Internet code of honor: does it exist?

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U2Kitten

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I guess I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that private emails and PMs were for the eyes of the recipient ONLY and were not to be forwarded, or worse yet printed out and handed around and taped to bathroom walls. There are people I have met online who I hate so much I'd like to beat them with a 2 X 4 but I would still never forward their emails, no matter how dirty, to anyone else. I always thought there was a certain unwritten code of ethics, a level of integrity and honor that forbid people from making personal things between 2 people public. I guess I was wrong. I was completely stunned to find out one of my brothers was printing off our email arguments, highlighting certain parts and taping them up on the wall for all to see. I may be a loser, but I've got more class than that. I didn't do that to him, even after he did it to me. Apparently, I am in the minority to be shocked by this, other people have told me it's a common practice to forward emails around. I can't see anything but harm in this. What do the rest of you think? Ever done this, or had it done to you? Isn't it a form of betrayal?
 
Why are you emailing people you hate? Why not ignore them, delete the emails without reading them, and not reply?


What your brother did was low and trashy, but I think it may be time to stop feeding him material. Why continue to communicate with him, knowing what he did?

It hasn't happened to me, because I don't email people I don't like.
 
It is a form of betrayal - but just a more advanced way of showing someone the note you wrote them or about them.

I'm not shocked by most things anymore. I've had more bad internet/email/chat/IM experiences than I care to count. And have found that many of the people I've met on the internets hide behind their keyboard as a suit of armor - which really annoys me. Tact and civility just don't apply anymore; and while that doesn't shock me, it just saddens me.

As for your immediate situation - you have every right to feel how you do - he did betray your confidence and in a very rude and humiliating way that was uncalled for.
 
Thanks, I'm so glad some people can see how rotten that is :hug: Martha, I HAVE stopped emailing with him. I should have known better, and it was pointless to ever try to explain anyhthing to him. He's going to think what he wants and lie anyway. He will get no more emails from me, ever.
 
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One of the things I hate about the internet is exactly what you are talking about. People hiding behind a keyboard and moniter. Because of that they dont feel the need to keep their word or be accountable for anything. Its one of the major drawbacks of the internet IMO and I have unfortunately experienced it on several occasions. With people that call themselves U2 fans. Thing is, if I met these people in person I dont think they would act that way. Its just sad and pathetic.
 
That's bad and sad enough when it's total strangers, I've had that problem too. My brother is much worse because he knows my phone and cell phone numbers and my address and he hasn't got the guts to do shit to me to my face or even live on the phone he has to hide behind the computer. He's a holier than thou hypocrite too. He's an asshole.
 
Hang in there, girlfriend. It was totally a shitty thing to do. You expect it from strangers, but the family members are harder to see coming when they want to be awful.

:hug:
 
I'm sorry you had to put up with that U2Kitten. That's a horrible, horrible thing to do. I'd want to sock the guy in the nose myself. :mad: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored:
 
Blue Room said:
One of the things I hate about the internet is exactly what you are talking about. People hiding behind a keyboard and moniter. Because of that they dont feel the need to keep their word or be accountable for anything. Its one of the major drawbacks of the internet IMO and I have unfortunately experienced it on several occasions. With people that call themselves U2 fans. Thing is, if I met these people in person I dont think they would act that way. Its just sad and pathetic.
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yeah but people are like that in real life too. they'll talk themselves up in front of their friends like "i'm gonna go tell that guy off, what an ass" and when the person walks up to them? they practically kiss their ass and go overboard with the niceties.

but it is much worse online because it's easy to get all big-headed and think you're some hot shot. i try to be myself as much as i can online, which is why i hate attention whores and the assholes who try to pick fights and such. more than likely they wouldn't act like that in real life (although some would of course) and it bothers me when people morph into someone else, especially when it's for the worse.
 
unfortunately not.. and worse, because it's a silent medium, all the nuances of what you meant to say are lost, so someone can take an IM or email, print it, and go running to someone else going "see? see? look at the horrible thing wolfeden said to me!!" and because it's out of context and without emotion or feeling of any kind, those someone elses may well look at whatever I'd said and agree.
it's not a good feeling at all. :| just the high-tech advancement of the "he said she said" game.. sad when it's within your own family and you're not even given a chance to defend yourself. :|
 
U2Kitten said:
I guess I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that private emails and PMs were for the eyes of the recipient ONLY and were not to be forwarded, or worse yet printed out and handed around and taped to bathroom walls. There are people I have met online who I hate so much I'd like to beat them with a 2 X 4 but I would still never forward their emails, no matter how dirty, to anyone else. I always thought there was a certain unwritten code of ethics, a level of integrity and honor that forbid people from making personal things between 2 people public. I guess I was wrong. I was completely stunned to find out one of my brothers was printing off our email arguments, highlighting certain parts and taping them up on the wall for all to see. I may be a loser, but I've got more class than that. I didn't do that to him, even after he did it to me. Apparently, I am in the minority to be shocked by this, other people have told me it's a common practice to forward emails around. I can't see anything but harm in this. What do the rest of you think? Ever done this, or had it done to you? Isn't it a form of betrayal?
Click to expand...

And I thought my brother was an asshole. I'm sorry he did this to you. You'll be much happier with no contact.
 
U2Kitten said:
Martha, I HAVE stopped emailing with him. I should have known better, and it was pointless to ever try to explain anyhthing to him. He's going to think what he wants and lie anyway. He will get no more emails from me, ever.
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Good! Now the high road is yours. :up:





And possibly a restraining order. :|
 
Its not just the internet where this happens. Back before the internet I wrote a letter to a friend who lives in another city. She felt the need to broadcast the contents, out of context, to some people back here. Yep, that was low, low, lower than a snakes belly, low.

It would be worse if it was done by a brother. :hug:
 
My mother works at the same place as her sister-in-law,....who one day decided to tape up my mother's medical records on a bulliten at work. :mad: The mindset of people who think that kinda stuff is actually ok, sane, and justifiable. :madspit:
 
That's horrible of your brother to do that. :mad:


Stuff like that is the reason why I never say anything in an email that I wouldn't or couldn't say outloud when I'm at work. I've heard of coworkers getting fired because they said some nasty things about a boss in an email and sent it to someone they thought was a friend. This "friend" sent it to the boss who got them fired for other things but I know if this guy wouldn't have sent the email he would still have had a job. I've also known people to get fired for talking about confidential things in emails and it got forwarded to the very person who told them not to say anything.
 
starsgoblue said:
My mother works at the same place as her sister-in-law,....who one day decided to tape up my mother's medical records on a bulliten at work. :mad: The mindset of people who think that kinda stuff is actually ok, sane, and justifiable. :madspit:
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I certainly hope your mom's sister-in-law was fired immediately. That is horrible.

Originally posted by U2Kitten
I was completely stunned to find out one of my brothers was printing off our email arguments, highlighting certain parts and taping them up on the wall for all to see.
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I notice that relatives can be the worst people when it comes to attacking. My dad used to say that his brothers and sisters were like a pit of vipers, and they were...they would spew the most vicious stuff about one another. Sometimes it really is best to just sever all contact.
 
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Um yeah definately been there :|

Emails SHOULD be kept private. Unfortunately, everything you type over the internet has the potential to be shared with other parties. It's hard to remember that sometimes, especially if you are angry while emailing. There are a lot of fucked up people out there. It's best to really think about what you have typed before you click the send button. You have to expect that someone else might read it, therefore adjusting it accordingly before you send.. if you so desire.
 
The thing is he had been accusing me of ridiculous things that weren't true, so I made a long thought out list answering each of his charges and telling my side of the story and he wrote 'bull' and 'lies' all over it. He totally twists everything to be the way he wants to believe so he can do whatever he wants and hog all the money. He is getting more outrageous all the time. You wouldn't believe some of the things he's done, and not just to me. I also found out he had emails all over his kitchen table, and not just mine.

I made a photoshop pic of him and my other brother (who forwarded emails with him) and a bathroom. I want to post it here and say everyone run off a copy and put it in your bathroom or better yet down for your dog's papers or at the bottom of your cat's litter box. But even now I feel like posting their faces would be wrong. Maybe soon I'll stop caring and do it anyway. They deserve it.
 
Nothing is sacred anymore. I try to use the same rule I do for anything spoken - don't say it if it could bite you in the ass later on. It's just like regular gossip, you take a gamble every time you open your mouth.
 
U2Kitten said:
The thing is he had been accusing me of ridiculous things that weren't true, so I made a long thought out list answering each of his charges and telling my side of the story and he wrote 'bull' and 'lies' all over it. He totally twists everything to be the way he wants to believe so he can do whatever he wants and hog all the money. He is getting more outrageous all the time. You wouldn't believe some of the things he's done, and not just to me. I also found out he had emails all over his kitchen table, and not just mine.

I made a photoshop pic of him and my other brother (who forwarded emails with him) and a bathroom. I want to post it here and say everyone run off a copy and put it in your bathroom or better yet down for your dog's papers or at the bottom of your cat's litter box. But even now I feel like posting their faces would be wrong. Maybe soon I'll stop caring and do it anyway. They deserve it.
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I hate to say it but your brother sounds so much like most of my relatives on my dad's side of the family. It's hard to believe just how low some people will go. I often think that the best thing you can do is have as little as possible to do with them. Of course with the estate, I suggest you (and your sister) question everything and demand documentation (such as from the bank etc.) for as much as possible. And if he complains that you don't trust him (well, of course you don't), just tell him if he was honest he would be more than happy to make sure all your questions were answered.

No one should have to deal with this kind of crap from relatives, but unfortunately it happens way too often. I wish you good luck with it.
 
U2 Kitten - Just as others have said, that kind of behaviour totally disgusts me. Sadly my own brother is dead, but when he was alive he never did anything like this. We had blazing rows alright as sister&brother, but he NEVER went behind my back and made up any nasty stories about me which were untrue, or anything close to it. All of this saddens me :(

She should have been fired on the spot for making a persons' medical records public knowledge, utterly sickening :madspit:

I know EXACTLY what you mean about severing all contact, indra. A lot of my so-called family totally suck&it just got to a pont where i thought, you know what? None of them are even worth bothering with, even if you are related to them! Yep, give nice people your time! :wink:
 
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