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Buccigross: How to dismantle...
By John Buccigross
Special to ESPN.com
There are two things I can't do fast enough:
One is tie my skates next to a salacious sheet of ice. That boyish impatience has stayed with me to this day. It can be 6 a.m. on a dry, cold January day, and that warm-blooded eagerness goes right to my fingers. If you threw a keyboard down in front of me in the middle of skate tying, I could type 700 words a minute.
The other is open a much anticipated new CD.
My third-favorite quote of all time is by Sir Thomas Beecham: "The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought."
Music provides a current of energy I need to live. So, combine my fervent CD anxiousness with the insane ways CDs are packaged in 2004 and you have an experience that is only more maddening than breaking a skate lace in the middle of said skate tying -- especially since I'm usually opening my new CD while DRIVING. Is anything more difficult to open than a new CD? The next time Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow get into a conference room they should seal the doors with that last piece of sticky tape that seals a CD case. What is that thing??!! And when a piece of it gets on your finger, you CANNOT get it off. It's like a strand of hair on a piece of soap. I hear they seal nuclear reactors with that substance. Are record companies doing everything possible to discourage CD purchases? It's not downloading, bad music, $18.99 for a new CD, or bad marketing that sent CD sales plummeting at the start of the decade. IT'S THAT DAMN BIONIC ADHESIVE!! After the TV show "MacGyver" was cancelled in 1992 the CD industry must have bought all of MacGyver's bonding strips at a "MacGyver" going-out-of-business sale.
The other benefit of a new, freshly opened CD is the sweet smell of the liner notes booklet. That's the first thing I do once I get the industrialized tape off the case. I bury my nose right in the booklet and inhale deeply. I did the same thing with those prehistoric copier machines we had in elementary school and I did the same thing when my Dad would take me to hockey games as a kid. He'd buy the hockey program "GOAL" and I would open up that thing and SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIF deeply. I loved the smell of a fresh new hockey program. The only time it wouldn't give me a hockey high is when I realized I just inhaled deeply on an action photo of a sweaty Johnny "Pie" McKenzie.
Last week, I was heading to my mom and dad's for a visit. Before the two-hour trip, I rushed into Borders, plopped down my $12.99 and got U2's newest release, "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb." Its title is a perfect metaphor for this CBA season. The negotiations between the owners and players are much like a bomb, figuratively speaking. If it goes off and obliterates the season, who knows what the damage will be? So, with that in mind, let's go through U2's 11 songs on their new disc as we wait for Gary and Bob to start dancing.
To read the full article, visit ESPN.com: http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/story?columnist=buccigross_john&id
Thanks to Kenneth!
By John Buccigross
Special to ESPN.com
There are two things I can't do fast enough:
One is tie my skates next to a salacious sheet of ice. That boyish impatience has stayed with me to this day. It can be 6 a.m. on a dry, cold January day, and that warm-blooded eagerness goes right to my fingers. If you threw a keyboard down in front of me in the middle of skate tying, I could type 700 words a minute.
The other is open a much anticipated new CD.
My third-favorite quote of all time is by Sir Thomas Beecham: "The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought."
Music provides a current of energy I need to live. So, combine my fervent CD anxiousness with the insane ways CDs are packaged in 2004 and you have an experience that is only more maddening than breaking a skate lace in the middle of said skate tying -- especially since I'm usually opening my new CD while DRIVING. Is anything more difficult to open than a new CD? The next time Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow get into a conference room they should seal the doors with that last piece of sticky tape that seals a CD case. What is that thing??!! And when a piece of it gets on your finger, you CANNOT get it off. It's like a strand of hair on a piece of soap. I hear they seal nuclear reactors with that substance. Are record companies doing everything possible to discourage CD purchases? It's not downloading, bad music, $18.99 for a new CD, or bad marketing that sent CD sales plummeting at the start of the decade. IT'S THAT DAMN BIONIC ADHESIVE!! After the TV show "MacGyver" was cancelled in 1992 the CD industry must have bought all of MacGyver's bonding strips at a "MacGyver" going-out-of-business sale.
The other benefit of a new, freshly opened CD is the sweet smell of the liner notes booklet. That's the first thing I do once I get the industrialized tape off the case. I bury my nose right in the booklet and inhale deeply. I did the same thing with those prehistoric copier machines we had in elementary school and I did the same thing when my Dad would take me to hockey games as a kid. He'd buy the hockey program "GOAL" and I would open up that thing and SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIF deeply. I loved the smell of a fresh new hockey program. The only time it wouldn't give me a hockey high is when I realized I just inhaled deeply on an action photo of a sweaty Johnny "Pie" McKenzie.
Last week, I was heading to my mom and dad's for a visit. Before the two-hour trip, I rushed into Borders, plopped down my $12.99 and got U2's newest release, "How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb." Its title is a perfect metaphor for this CBA season. The negotiations between the owners and players are much like a bomb, figuratively speaking. If it goes off and obliterates the season, who knows what the damage will be? So, with that in mind, let's go through U2's 11 songs on their new disc as we wait for Gary and Bob to start dancing.
To read the full article, visit ESPN.com: http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/story?columnist=buccigross_john&id
Thanks to Kenneth!
