Seeking advice from Christians and non-Christians

[Somebody]

It was meant to be tongue-in-cheek, so to speak. I chuckled myself when I thought of it. But it's so true!

So things still aren't going all that great. I think I may have made the wrong decision. Which is fine; it won't be the first (or last) time I've been wrong about something in my life. I appreciate coemgen's line about us all being flawed, but it just seems like everything I've tried with God just keeps me at bay, like it's something I'm not supposed to know about. I went through a bit of a crisis a few weeks ago and nobody helped me through it. I realized that that's pretty much the history of my life: I get myself through everything. No use trying to depend on anybody to help me out. I don't know why I thought this would be any different. I do admit though, it was great. It was wonderful, in fact, thinking that I was loved and wanted by God. But no matter how hard I try, I can't let that feeling back in me anymore - and believe me, I've tried. I've tried very, very hard. Because I desperately want to keep it with me but it's just not there. I've been at peace with the notion that I’m not a wanted child my whole life, and now I think I'm headed back to being at peace with it. I'm not knocking Christianity or religion or anything like that. I don't believe that Christianity isn't right for me; rather I've come to the conclusion that I'm not right for Christianity. Tough pill to swallow, but c'mon, there's 6 billion people in the world today, who can honestly say that everyone should be Christian? I guess it's just that Peter was kind of my 'mama duck' with this, and he's not there for me now, and well, that must mean that something's wrong with me if the mama duck doesn't help to nourish the baby duck. Doesn't matter what the truth really is; that's how I perceive the situation. There’s more to it – a lot more – but that’s the gist of it all. I do appreciate everyone’s words and thoughts though – thanks everyone for your time.

 

[redhotswami]

Somebody, please feel free to e-mail me if you want to talk. exwhyzee @ gmail.com

I'm not trying to push you into Christianity or anything. I'd be more than happy to talk to you about whatever it is that is bugging you.

 

[MooMoo!]

Dont forget, Christianity isnt the only religion.

I dont know if it has any bearing on your situation, but ive been learning about existentialism, which works around the idea that we ourselves are responsible for our lives, not where we come from, who our parents are, or who the people around us are. Some people might find that a hard idea to deal with, as we have to accept a lot of things being our fault, such as our failings in certain things, but personally I found it very inspiring. I can do anything, its up to me, not anyone else. If you want something good to happen in your life, go out and do it, and dont wait for anyone else to make it happen.
It gave me the sense that nothings impossible, and gave me a lot of hope. This is the opposite to what you said about god not being there etc.
so I say, if you want to be a Christian, go out there, and do it. its not up to Peter, the church, or anyone else, just you. If you dont want to be a christian, then you just dont.
Like I say, its not an easy idea to swallow, but they arnt responsible for what you do with your life.

Ive probably just offended everyone here, but hey.

 

[coemgen]

So things still aren't going all that great. I think I may have made the wrong decision. Which is fine; it won't be the first (or last) time I've been wrong about something in my life. I appreciate coemgen's line about us all being flawed, but it just seems like everything I've tried with God just keeps me at bay, like it's something I'm not supposed to know about. I went through a bit of a crisis a few weeks ago and nobody helped me through it. I realized that that's pretty much the history of my life: I get myself through everything. No use trying to depend on anybody to help me out. I don't know why I thought this would be any different. I do admit though, it was great. It was wonderful, in fact, thinking that I was loved and wanted by God. But no matter how hard I try, I can't let that feeling back in me anymore - and believe me, I've tried. I've tried very, very hard. Because I desperately want to keep it with me but it's just not there. I've been at peace with the notion that I’m not a wanted child my whole life, and now I think I'm headed back to being at peace with it. I'm not knocking Christianity or religion or anything like that. I don't believe that Christianity isn't right for me; rather I've come to the conclusion that I'm not right for Christianity. Tough pill to swallow, but c'mon, there's 6 billion people in the world today, who can honestly say that everyone should be Christian? I guess it's just that Peter was kind of my 'mama duck' with this, and he's not there for me now, and well, that must mean that something's wrong with me if the mama duck doesn't help to nourish the baby duck. Doesn't matter what the truth really is; that's how I perceive the situation. There’s more to it – a lot more – but that’s the gist of it all. I do appreciate everyone’s words and thoughts though – thanks everyone for your time.

OK, this is honestly turning into the saddest thing I've ever read here.
The first thing I have to say is it seems as if you're confusing God, with flawed Christians. I don't think it's God that let you down, but a few people who've misrepresented God (who are therefore letting him down, too).
The next thing I have to say is YOU ARE LOVED BY GOD. EVERYONE IS. That's why he went to the cross. The Bible says we ALL fall short of the glory of God. He's perfect, we're not. (I've let God down today a few times at least myself). God, being perfect and pure, wants us to be perfect and pure, too, but knows we can't do it alone. That's why Christ came. Being both human and God, he lived a perfect life and died in our place for the penalty of sin, which the Bible says is death. Then he conquered death and created a loophole in the law. Now, because of this, all we have to do to be pure in God's eyes is accept this, and we're his. You've already done that. You're his. He died for you, just like he did for me. His grace is for all of us, the Bible says.

You're his.

I wholeheartedly urge you to separate your frustrations with this Peter twirp and your relationship with God. There's that saying "Don't shoot the messenger." You should shoot the messenger! (I kid, I kid) But, seriously, please, please don't deny the message.

I'm not pleading for my own personal gain here. I'm not going to get another notch on my Christian black belt or points in heaven or whatever. I'm urging you to do this because, for one, I've seen my wife (who went through Hell as a child) experience healing, forgiveness, peace, acceptance and love among other things, through a relationship with God. She told our whole church this a couple years ago as she rededicated her life to Christ in baptism. It was the most beautiful thing, I've been a part of. (She asked me to baptize her) She felt the same way you did. She had no desire to keep on at one point and felt she was outside of God's love. I've experienced incredible things, too. That's what it's about. There's nothing you can do to make God love you any more than he already does. There's nothing you can do to make God love you any less than he does either.

I could write forever, which would only annoy the hell out of everyone else (and maybe even you), but you do have one Christian here who's willing to help you in the right direction. I mean that, too. If you want to talk more, please e-mail me. I'm here. God's here. Let's talk. coemgen17@hotmail.com My wife, once she gets back in town Monday(not soon enough, the kids are driving me ), would love to talk to you as well.

I'm still praying for you!!!!

 

[BonosSaint]

For full disclosure, I'm agnostic although I like and respect many Christians (coemgen definitely included) very much.

I would guess though that many Christians do not realize how many people cannot feel the presence of a God on their own. For those seeking God and not being able to feel that presence of an abstract, the community is even more important. Prayer feels empty, reading the Bible feels empty. Not being able to see God's face on your own requires you to be able to see God's face in others. Particularly when you've been wounded and abandoned, you need to be able to trust and that betrayel of trust is one of the worst things one human being can do to another as well as the worst thing one Christian can do to another.

You need to know your own expectations too. Did you want to be loved and wanted by God or loved and wanted by this community or were they the same to you? The attention is intoxicating when you are hungry for it and have been denied it for so long. It is hard to trust people, but we need to trust people. And sometimes you will make mistakes on who you trust.
But the alternative is shutdown. Not healthy either. You don't need to find a better brand of Christianity, you need to find a better set of people. You'll know them by how they behave, not by what they say. Once the intoxication wears off, trust your instincts, not your wishes. There are good people out there. Give to them what you can give, take from them what they can give. Only a handful of even good people will be able to give you what you need, but you can get little pieces from the others. Good luck wherever your search leads you.

Other people here will be better able to speak of God's love than I am.

 

[coemgen]

Other people here will be better able to speak of God's love than I am.

Actually, you did a great job. That's kind of what I was trying to say, but couldn't get to.

Thanks for the kind comment, too. I have great respect for you as well.

 

[BonosSaint]

Thank you. I like to hear what you have to say.

 

[Somebody]

I'm sorry if it sounds like I was angry with Peter, coemgen - actually I very much love and cherish him; in fact, I'd do almost anything for him. So please refrain from calling him names. (I'm sure it was just done out of the heat of the moment.) But never did I mean to imply that I'm mad with him or anything like that. Just a bit disappointed, maybe, but that's what human relationships are like - sometimes people disappoint you. But I never want to completely write him out of my life; he's done too much for me – much more than I’ve disclosed here – to do something that drastic.

Anyway, I don't know how to explain it. But I'm much happier now. I'm not confused anymore. And I'm right back where I started. My work is getting better - the past 2-3 weeks have been difficult because all of this crap has been in my head and I haven't exactly been the most pleasant person to be around, but once I put up my last post I was much better - more like myself again, which is a huge step for me, since it's literally only been a few years or less since I've 'found' myself, whatever that means. But anyway, I’m back where I started, and I’m very happy about it. And maybe in the future, another Christian will be able to pick up where Peter left off. He’s not the first one to talk to me about God and stuff, but he’s the first one I seriously paid attention to and didn’t try to disprove. So maybe all he was supposed to do was lay some ground work for a future person to build on. Who’s to say where the wind will take me. I know it’s completely counterintuitive for a converted Christian to try to understand what I’m saying, but I’m very much at peace knowing that God is too busy for me right now and can I please try my call again later. In fact, I rather very much desire for God to do something about the situation in Darfur before he’s ready to be in my life anyway. Which, if you remember in my very first post, is exactly what my first thought was when Peter told me that he was praying for me.

 

[coemgen]

I'm sorry if it sounds like I was angry with Peter, coemgen - actually I very much love and cherish him; in fact, I'd do almost anything for him. So please refrain from calling him names. (I'm sure it was just done out of the heat of the moment.) But never did I mean to imply that I'm mad with him or anything like that. Just a bit disappointed, maybe, but that's what human relationships are like - sometimes people disappoint you. But I never want to completely write him out of my life; he's done too much for me – much more than I’ve disclosed here – to do something that drastic.

Anyway, I don't know how to explain it. But I'm much happier now. I'm not confused anymore. And I'm right back where I started. My work is getting better - the past 2-3 weeks have been difficult because all of this crap has been in my head and I haven't exactly been the most pleasant person to be around, but once I put up my last post I was much better - more like myself again, which is a huge step for me, since it's literally only been a few years or less since I've 'found' myself, whatever that means. But anyway, I’m back where I started, and I’m very happy about it. And maybe in the future, another Christian will be able to pick up where Peter left off. He’s not the first one to talk to me about God and stuff, but he’s the first one I seriously paid attention to and didn’t try to disprove. So maybe all he was supposed to do was lay some ground work for a future person to build on. Who’s to say where the wind will take me. I know it’s completely counterintuitive for a converted Christian to try to understand what I’m saying, but I’m very much at peace knowing that God is too busy for me right now and can I please try my call again later. In fact, I rather very much desire for God to do something about the situation in Darfur before he’s ready to be in my life anyway. Which, if you remember in my very first post, is exactly what my first thought was when Peter told me that he was praying for me.

Hey, first of all, I was just being goofy when I called Peter a twirp. I'm sure he's a nice guy and all. Sorry if that offended you at all -- sometimes sarcasm doesn't come through in these posts. But yes, as a Christian you could say I'm frustrated with him too.

I'm glad you're doing better. That's great to hear. I still want you to give some thought to something though -- God is big enough to work with you, me, those in Darfur, Bono, and the billions of others on Earth. It seems as if he's trying to get your attention and he's seeking you out. What do you think? If he is, do you really think the best thing to do is to tell him "You're too busy for me."? From what you've already shared with us, he's not. And if he is in fact God and is who he says he is through the Bible, he's madly in love with you like the rest of us and completely capable of extending that love to you. Which he's already done and you've already accepted. It's just up to you to embrace it.

I'm still praying for you. And please feel free to e-mail me -- coemgen17@hotmail.com I'd be glad to help you find a church where ever you're at, too.

God bless,

coemgen