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Old 02-23-2008, 09:40 PM   #721
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Quote:
Originally posted by Axver


Oh, you missed that part of the thread. Kate is my American ex-girlfriend who now lives here in Australia and we're still good friends and go to the same university.

And to avoid confusion, Khan is Katie.
You've had a girlfriend????















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Old 02-23-2008, 09:41 PM   #722
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Quote:
Originally posted by Alisaura

You asked for it!


A guy is walking down the street one day... he sees another guy walking towards him with a cucumber in his ear.
The first guy stops the second guy and says, "Excuse me, but you have a cucumber in your ear."
The second guy stops and says "Sorry, I can't hear you. I have a cucumber in my ear."



The best thing about this joke is watching people's reactions when they hear it. It's a bit pointless online, I guess.
... that's just so bad, you've got to laugh.

Alright, now time for my joke. Well, Liam told it to me. Who knows where he got it. It's the worst joke I've ever heard.

Q: Why did Hitler commit suicide?





A: Because he saw the gas bill.
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Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 02-23-2008, 09:41 PM   #723
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Quote:
Originally posted by Screwtape2


You win.
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:42 PM   #724
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Phoenetically it is. I was going by phoenetics. Phail isn't a word when you spell it that way. But if you said it, it would be a word, because we'd imagine it with an "f". Schmail, however, fails on all levels. Because it's not even a word when you say it.
If you say it, it's a word.

it may not be an officially sanctioned, safely approved word, but you gotta live on the edge sometimes...
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:42 PM   #725
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Quote:
Originally posted by the tourist


You've had a girlfriend????















For over 2 years!

Not that we ever did anything you'd approve of.
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 02-23-2008, 09:43 PM   #726
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Quote:
Originally posted by the tourist
You made fun of me for liking Arctic Monkeys.
And rightly so.

*points and laughs some more*

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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 02-23-2008, 09:43 PM   #727
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Quote:
Originally posted by Alisaura

If you say it, it's a word.

it may not be an officially sanctioned, safely approved word, but you gotta live on the edge sometimes...
Is he renting an upstairs room now?
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:43 PM   #728
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Quote:
Originally posted by Alisaura

Also, "phail" is not a word either...
Interference seems entirely convinced it's a word. Which is rare. Interference is never entirely convinced of much.
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 02-23-2008, 09:43 PM   #729
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Quote:
Originally posted by Axver
Q: Why did Hitler commit suicicde?

A: Because he saw the gas bill.
.... Argh.





Not funny. Must not laugh.
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:44 PM   #730
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Quote:
Originally posted by Axver


And rightly so.

*points and laughs some more*

They've got some really fun pop tunes. Like early Beatles stuff.
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:45 PM   #731
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Quote:
Originally posted by the tourist
Is he renting an upstairs room now?
Well, it'd be a downstairs room if you were living over him...

Or if you wanted to be literal you could mow a clear patch on his chest and set up camp if you wanted.


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Old 02-23-2008, 09:45 PM   #732
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Quote:
Originally posted by Alisaura

.... Argh.





Not funny. Must not laugh.
I LOVE watching peoples' reactions to that. I told it to my family at Christmas dinner last year. We'd popped our Christmas crackers and read all of the terrible lame jokes in them, and I happened to remark that I knew an absolutely horrible one. So I told it. There was silence at the table for a couple of seconds as they processed it, and then you could see something click and the most awkward laughter, like they didn't want to laugh but couldn't help it. I was in stitches at the sight of it!
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 02-23-2008, 09:46 PM   #733
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Quote:
Originally posted by the tourist
They've got some really fun pop tunes. Like early Beatles stuff.
You say that like it's a good thing.

(Where's Khan to back me up when I need her?)
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 02-23-2008, 09:47 PM   #734
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Quote:
Originally posted by Axver


... that's just so bad, you've got to laugh.

Alright, now time for my joke. Well, Liam told it to me. Who knows where he got it. It's the worst joke I've ever heard.

Q: Why did Hitler commit suicide?





A: Because he saw the gas bill.
at both jokes.

Terrible.
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:47 PM   #735
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Now I've got more washing to hang up. Because I am having a productive day. Rock the fuck on.

I've said 'fuck' entirely too fuckin' much throughout these threads, I know.
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Gig pictures | Blog
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:48 PM   #736
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The cucumber joke is good for spotting the people who laugh sycophantically before actually thinking about the joke... cos it's not funny at all, really. You can see them trying to find something amusing in it, but there's nothing there.
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:48 PM   #737
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Quote:
Originally posted by Alisaura

Well, it'd be a downstairs room if you were living over him...

Or if you wanted to be literal you could mow a clear patch on his chest and set up camp if you wanted.


Cultural difference. I meant renting out a room. When it's known a person owns a house, we'll generally leave out out.
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:48 PM   #738
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I've finished making the bed.

Even though the floor is a tip, a freshly made bed makes a room seem tidier.
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:49 PM   #739
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Originally posted by coolian2
I've finished making the bed.

Even though the floor is a tip, a freshly made bed makes a room seem tidier.
Are you going to wind up as a butler?
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Old 02-23-2008, 09:49 PM   #740
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Cultural difference. I meant renting out a room. When it's known a person owns a house, we'll generally leave out out.
Arr....
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