attention.

“Oh my God, you’re the Edge!” you squeal.

Edge looks a bit stunned. His clear green eyes have widened in surprise, and people are staring at you. Heat rises in your cheeks, and your body seems to go numb. Suddenly you feel small. You feel very small, and very stupid, and suddenly you want to crawl into the gutter and down the storm water drain. Rather, you regain your composure, and try gather together any dignity you may feel you have left, while Edge says, quite congenially,

“Well yes, I am Edge.” He has now overcome his momentary shock. Somehow, his statement has put you at ease. It was not so much what he said but it was the way he said it, for his face is not cold and set, but appears open and warm. You no longer feel so stupid, but you’re still not sure what to say now.

If you say something anyway, go to 6

If you would rather wait for him to say something, go to 5























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Old 11-16-2003, 11:24 PM   #4
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CHAPTER 4








*








Chapter 4
It turns out that the shop is one of those game shops, with every board game you can think of, jigsaw puzzles, model aeroplanes, plus little nick-nacks and odd-ball collectables. The merchandise stands are very high, and you cannot see over them, let alone locate the Edge.

Your wildest thought tells you that he saw you gawking at him, and so he came in here and escaped through the back door. However, this shop does not have a back door, only a door to the storeroom to the side of the counter. You notice that the sales assistant is behind the counter, marking off items on an invoice. If the Edge is in here, then this person is certainly not concerned about it.

There are full boxes on the floor, no doubt the items on the invoice that have just arrived. You walk around a stack of boxes, and around one of the tall stands. No Edge there. You walk around another one, and there he is in all his glory. He’s got a jigsaw puzzle box with a picture of an owl on the front in his hands. The Edge.

You quickly dart back behind the stand, hoping your rustling shopping bag won’t disturb him. You hear footsteps. The Edge checking out the rustle?? You tell yourself that it is no crime to stand in the same shop browsing the- you look at the contents of the shelves in front of you- Warhammer miniatures? You look closely at these boxes, which contain grotesque goblins, rat men, and armoured characters riding hideous beasts. Other boxes contain sets of elves, and knights taken right out of feudal Europe. Yet other boxes boast zombies and skeletons as their contents. You are quite amazed by these things, even though you don’t particularly like them. What sort of people collect these things, you wonder as you take a step back to view the entire range…and you bump into someone.

You take a sharp breath. You spin around so quickly so as to almost fall over, coming face to face with the Edge.

“Whoa!” you cry.

His hands dart out and grab your wrists, to prevent you from falling, and he holds you tightly as you are about to stumble backwards into the Warhammer display. That could be particularly nasty, as most of those knights and rat men carry pointy little weapons.

You straighten yourself up, and the Edge lets go of your wrists, apologising for startling you so. He bends down to pick up your bag of goodies that you inadvertently dropped in the confusion, carefully placing the contents back into the bag. Your new little perfume bottle has broken, and its contents have gushed onto your new jeans, lifting some of the colour out. It is a terrible moment for you, because you well know how dang hard it is to find the perfect pair of jeans!!!

Edge echoes that sentiment, as you bend down to see what you can salvage, saying, “Oh I’m so terribly sorry! I know how hard it is find such nice jeans and” he looked at the price tag “at such a good price too!”

You:

Make a big deal out of the jeans disaster: Go to Chapter 2

Don’t make a big deal: go to Chapter 9
























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Old 11-16-2003, 11:26 PM   #5
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CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 5






















*
Chapter 5
Edge senses your unease, and offers his hand for a shake. “I am the Edge,” he says again, “And who might you be?”

You take the offered hand, noticing that his fingers appear very deft and you think to yourself, “Hm. Boy, he does have beautiful hands!” while introducing yourself.

“Pleased to meet you,” Edge drawled in his lovely Dublin accent. It was a pleasure to listen to, especially in person! It wasn’t quite as overt as say, Jimeoin’s accent, it was far more sedate, and altogether very attractive.

“Pleased to meet you too!!” You chime.

“I could see that,” he smiles, dazzling you with a perfect set of teeth and a twinkle in those sharp green eyes, “You very nearly knocked me over!”

The heat rises in your cheeks again, and you apologise profusely. By now no one on the street is taking any notice of you, thank goodness.

“No need,” says Edge, “I can see you’re not a looney!” He laughs, and continued talking, “We’ve had some outright looneys approach us, you know, and that’s why we have such good security, especially Bono. I like to think I’m more inconspicuous. But Bono- women practically throw themselves at him, almost anywhere he goes!”

You get totally wrapped up in the conversation now, saying, “Ugh! Bono! I’d never throw myself at him! I tell you, I’ve always preferred the…” You realise what you’ve just said, and that storm water drain is looking very, very inviting, and you feel as if you’re about to burn up.

The Edge smiles broadly, and his eyes twinkle again. “The Edge?” he finishes emphatically.

You stammer, “Well, yeah.” Go to chapter 10

You say, “Ahh, no, ah, the drummer.” Go to Chapter 12

































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Old 11-16-2003, 11:27 PM   #6
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CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 6
























*
Chapter 6
You look at Edge, totally not knowing what to say that would do justice to this momentous occasion, so you end up just following social convention by blurting, “How are you today?”

He looks at you without expression, and says, equally as flatly, “I’m fine, thank you, and how are you?”

“Ah, not too bad…” you seem to be lost for words again, but this wild thought pops into your mind, a totally impulsive, unexpected thought, and, beyond all belief the most forward thing issues forth from your mouth, “So, what are you doing tonight?”

Silly, silly woman! You silently berate yourself for your straight forward stupidity. You suddenly break eye contact with him, unable to bear to see his reaction. You and he are standing outside a shop, while the street teems with people going about their business, streaming either side of you, like a torrent in the midst of which you feel like a big, clumsy rock.

“My, my, you are a live one, aren’t you?” laughs Edge.

By now, you are so far gone that you feel almost numb, and, despite your earlier surge of stupid feelings, press on with the conversation, regaining eye contact with the Edge, “You better believe it. So, then,” you venture tentatively, “how about you and I go somewhere?”

Edge is incredulous, naturally, even appearing to be experiencing a bit of trepidation. He glances at you nervously, and then glances about as if expecting some kind of ambush.

“What are you on about?!” that little voice inside you screams, “You don’t just say that to a famous rock star!”

Now you’ve done it. Edge feigns a glance at his watch and insists that he really must get going now. He darts off down the street.

The End

















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Old 11-16-2003, 11:29 PM   #7
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CHAPTER 8















*
Chapter 8
You decide to follow the Edge, while trying to figure a way to introduce yourself to him and not make a wally of yourself. You collect yourself and take a step in Edge’s direction, but not before he disappears into the shop, the window of which he had just been browsing.

“Oh nuts,” you think, for you do not feel that you can just walk into any old shop and just introduce yourself to Edge over a rack of men’s clothing, a pile of hats, a table full of books, or whatever the shop might contain. But really, your nature is such that you:

Go into the shop anyway- 4

Decide to wait for him to emerge from the shop- 13










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Old 11-16-2003, 11:30 PM   #8
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CHAPTER 7











*
Chapter 7
“Oh sod.” You think. Now you’ve committed. You have to show this toff up, and you have to see the Edge! But you wonder how you’re going to pay for this, as you have spent all your spare money on your new clothes. However, you maintain your composure, and whip out your credit card, and casually walk to the reception desk.

The woman there, so heavily decked with make-up that she looks almost like a mannequin, eyes you with the same distain shown by the white-suit. Raising one eyebrow at her, you haughtily request a room for the night. Soon you’ve filled out the paper work, and you are given a key. Your heart is racing, and that sickly feeling of worry and guilt comes over you as you realise how much money you’ve spent on that little key. However, you gather your bag and hunt down your room, taking the marble staircase that had just been graced with Edge’s feet.

After walking down a mile of those low lit corridors with niches carved out for big expensive looking vases, you finally find the door that corresponds with your key. You turn the key and slowly unlock the door, and inside there awaits the shock of your life! It’s Edge, sitting on a leather couch, tuning a guitar! Your heart leaps up your throat, and he turns and looks at you in a rather puzzled fashion.

“Ah, hello there,” he says in that soft Irish accent, “Is there anything I can help you with?”

You are too stunned to really say much, so you stammer something about the key the receptionist gave you.

He puts down his guitar, approaches you and checks the key. “You must be next to me, I think, she must have given you my spare.” He pauses for a bit, carefully considering you. “Say, I think I saw you at the shops this afternoon, looking at the fish! I had no idea you were staying here. No offence, but you don’t look like the gentry type who usually come here.”

“Ah, none taken. Um,” you decide to take a stab, “I’m staying here because I heard that a famous rock star was staying here.” You can’t help but grin at Edge.

“Aha!! Well, you know, I can never turn down my dedicated fans! Why don’t I get room service to bring us a coffee?”

Wow! Are you fortunate! You can’t believe your luck, and before long you are talking about music and U2 stuff with the Edge. Some time later, Edge’s wife and kids return from where ever it was they were. Morleigh joins in the conversation while the kids bring out their toys and play near their parents. It truly is magical, to see such a beautiful family all together like that.

Morleigh then notices Edge’s guitar sitting there, and says to him, “Oh, you’re still fiddling with that cruddy old thing? I thought you were going to get rid of it!”

“But, I am, dear,” he kindly informs her, “I think I’ll give it to our young friend here!”

Your eyes widen until you think they’re going to pop out, and your jaw drops in sheer amazement and delight. Edge’s guitar! Unable to contain yourself, you throw your arms around Edge and Morleigh and give them the hug of a lifetime. Eventually you leave, carrying your bag of bargains and Edge’s awesome guitar!

The End








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Old 11-16-2003, 11:33 PM   #9
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CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 9










*
Chapter 9
“It’s ok, it’s ok, it really is,” you keep saying to him, “look, it was my fault, really, I stepped back just as you went past, seriously, I should have been watching where I was going, look, it’s not worth making a fuss over, I can get new ones, really I can.”

Both of you are kneeling on the floor of this shop, facing each other. Edge looks intently at you, pleading with you to let him go back to the shop and buy you another pair. You tell him not to be ridiculous, that you will never let someone pay for your mistakes.

He pleads with you again, genuine contrition in his intense green eyes, this time begging that you allow him to make it up some other way. His intensity pierces your thinking, and you now feel that it would be unfair to let him go off feeling bad, even if he wasn’t at fault, and you will never forgive yourself if you didn’t make the most of your encounter with the Edge.

“Oooooh!” you giggle inside, wondering how he plans to make it up to you in “some other way”, but you dismiss the teenage girly thoughts and become serious again. You’re still reluctant, however, to allow Edge to put himself out for you, and you let him know this with a thoughtful frown.

“Ahh, ok, if you really have to, but you know, it really was my fault-”

Edge brightens and stands up, with all your things in one hand, and the bag with the jeans and the evil perfume inside in the other. You stand too, and straighten out your skirt. By now, the dopey sales attendant has come over to check the commotion, and, seeing Edge with your things, rushes to the counter and brings back an extra bag for the clothes.

“Alright then,” says Edge as he checks his watch, “I’ll take you to a movie. There’s a good one starting in about 15 minutes.”

Strange? It seems to you like a strange way to make up for some ruined jeans, but you don’t object. Sounds like a good idea to you!

You agree, and then Edge realises he doesn’t know your name. “I’m sorry,” he says, “I’m Edge, and who are you?”

You graciously supply your name, and let Edge lead you out of the shop, down the street, and to the cinema. Edge takes you up the back, and sits you down with a huge bucket of popcorn. He turns to you in the dim light, and grins like a boy. The lighting obscures his character lines somewhat, even making him look a bit like a boy, albeit one with a goatee. “I feel like a teenager again!”

“So do I, sitting up the back like this!” You are so happy, that every part of you seems ready to bounce out of its skin. Boy, did you make some good decisions today! Now, what might have happened had you just followed your first impulse, and ran up shouting, “Oh my God, you’re the Edge”, you thought.

Anyway, the movie sucks, and the two of you leave at the end, laughing at the sheer stupidity of the plot, or rather, the lack of. Edge says that although the movie was a shocker, he hasn’t had so much fun at a cinema for a long time. He then declares that he has become rather hungry, and then insists that you join him for dinner. You’re full of that popcorn you ate (however, he ate most of it, but it is a fact that thin men can eat and eat and eat, and never get full or put on weight) but of course you go along with him, strolling out into the night air in search of a suitable restaurant.

The End


















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Old 11-16-2003, 11:36 PM   #10
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CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 10
















*

Chapter 10
You nature is such that you will say whatever is on your mind, so in a small voice you say, “The Edge.” Heat rises in your cheeks, and you wish you’d made something up.

Edge just laughs. You feel like that one time when you were in high school and your best friend blurted out to the guy you liked about how you liked him, when you were standing right there. You’d liked this guy for ages, and every day you tried to work out ways to gently express this to him. While you would normally just say it, you didn’t want to frighten this guy off, so you would test the waters occasionally, and then go out of your mind trying analyse every thing he ever said to you. You feel like that right now, for Edge’s laugh is exactly the same as that boy’s from high school.

“Heh heh, you remind me of Morleigh when we first started working together! But don’t worry, you wouldn’t believe how many times I hear that kind of thing...”

Still, having heard Edge say that, you don’t feel any less like that embarrassed schoolgirl.

He leans forward and tweaks you softly on the cheek, “…so don’t worry about it!” But there is nothing in that tweak, you realise, rather, it is paternalistic, like a father affectionately tweaking his daughter. You sigh in relief. He hasn’t run a mile from you, the looney U2 fan. Just as well it wasn’t Larry you were talking to right now, otherwise you would have been told to bugger off! You thank God that your impulsive nature hadn’t led you to smother the rather aloof Larry Mullen.

Meanwhile, Edge takes a small note book out of his pocket (you cannot even imagine how he even fit it into those well-fitting jeans of his) and writes something down. Tearing off the piece of paper, he hands it to you, and gallivants off down the street, saying something about having to meet up with his mates for a jam session.

You look at the piece of paper he’s given you- wow! A piece of paper from the Edge!- and make a mental note to frame it. It has his autograph on it, but apart from that, nothing else special. After all, to him, you’re just another fan.

The End
















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Old 11-16-2003, 11:38 PM   #11
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CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER 11












*



Chapter 11
You can’t afford the rates you know a place like this would charge. Heck, you feel like you’re wasting money just by standing there! But you are sort of satisfied, because now you know where the Edge is staying, and you know you can come back here another day (when you are allowed to that is!) and hopefully catch Edge lounging by the pool or in the bar.







THE END






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Old 11-16-2003, 11:40 PM   #12
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CHAPTER 12








Chapter 12
“No, ah, the drummer,” you lie, “what’s he called again? Oh, Larry Mullen.”

“Of course,” Edge sighs, “Chicks dig the drummers. They always do!” He seems almost disappointed as he continues, “Or they dig the singer, or even the bass guitarist! Never the guitarist, though.”

Oh dear. Edge seems upset. His whole demeanor has fallen, and now you feel infinitely terrible. Who meets their favourite man in the whole world and then goes and offends him?

“Aw, I’m sure plenty of chicks dig guitarists!”

Edge perks up immediately, and laughs. “I wasn’t serious, sweet, so don’t look so sad! There are plenty of chicks who dig guitarists!”

“Tell me about it!” You heartily agree. He is dead right. Right now you, a chick, dig this guitarist very much.

“I thought you’d agree.” Edge grinned, and you realize you have just fallen into a verbal trap, very deliberately set. It doesn’t surprise you, for you know that he is a very intelligent man. He does not seem perturbed at all, rather, he seems quite the opposite. You feel comfortable with him knowing that you ‘dig’ him, for he’s giving off all the right signals. Your mind races. Of all the things you’d done today that made you feel good, like the meeting friends for lunch, and having the satisfaction of finding the perfect new clothes at sale prices, and the sunshine, and the gentle breeze, and now this!! What will you be able to tell your Zoo-mates, you wonder excitedly.

Your thoughts stop there however, as Edge takes you by the hand, and whisks you away from the shops, and away from all the people. Life just doesn’t get any better than this.

The End










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Old 11-16-2003, 11:42 PM   #13
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CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER 13






Chapter 13
You hang around near the shop, but not too close, half watching its entrance, and half watching the road, as if you are waiting for someone to pull up and give you your lift home.

You notice that the shop is a pet shop, with multi-coloured fish in aquariums behind the window. You love aquarium fish, so you decide to browse. After all, it is not like you are waiting for the Edge, rather you are legitimately looking at the fish. And naturally, through the fish tanks you can see Edge in the shop.

As the sun starts to go down, you are still looking at the fish. You never want to see another fish as long as you live. All they do is swim around, and all the Edge does is “um” and “ah” between a pair of Siamese fighting fish. However, your patience is rewarded, for Edge eventually leaves the shop carrying one of the fighters in a plastic fish-bag.

He walks right past you, and you begin once more to follow carefully. You really don’t know what you’re doing now, only that you have to be the most obsessive U2 fan that ever lived to keep going on like this!

Anyway, as darkness falls, you follow the Edge through the streets, padding behind like some sort of Gollum creature. He seems quite oblivious, and starts whistling a tune you’ve never heard before. In your mind you’re wagering that it’s a new U2 song in the making! Before long, Edge reaches a big fancy hotel, complete with water fountains, huge palm trees, and a paved drive thru driveway, with a valet, out the front. You enter after him, still maintaining a cautious distance. A sight of marble columns and extravagant statues in the midst of fountains greets you in the lobby, as well as a huge tropical fish tank off to one side. Edge happily saunters up a gigantic curved stairway flanked with ornate flower arrangements, disappearing onto the second floor.

Suddenly, you are aware of the bourgeois patrons of this place staring at you, totally out of place as you are, in a denim skirt and t-shirt, carrying a shopping bag. You stare right back at them defiantly, and they turn snootily back to whatever business they are attending to. God only knew how they felt about a rock star in jeans, a T shirt and a beanie staying in their midst!

A man in a white suit glides up to you, and affects an upper class accent, “Excuse me, madame, but only patrons are allowed in the lobby at this time, unless of course,” he eyes you up and down with distain, “You plan to book a room?”

You realise you can’t afford to do this- Go to chapter 11

You reply with an equally affected accent, but the parody is lost on the white-suit, “Well, of course I do, SIR, why else would I be here?” Go to chapter 7
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Old 11-17-2003, 01:53 AM   #14
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that was fun. me and edge went to the movies!
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Old 11-17-2003, 07:08 AM   #15
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Edge wisked me away...but I wanted the DROOMER!!!! LOL j/k...I'd take Edgie poo anyday as well
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Old 11-18-2003, 05:13 PM   #16
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hehe...movie and dinner with Edge? Don't mind if I do.
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Old 11-11-2006, 01:28 PM   #17
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I went to the movies with Edge! What fun!
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Old 11-13-2006, 02:40 PM   #18
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The movies and dinner yummy!!!!!!!
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