I have a crush and I don't know what to do, because I'm moving.

[Russty Cat]

About three weeks ago my husband lost his job. We've decided that its time to move back to Southern California to be with our family. The economy is really bad here and there are many more jobs there. My husband leaves on Monday to go down to hopefully find a job, before we all move down.

My best friend who is really sad that we are moving has asked me to get a matching tattoo with her. I think its a great idea and something I've wanted to do with her for a long time. So today I had to go talk to my tattoo artist to see when she would have time to tattoo us and get a price quote from her.

Here's where the fun comes in. I have a huge crush on my tattoo artist. I have since the first day I met her. She is a gorgeous Australian woman. The first time I met her I thought there was no way she would do work on me I felt like the biggest dork. She was so sweet and promised that it would be fun. We became fast friends. We started spending a ton of time together hanging out, going drinking and dancing. Well after a while I realized that I was getting way to attached to her. I finally had to stop seeing her as often, because of my growing feelings for her. My husband who is a total doll was very understanding of it all. He really likes her and says he totally understands how I could have feelings for her. I don't feel comfortable letting anyone else tattoo me an dI think this would be a really great thing to do with my best friend before we have to seperate for a while.

When I saw her today I really wanted to just tell her why I had pulled away. She was pretty hurt I heard from some other friends that I sort of just dropped out of her life. So I'm really torn. I feel like I should have some closure on it all and just tell her that I did what I did, because she is a fabulous person and I was totally falling for her. But because I was married I really couldn't act on my feelings. She already knows that I play for all teams so its not going to be a big shock. And honestly I think she had some feelings for me as well. I just hate to leave it with her thinking that she did something wrong or that I was upset with her in some way. She was such a wonderful friend and a really important person in my life for the last few years. I'm going to miss her and I want her to know that I really did appreciate her friendship.

I'm going to talk to my husband about it, because we have a very open relationship and don't hide anything from each other. I would never let anything happen, because I don't want to hurt him. But I don't want him to think that I was doing anything behind his back either. He already knows that I was planning on getting the tattoo done and is totally fine with it. I just want to prepare him if I do this, because I'm sure it will be really emotional.

So would you say something to her? Or should I just give her a hug and tell her that I'll miss her and see her when I come back to town to visit?

 

[Liesje]

Russty, I'm sorry you have to move. It's really cool you have such an open, honest relationship with your husband.

I would tell your friend how you feel, though I'm not sure how. Like you said, even if it hurts you and her, it's good to have some amount of closure and know that even if things can't work out for you two, you were honest with each other.

 

[redhotswami]

Hey Russty, that is such a tough bind
Honestly, when it comes to things like this, I work best when I just go right in and start talking. Trying to plan out what I want to say just stirs too much anxiety. Just go there, look her in the eyes, and pour out your heart. Tell her everything you feel inspired to, don't hold anything back.

If you don't tell her, it will haunt you forever that you hurt her feelings and disappeared. And that is an even worse feeling

good luck!

 

[Habib]

a feeling so much stronger than a thought....

ahem

 

[Lila64]

I would tell her, but I don't know how. If you are comfortable doing it in person, than do so. If not, maybe handwrite her a letter.

(I probably suck at advice )

 

[Russty Cat]

Thanks you guys for the adivce. I was supposed to see her last week, but I got the damn flu. When I called her to tell her that I wouldn't be there she was incredibly sweet as usual and I swear I was swooning. Its horrible how easy I am.

I think I've decided that if I'm going to tell her it should be in person. I need to take some designs to her for the tattoo we are having done. I'm thinking about doing it around closing time so then I can ask her if she has a moment to step outside to talk. I figure all I can do is lay it out there and hope that she understands why I did what I did. I'm hoping we can hug and part as friends so that I can see her when I come back to town for a visit.

 

[BonosBaby12]

Good luck Russty

 

[Chizip]

was there a happy ending?

 

[Angela Harlem]

chizip!

...so, russty? was there?





I reckon honesty's always the best policy. it's what makes life so difficult. but also sets things right. that somehow balances in the end apparently. dunno how, yet.