Fire Fly

[Kieran McConville]

In the belly of three a.m.
Stiff white on the inside
Sheets starched in cement
Sleep came like a forced rhyme.

And when the hot wind starts
This hitchhiker rides no car

Into the static
Early morning storm on the air
The heat hung like plastic
The waiting was everywhere

And when the stormcloud bleeds
It's almost just like release

She played her last cigarette
Waiting for the sunrise
When the branches sway
Gotta get yourself on fire

Knowing love is a bag of stones
And a lifetime to carry them home

So an old mood
Followed him to a new house
Breakfast for dinner
And rusted-on dressing gown

On the cusp of a new idea
Drop your beached-whale fears

A street at nightfall
Laughter like a new moon
Train stumbles past
There'll be lightning soon

And you'll know it when you feel it
And if you don't know by now
You'll know it when you feel it

No choice but to say
Goodfuckingriddance
To panic and all that
The one thing you mustn't forget
The most important thing there is
The one line you didn't make up
The one word you didn't retract
The only thought worth thinking
The only cup worth drinking
The first hit of the morning
The last gasp of the night

Spinning like a dervish
Ready to unleash
Don't want to say the words
All tired out with words
There it is
There in the forefront
Love is the script
And this movie's not been made
The words
You can enlist
To your cause
Will undo you
At the last
And the first thing
That tumbles right
Will be the firefly

 

[BabyGrace]

wow, this has a very dark, tense atmosphere to it..
i love the way it kind of feels like the poem is unraveling at the end, maybe that's just me, but either way, it's a cool ending.

your imagery is incredible. i loved all of it but these two lines just really struck home for some reason..

Knowing love is a bag of stones
And a lifetime to carry them home

brilliant.

 

[Kieran McConville]

Originally posted by BabyGrace:
wow, this has a very dark, tense atmosphere to it..
i love the way it kind of feels like the poem is unraveling at the end, maybe that's just me, but either way, it's a cool ending.

your imagery is incredible. i loved all of it but these two lines just really struck home for some reason..

Knowing love is a bag of stones
And a lifetime to carry them home

brilliant.

Well, thanks. You're right, it does unravel towards the end, but that might just be my own impatience. I had half a mind not to post it, but if it ain't finished by now it never will be.

------------------
"The animals, baby"

 

[BabyGrace]

i didn't mean unravel writing-wise. it feels like it's unraveling emotionally...
which is hard to do without it reflecting in your writing.
im glad you posted it, so no second thoughts, ok?

 

[zooropamanda]

Very raw and jagged almost
Left me feeling uneasy.
Thanks for sharing.

 

[Kieran McConville]

You know the funny part, it's meant to be optimistic.

Sort of like when Thom Yorke said The Bends (the song) was meant to be funny, and reporters kept asking him if he really wished it was the 60's. ie. everything is open to interpretation. Interesting.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Amazing, I liked it a lot.

 

[The Wanderer]

first let me say I love the language you use in this poem

No choice but to say
Goodfuckingriddance
To panic and all that
The one thing you mustn't forget
The most important thing there is
The one line you didn't make up...

it's very refreshing to say the least, structure tends to bore me, yet sometimes writers use it (or don't use it, the structure that is) as an excuse to be lazy, but your writing is far from lazy

In the belly of three a.m.

it's always great to open up a poem with a brilliant line like this, it's sets up everything so well

And when the stormcloud bleeds
It's almost just like release

She played her last cigarette
Waiting for the sunrise
When the branches sway
Gotta get yourself on fire

yes!

this poem is so fucking impressive, I really enjoyed reading this, you really made me smirk in appreciation

The words
You can enlist
To your cause
Will undo you
At the last
And the first thing

it's funny I sort of ignored this, or not ignored this but let it slide past me the first time I read it, but on 2nd read, it's the simplicity in how you say it, so clever... damn, you avoid contradicting yourself, while many would try a fancier route in expressing it, yet defeat the purpose of the words in doing so

 

[Kieran McConville]

Originally posted by The Wanderer:
first let me say I love the language you use in this poem

No choice but to say
Goodfuckingriddance
To panic and all that
The one thing you mustn't forget
The most important thing there is
The one line you didn't make up...

it's very refreshing to say the least, structure tends to bore me, yet sometimes writers use it (or don't use it, the structure that is) as an excuse to be lazy, but your writing is far from lazy

In the belly of three a.m.

it's always great to open up a poem with a brilliant line like this, it's sets up everything so well

And when the stormcloud bleeds
It's almost just like release

She played her last cigarette
Waiting for the sunrise
When the branches sway
Gotta get yourself on fire

yes!

this poem is so fucking impressive, I really enjoyed reading this, you really made me smirk in appreciation

The words
You can enlist
To your cause
Will undo you
At the last
And the first thing

it's funny I sort of ignored this, or not ignored this but let it slide past me the first time I read it, but on 2nd read, it's the simplicity in how you say it, so clever... damn, you avoid contradicting yourself, while many would try a fancier route in expressing it, yet defeat the purpose of the words in doing so

Gee, thanks for those kind words. I don't know if I'll have too many other bits and pieces up my sleeve though. I started that damn poem four years ago.

Actually I approach most of this stuff as almost frustrated song lyrics. That's what is in the back of my mind, unfortunately I do not write music. Perhaps somebody else does.

------------------
"It wouldn't be a cry from the heart
or a high, hurtin' wail
we could look down and laugh now
I'd be all together
I'd be totally removed..."