Now comes the hard part ... RESPECT & TRUST !!

[MsMofoGone]

What is it going to take for my best friend to RESPECT & TRUST her husband all over again ??


**He was looking at online dating sites trying to have a 'discreet relationship' with someone else. **


That's what my best friend found out on her own. She didn't need to hire the investigator afterall. She also found out he had additional email addresses on different sites, and he had incurred charges to his credit card from networks for chatting with women via phone and online.

Turns out she's been living with me for the last 8 days after she did confront him and 'found the dirt' on him. Now, they are going to marriage counselling through the Pastor of their church, as she wants to work things out and thankfully, so does her husband.

In the long run, did he succeed and cheat ?? I don't know as my friend hasn't been discussing their counselling sessions with me. But, she did say that he admitted that this has been going on since the end of July (even though her marriage was GREAT and showed no signs of difficulty until now)

I'm just glad she found out the truth ... maybe now they can get back-on-track and work things out. I sure hope so.

 

[Kiki]

wow

I'm really very sorry to hear that he really was doing that.

She's really the only one that can answer what it's going to take to respect and trust him again. There's not a defined answer that any one else can give her, not him, not a counselor, and not a pastor.

I think we all learn that the hard way when you're thrown in to a situation like that. It sucks, it really does, and all the answers she may THINK she wants now she may never get. Even if he answers her that he really didn't ever cheat, that could still be a lie. It could be the truth....but she needs to accept and believe what she wants.

It really sucks, trust me I know. I wish her situation had been different. I wish he really was just tied up with work. The thing for her to do now though is to not only work on her marriage with him, but to find that serenity for herself and to stand her ground.

Let her know she's in my prayers and thoughts, as you are too. I know it's hard for you to see her go through this, but know that you're doing the right thing by listening to her, you just can't give her any of the answers she's looking for. Its hard, but she has to find those on her own.

I believe my email is available through here, if not, let me know. But if she wants someone to talk to to bounce things off of, thats been through a similar situation you and she can feel free to contact me any time. Even if you just need someone to talk to.

 

[Bonochick]

The last thread got closed, so this technically is a spin-off thread, which we don't allow. As yolland said in the other thread:

Looks like most everyone with constructive advice to offer has said their piece here already...I think any further developments might be better pursued through emails or PMs to specific people.