Random Music Talk CXXVII: Crickets

[LemonMelon]

Melbourne will be fine. They know to lock down before things get out of hand. I wish we hadn't forgotten that.

 

[lazarus]

We're back into the strict lockdown in metro Melbourne

Sorry to hear.

listening to Coldplay's Strawberry Swing.

Even sorrier.

 

[cobl04]

Things just got out of hand. This is our second lockdown. The uncertainty is very depressing. And I am extremely concerned about the mental health impacts of another lockdown, particularly one that's been announced to be six weeks long. There's been no official word yet about mental health support, and I am beginning to wonder if the lockdowns are worth a spree of mental health impacts.

 

[Jerry Dunk]

Well, the alternative is a pseudo-lockdown that will probably last the better part of two years and essentially leaving every individual person to their own devices on deciding what to do for money and for social interactions. There are no winners here, but I'd prefer a lockdown that gets people to safety faster than the hell we're experiencing here in America where we're basically punting life to 2022.

Still, that sucks. Hopefully this lockdown is taken seriously and it eradicates the second wave swiftly. And hopefully that seriousness includes health coverage like you've outlined.

 

[GirlsAloudFan]

Well, the alternative is a pseudo-lockdown that will probably last the better part of two years and essentially leaving every individual person to their own devices on deciding what to do for money and for social interactions. There are no winners here, but I'd prefer a lockdown that gets people to safety faster than the hell we're experiencing here in America where we're basically punting life to 2022.

Still, that sucks. Hopefully this lockdown is taken seriously and it eradicates the second wave swiftly. And hopefully that seriousness includes health coverage like you've outlined.

"Punting life to 2022"...isn't that dependent on the development of a vaccine (or other effective treatment)? Sounds like you're not optimistic about the prospects of a vaccine in 2021. I'm holding out hope and have read some promising things about the work.

 

[bono_212]

Things just got out of hand. This is our second lockdown. The uncertainty is very depressing. And I am extremely concerned about the mental health impacts of another lockdown, particularly one that's been announced to be six weeks long. There's been no official word yet about mental health support, and I am beginning to wonder if the lockdowns are worth a spree of mental health impacts.

Like J.D. said, I'm definitely not trying to do some dick-measuring thing of who has it worse, but you are actually in a pretty good place to have a clearly established lock down with re-opening plans/phases.

L.A./California decided to start reopening because....we do need to eventually reopen, but seemingly caving to social pressures, opened too much too fast, and guess what? We're back on almost total lockdown again for at least three weeks. And there's absolutely no guarantee we re-open in three weeks, just re-evaluate.

Basically I'm saying, keep your head up. Don't feel like you're alone, you have a lot of people to commiserate with. We'll be OK

 

[david]

Coldplay’s Parachutes is a few days away from turning 20 years old. [emoji51]

 

[the tourist]

Parachutes is a solid record, but still near the bottom of their catalog for me. Can’t believe it’s that old.

 

[cobl04]

I would actually love to hear from you all about what it's actually like living in the US at the moment, wherever you are. I'm really interested to know. We only get an outsider picture of America, and it's hard to know what it's actually like.

 

[gump]

Well, for my part, NYC is not representative as the situation is much better than most other places in the country after the terrible spring. Things are ok. We are still working from home (while caring for a toddler), and offices are now slowly getting people back but most people will keep working from home in the foreseeable future (NYC has the added complication of too many people reliant on crowded subways to go to work). Schools are not reopening normally in the fall - they will have staggered schedules, students going a couple of days a week only, etc. Most universities will have remote lessons in the fall.

In terms of everyday life, you only do stuff outdoors. So parks are crowded, restaurants and bars can serve food/drinks outside only and tend to be crowded. I do go out almost every day for a walk with my son, and we spend a lot of time outdoors on weekends. Mask usage is pretty widespread at this point, but not in outdoor dining or in parks. But there is an eerie feeling all around, and I think one of the worst consequences of the pandemic at a human level is that it makes you suspicious of everyone - I am always watching out to make sure there aren't people around.

 

[LemonMelon]

Personally? I'm bored out of my mind and very resentful that all of my efforts to become a teacher for the past three years have proven fruitless despite recent licensure because of budget cuts and scheduling uncertainty. I have no realistic hope of finding a job until, oh, February. Meanwhile, Ashley's company is going under and she's facing furlough in a couple of weeks, being invited back for three week cycles of work and furlough. I don't know how that's going to go.

For many of us, the economic fallout is the worst thing about the pandemic. Others have lost loved ones. A rare few have benefited from the pandemic. Many just keep on going like nothing has changed. It really just depends on your state. For a few weeks there, basically nothing about SoCal was different beyond the masks. Now, we're heading back to May but with far more sick people walking around.

 

[iron yuppie]

Relatively speaking Chicago has been faring well. Our new case numbers have hovered around 0.5% for about a month now. Compliance with mask-wearing and social distancing has been almost universal from what I have seen. I'm very introverted, so I can't speak to how people are doing in the absence of the usual social opportunities. But even when you see friends gathered in parks or wherever, they are spaced apart by a good distance. The one thing I have really missed - which I acknowledge is a luxury - is the gym. They are set to reopen later this month, but I'm on the fence about going.

 

[iron yuppie]

I don't know how attuned to this people from outside the US are, or if it is similar in other countries, but here complying with basic health guidelines - or not - has become a political statement, which is an absolutely tragedy.

 

[bono_212]

That is by far, for me, the worst part of this whole thing, besides deaths (obviously).

Why it became political to listen to health guidelines is beyond me, and it's appallinq.

 

[Moonlit_Angel]

That is by far, for me, the worst part of this whole thing, besides deaths (obviously).

Why it became political to listen to health guidelines is beyond me, and it's appallinq.

Same. I seriously want to slap the next asshole who whines about "MUH CONSTITUTIONAL FREEDOMS!" in response to wearing masks or having to follow guidelines or things of that sort. Just shut the fuck up already, you moronic simpletons.

Coldplay’s Parachutes is a few days away from turning 20 years old. [emoji51]

...wow.

On a similar note, was watching "Through the Decades" tonight and on this date 24 years ago, the Spice Girls' "Wannabe" was released.

I feel old.

 

[Jerry Dunk]

"Punting life to 2022"...isn't that dependent on the development of a vaccine (or other effective treatment)? Sounds like you're not optimistic about the prospects of a vaccine in 2021. I'm holding out hope and have read some promising things about the work.

We have probably the worst system imaginable for managing this. and our total inability to get testing right basically confirms to me that this will not be handled soon. Everyone, even the most cynical capitalists, have an incentive to get testing correct and accurate. That we can't do it means we can't handle even the most basic parts of this.

I think a vaccine will be ready at the earliest next summer. Some treatments may develop in the interim, but it seems that so many people will be priced out of it that it will likely have little impact.

I would actually love to hear from you all about what it's actually like living in the US at the moment, wherever you are. I'm really interested to know. We only get an outsider picture of America, and it's hard to know what it's actually like.

I'm incredibly fortunate in that I'm still employed and still able to pay my rent and bills. So I haven't borne the brunt of this. We're about to evict a record number of people, as it turns out that sending everyone $1200 and dusting your hands off doesn't help solve a pandemic and economic crash. My company's situation is very risky; we are a small business that is built upon in-person meetings. We have been able to transition to some remote things in the short term to keep our head at the water, but the spike in Covid cases is making things worse. If things don't turn around by the end of the year, my company could fold. That anxiety persists and won't stop until there's a real breakthrough on this. Still, that puts me in a better situation than most.

For me, the changes are a great restriction on social life. There's no real way to safely meet people out at bars and restaurants, even the ones that are semi-open. There are no sports, and even when there are will be no gatherings for tailgates or going to the games themselves. There are no concerts to meet at. Public transportation is not something I'm comfortable doing, though there's nowhere for me to take it anyway. These are the primary ways that I meet up with my friends in the city. I'm paying to live in a city with none of the benefits of doing so.

I have met up with some friends in the suburbs to have some drinks outdoors in people's backyards. I have met my family a few times by having dinner with them on their back deck. We can play golf; I've golfed with my dad and brothers and golfed with my friends a few times. I cannot exercise traditionally. My gym is closed and even when it opens, I won't be comfortable with it. I live in a very dense neighborhood, and going for a run without a mask on feels like it's putting others into a bad place. I don't bicycle since I almost died doing so. I'm staying in shape basically by putting heavy things into garbage and grocery bags in my living room and trying to do some basic weight lifting. And I'm eating terribly because I don't know how to cook, and grocery shopping for a single person who lives alone is tough because I don't want to buy things that will spoil before I eat them.

Entertainment is drying up. I don't like movies all that much but I find myself having to watch more of them because I have nothing else to do. I'm trying to discover TV shows as much as I can. Nothing new is being made. I'm trying to listen to new music, but I'm having trouble doing so more than I used to for whatever reason. There are no sports, and I'm quite confident there will be no real sports played in America until the spring of 2021. Too much is going to go wrong as they try to roll this out here. Concerts will likely be the last thing to return.

But I think the main thing is just the feeling that this will not end for a long time. Two of my closest friends are getting married this year. The first one was supposed to be in April. It was delayed to late August. They're still going forward with the plans, but it may not happen. There's another in October. He has moved his bachelor party to next year already because nowhere would be safe. I'm at the point now where I hope both weddings get postponed to next year, because if we actually did go through with it, everyone would be on eggshells and not enjoying themselves, or worse, doing irresponsible things that put everyone at risk. How would that be enjoyable for anyone?

And the longer this goes on, the more people will simply be put in the position of being shunned for abandoning their friends or shunned for abandoning people's safety. The longer this goes on, the more people run out of money and lose their homes or go into insane amounts of debt. More people won't be able to afford healthcare. Crime is going to go way up as people get desperate. The American people have been abandoned and left to their own devices. This is accelerating a track we were already on, but it's hitting all at once in a way no one could have prepared for.

I'm 29 years old and probably going to throw 1-2 years of my social life away, and I'm probably a best case scenario in this country. Obviously there's no opportunity for any dating so I'll be certainly single for the foreseeable future. I feel as though this has only made our political situation worse. Any energy that was going towards moving things forward on climate change, healthcare, and income inequality is now going towards just defending ourselves from the powerful forces trying to take advantage of the situation. Everything just feels exponentially worse than it was even when this whole thing started, and it feels like it's going to go on even longer than we thought it would.

 

[bono_212]

I'm not going to tell you how to feel, because pessimism is absolutely valid, but I do want to say that I feel that your post is quite in the extreme of what I have observed, also living in a large city that is densely populated and taking the threat of the virus very seriously.

I don't have any information to offer, that differs from anecdotal or just feelings, but I am hesitant to agree with your projection of two lost years of your life. For one thing, humans adapt extremely well to adversity, I am sure that in time (and many places have already done this) we will find ways to deal with our new (temporary) "normal."

A few things I will "disagree" with you about that I *do* have some knowledge in:
- There is absolutely new content being created. A lot of things were held over the summer, as well, to avoid no content for the fall.
- Studios are reopened and active. There's already an entire film that's been shot and is in post production since the studios reopened on the 12th.
- We're also finding new ways of making content with what we have. I'm sure no one wants to watch entire seasons of zoom call shows, but we've at least found ways to draw the pandemic into programing in a way that is entertaining and reflective of reality.

As for running, I have found a system that makes me feel less guilty:
1) I do bring a mask out with me, but I am very guilty of chin-strapping it until I see people in the distance. Is this perfect? No. But the odds of infecting someone that you're maintaining social distancing from while running with a mask on are also pretty damn low
2) I have found a route/time schedule where I run into very few people on my runs. Only once has this not worked out for me and even then I ran into about 7 or 8 people vs my normal 2 or 3.

A lot of what you're feeling seems to be anxiety-based and fear and I completely feel that. I work in television marketing. Without television to market, it could be a very likely event that my company folds. However, they seem optimistic that there is work coming. I'm trying to buy into that optimism whenever I can because it is all we can do. But I have a daughter and a husband who is currently out of work. I have to work and the fear that that job might go away is real. I'm not telling you to pretend like what is happening isn't, I'm just going to give you the same advice I've given to Travis and others who are feeling a very similar way to how you are: Find a way to focus on the positives you see. Most people find that keeping a journal of gratitude/blessings is a good way of doing this. Similarly I find time during my day to talk to Travis/family member about anything positive that has happened that day. Little victories are no joke.

Anyways, I don't want this to come across as judgey or preachy. I just care about all of you and I hope that we can get through this together and not get stuck in the mire.

 

[Jerry Dunk]

I will just say that my off-handed comment about there being no new content was probably among the least of my concerns listed out there. I'm sure there will be new things coming out. We've already seen new music being able to be released. But that's probably pretty far down on the list for me.

As for adapting to adversity, we've built an entire system in this country to keep us from being able to adapt, by making everything about individual choices. We could adapt to adversity if the people in power allowed us to, but they won't, so we won't.

I am a very pessimistic person by nature, but I've truly spent most days feeling simultaneously hopeless and guilty for feeling hopeless since I still have a job. There hasn't really been anything to be happy about in a long time.

 

[bono_212]

I will just say that my off-handed comment about there being no new content was probably among the least of my concerns listed out there. I'm sure there will be new things coming out. We've already seen new music being able to be released. But that's probably pretty far down on the list for me.

As for adapting to adversity, we've built an entire system in this country to keep us from being able to adapt, by making everything about individual choices. We could adapt to adversity if the people in power allowed us to, but they won't, so we won't.

I am a very pessimistic person by nature, but I've truly spent most days feeling simultaneously hopeless and guilty for feeling hopeless since I still have a job. There hasn't really been anything to be happy about in a long time.

As for content, I flagged it because I do think it's important for there to *be* content. We want people to be happy/entertained because you want to try and avoid this feeling of hopelessness and darkness and for a lot of people, just having new music/tv/film can be enough catharsis to stop a person from falling into a state of despair. This is something that's been important to me, for example, I've told Travis before, point blank, even without consuming a lot of the new content, if it dried up, that would be a breaking point for me.

On your second point, I think we just disagree fundamentally and that's Ok. I believe that people as individuals are extremely able to adapt, and that's something I don't think the government can impact. This might come off as flippant or stupid, but what I'm saying is that people find ways to cope with tragedies, oppressive regimes, disasters, etc. And I believe that you're already seeing a LOT of that play out in people's day to day, at least I am observing that here in California and the week I spent in Indiana (which, let me tell you, that was absolutely a guilt-heavy decision to take that trip, but...we have lives we have to continue with, and Indiana is open while California is not. I had to make a choice about going to my brother's graduation party. I chose to go, but I took an extreme amount of precaution before, during and after my trip).

And for the third, this is again something I am not trying to say from a point of superiority, but as someone who has seen how down you can get over the years: Things aren't as hopeless as you think they are. There are always positives, but right now, you're feeling guilt for having them and that's something you have to find in yourself to let go of. You have a job, a home, those are two major positives right now. I really truly do feel the same on this one, I struggled with guilt over having a job while most of my colleagues were let go, but honestly I didn't let myself stay there because my life is my life. It's the way it played out and I feel bad for my friends and I've helped them in ways I could, but you have to also live your life and take care of yourself. Other people matter, but so do you. So that's why I'm strongly encouraging you to take some time to be self-reflective and start letting yourself see small things as positives, because there's nothing you can do for anyone else if you're lost in hopelessness.

Sorry, I probably rambled too much and I'm probably just sounding like an asshole. I'm not trying to, I just want to express how I've found ways to deal with this, but I know everyone is different.

 

[LemonMelon]

An insight into me: I've never been employed for any extended period of time. My entire adult life has been spent going from one college classroom to another while making weak, pathetic hand waves at trying to find work in my field, whatever that may be at any given time.

Of course, now that I've embraced staying in the classroom for the rest of my life, this time from the other side of the desk, we fall into a pandemic that puts that goal at serious risk. Nobody knows what the hell is going on, let alone is looking to hire a new teacher.

So I dig what Jerry Dunk is saying, in one sense. I'm 29 years old as well and am terrified of wasting yet another year of my life sitting around the house and telling myself I have potential. The truth is that I don't respect myself and part of me wonders if I'll ever be worthy of respect. It's always one thing or another that endlessly protracts my entrance to adulthood. I'm starving to prove myself, but there are few opportunities being afforded to hundreds of thousands of people just like me.

Where we diverge is that I think we get our info from different places. A lot of what I read in the above posts reminds me very much of content I read at the beginning of the pandemic and learned to circumvent for my own sake. Information bubbles are not always a bad thing. I was suicidal in a March and was holding on by a thread; reading Twitter and engaging with worst case scenarios was literally killing me. So I started looking for more positive news sources to keep myself afloat. While not all of those perspectives came to fruition, life is generally not about the bigger picture. It's often about surviving the day.

My habits and routines are starting to become depressingly repetitive and insular. I read forums and coronavirus news/data far too often. I either send out job applications, think about how they're not being responded to, or feel guilty about not sending them. I don't create as much as I should, and when I don't, I make myself feel guilty for not creating. I don't read books for fun anymore, I don't watch movies that often. Everything is locked tightly into a few activities and I'm just not having fun at all anymore. Can I blame the pandemic for that? Partially, but I could be doing so much more to engage with my surroundings.

My big project for this pandemic is not to make something great, or learn to relax (it's been a couple years since the last time I was), or to get a job. It's simply to come out of it hating myself less. I recently read that self-hate can often stem from the negative outlook of parents, and I am a parent now. I refuse to pass my toxicity onto my daughter and that process has already begun, with me at a very low point. There is still plenty of time to turn things around, but it takes a lot of work.

 

[Hewson]

As for running, I have found a system that makes me feel less guilty:
1) I do bring a mask out with me, but I am very guilty of chin-strapping it until I see people in the distance. Is this perfect? No. But the odds of infecting someone that you're maintaining social distancing from while running with a mask on are also pretty damn low
.

No need to feel any guilt about this method of running. Most are doing this and its perfectly acceptable so long as you hoist the mask when you see someone you will pass by. Even our mayor who is as lockdown happy as they come (while the state has advanced to phase 3, he has not yet allowed the city of Boston to follow suit even though all the data is in the right direction and has been for some time) has said that he has seen folks running along the Charles River doing this and it is fine.

 

[Hewson]

An insight into me: I've never been employed for any extended period of time. My entire adult life has been spent going from one college classroom to another while making weak, pathetic hand waves at trying to find work in my field, whatever that may be at any given time.

Of course, now that I've embraced staying in the classroom for the rest of my life, this time from the other side of the desk, we fall into a pandemic that puts that goal at serious risk. Nobody knows what the hell is going on, let alone is looking to hire a new teacher.

So I dig what Jerry Dunk is saying, in one sense. I'm 29 years old as well and am terrified of wasting yet another year of my life sitting around the house and telling myself I have potential. The truth is that I don't respect myself and part of me wonders if I'll ever be worthy of respect. It's always one thing or another that endlessly protracts my entrance to adulthood. I'm starving to prove myself, but there are few opportunities being afforded to hundreds of thousands of people just like me.

Where we diverge is that I think we get our info from different places. A lot of what I read in the above posts reminds me very much of content I read at the beginning of the pandemic and learned to circumvent for my own sake. Information bubbles are not always a bad thing. I was suicidal in a March and was holding on by a thread; reading Twitter and engaging with worst case scenarios was literally killing me. So I started looking for more positive news sources to keep myself afloat. While not all of those perspectives came to fruition, life is generally not about the bigger picture. It's often about surviving the day.

My habits and routines are starting to become depressingly repetitive and insular. I read forums and coronavirus news/data far too often. I either send out job applications, think about how they're not being responded to, or feel guilty about not sending them. I don't create as much as I should, and when I don't, I make myself feel guilty for not creating. I don't read books for fun anymore, I don't watch movies that often. Everything is locked tightly into a few activities and I'm just not having fun at all anymore. Can I blame the pandemic for that? Partially, but I could be doing so much more to engage with my surroundings.

My big project for this pandemic is not to make something great, or learn to relax (it's been a couple years since the last time I was), or to get a job. It's simply to come out of it hating myself less. I recently read that self-hate can often stem from the negative outlook of parents, and I am a parent now. I refuse to pass my toxicity onto my daughter and that process has already begun, with me at a very low point. There is still plenty of time to turn things around, but it takes a lot of work.

Couple of things if I may.
The point about "wasting another year" of your life, its definitely OK to give yourself a pass on hat one considering world events. Once a vaccine is deployed and things get back to somewhat normal, then focus on moving forward with things. As you said , your chosen field will be difficult at best to find employment in for the short term, but 6 months or a year from now things will open up. Probably many opportunities.
As for the lack of self respect etc. Just from "knowing" you through this site, there's no reason for that. You have plenty going for you most notably your wife and daughter. And you exhibit intelligence, compassion and plenty of other positive traits.
In a nutshell, you're a good dude, recognize that about yourself.

 

[Hewson]

And same for Peefy Dunk. This is a short term situation, things will improve, and you're a good, intelligent person, you have plenty about yourself to be proud of. Just power through and things will be better.
We'll all come out the other side of this and we'll end up stronger in the end.

 

[lazarus]

Coldplay’s Parachutes is a few days away from turning 20 years old. [emoji51]

Coincidentally, so is the last girl that GAF slept with.

 

[lazarus]

I'm staying in shape basically by putting heavy things into garbage and grocery bags in my living room.

Did Peef just low-key confess to murdering someone and disposing of their body piece by piece??

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[Hewson]

Did Peef just low-key confess to murdering someone and disposing of their body piece by piece??

Spoiler

Spoiler

Spoiler

 

[LemonMelon]

Couple of things if I may.
The point about "wasting another year" of your life, its definitely OK to give yourself a pass on hat one considering world events. Once a vaccine is deployed and things get back to somewhat normal, then focus on moving forward with things. As you said , your chosen field will be difficult at best to find employment in for the short term, but 6 months or a year from now things will open up. Probably many opportunities.
As for the lack of self respect etc. Just from "knowing" you through this site, there's no reason for that. You have plenty going for you most notably your wife and daughter. And you exhibit intelligence, compassion and plenty of other positive traits.
In a nutshell, you're a good dude, recognize that about yourself.

Thank you. You've "known" me for a long time so I won't quibble over little things you said that my brain is telling me aren't true or too optimistic. What you wrote comes from an honest place and I'll try to be easier on myself in situations I can't control.

I never really thought of myself as a patient guy, but nothing teaches you patience like the 2020 pandemic when you're waiting on unemployment claims to clear. Fuck.

 

[iron yuppie]

LM, to your job concerns: I suspect there is going to be a shortage of teachers as the school year approaches given a lot of people will take early retirement, extended leaves, etc when they are forced to stare down the risks of returning to the classroom. It's a damn shame you might have to assume some of that risk to get your foot in the door, but there's a good possibility the opportunity will arise for you.

 

[LemonMelon]

LM, to your job concerns: I suspect there is going to be a shortage of teachers as the school year approaches given a lot of people will take early retirement, extended leaves, etc when they are forced to stare down the risks of returning to the classroom. It's a damn shame you might have to assume some of that risk to get your foot in the door, but there's a good possibility the opportunity will arise for you.

I've been spending time on r/teachers lately and have heard the same thing there. Late July/early August is when contracts are finalized and some teachers back out around that time. With everything up in the air and the situation very risky for older teachers, it wouldn't shock me to receive an email one day about an interview. I got my name on the district eligibility list for exactly that reason.

I would accept that risk for the same reason I went out and protested for BLM...I have privilege as a relatively young white man with health insurance and someone needs to do the work.

 

[cobl04]

græ is pretty exceptional, folks.