Does anyone have a guitar tab from when U2 covered won't get fooled again?

[the tourist]

Oh, you missed that part of the thread. Kate is my American ex-girlfriend who now lives here in Australia and we're still good friends and go to the same university.

And to avoid confusion, Khan is Katie.

You've had a girlfriend????

 

[Axver]

You asked for it!


A guy is walking down the street one day... he sees another guy walking towards him with a cucumber in his ear.
The first guy stops the second guy and says, "Excuse me, but you have a cucumber in your ear."
The second guy stops and says "Sorry, I can't hear you. I have a cucumber in my ear."



The best thing about this joke is watching people's reactions when they hear it. It's a bit pointless online, I guess.

... that's just so bad, you've got to laugh.

Alright, now time for my joke. Well, Liam told it to me. Who knows where he got it. It's the worst joke I've ever heard.

Q: Why did Hitler commit suicide?





A: Because he saw the gas bill.

 

[the tourist]

You win.

 

[Alisaura]

Phoenetically it is. I was going by phoenetics. Phail isn't a word when you spell it that way. But if you said it, it would be a word, because we'd imagine it with an "f". Schmail, however, fails on all levels. Because it's not even a word when you say it.

If you say it, it's a word.

it may not be an officially sanctioned, safely approved word, but you gotta live on the edge sometimes...

 

[Axver]

You've had a girlfriend????

For over 2 years!

Not that we ever did anything you'd approve of.

 

[Axver]

You made fun of me for liking Arctic Monkeys.

And rightly so.

*points and laughs some more*

 

[the tourist]

If you say it, it's a word.

it may not be an officially sanctioned, safely approved word, but you gotta live on the edge sometimes...

Is he renting an upstairs room now?

 

[Axver]

Also, "phail" is not a word either...

Interference seems entirely convinced it's a word. Which is rare. Interference is never entirely convinced of much.

 

[Alisaura]

Q: Why did Hitler commit suicicde?

A: Because he saw the gas bill.

.... Argh.





Not funny. Must not laugh.

 

[the tourist]

And rightly so.

*points and laughs some more*

They've got some really fun pop tunes. Like early Beatles stuff.

 

[Alisaura]

Is he renting an upstairs room now?

Well, it'd be a downstairs room if you were living over him...

Or if you wanted to be literal you could mow a clear patch on his chest and set up camp if you wanted.

 

[Axver]

.... Argh.





Not funny. Must not laugh.

I LOVE watching peoples' reactions to that. I told it to my family at Christmas dinner last year. We'd popped our Christmas crackers and read all of the terrible lame jokes in them, and I happened to remark that I knew an absolutely horrible one. So I told it. There was silence at the table for a couple of seconds as they processed it, and then you could see something click and the most awkward laughter, like they didn't want to laugh but couldn't help it. I was in stitches at the sight of it!

 

[Axver]

They've got some really fun pop tunes. Like early Beatles stuff.

You say that like it's a good thing.

(Where's Khan to back me up when I need her?)

 

[coolian2]

... that's just so bad, you've got to laugh.

Alright, now time for my joke. Well, Liam told it to me. Who knows where he got it. It's the worst joke I've ever heard.

Q: Why did Hitler commit suicide?





A: Because he saw the gas bill.

at both jokes.

Terrible.

 

[Axver]

Now I've got more washing to hang up. Because I am having a productive day. Rock the fuck on.

I've said 'fuck' entirely too fuckin' much throughout these threads, I know.

 

[Alisaura]

The cucumber joke is good for spotting the people who laugh sycophantically before actually thinking about the joke... cos it's not funny at all, really. You can see them trying to find something amusing in it, but there's nothing there.

 

[the tourist]

Well, it'd be a downstairs room if you were living over him...

Or if you wanted to be literal you could mow a clear patch on his chest and set up camp if you wanted.

Cultural difference. I meant renting out a room. When it's known a person owns a house, we'll generally leave out out.

 

[coolian2]

I've finished making the bed.

Even though the floor is a tip, a freshly made bed makes a room seem tidier.

 

[the tourist]

I've finished making the bed.

Even though the floor is a tip, a freshly made bed makes a room seem tidier.

Are you going to wind up as a butler?

 

[Alisaura]

Cultural difference. I meant renting out a room. When it's known a person owns a house, we'll generally leave out out.

Arr....

 

[mysterious_jen]

phew- i got dressed, vaccumed, mopped cleaned the bathrooms including the shower fed my lizard and did my fishtanks

 

[coolian2]

Are you going to wind up as a butler?

My name is Ian, not Jeeves.

I'm capable of domestic tasks though...any woman should love me.

 

[Screwtape2]

phew- i got dressed, vaccumed, mopped cleaned the bathrooms including the shower fed my lizard and did my fishtanks

What kind of lizard?

 

[the tourist]

phew- i got dressed, vaccumed, mopped cleaned the bathrooms including the shower fed my lizard and did my fishtanks

Someone's being productive with their time. Wouldn't laying on your back be better?

 

[mysterious_jen]

What kind of lizard?

shingle back

 

[the tourist]

My name is Ian, not Jeeves.

I'm capable of domestic tasks though...any woman should love me.

I'm sure women will. It'll just take the time for you to find the right one.

 

[mysterious_jen]

Someone's being productive with their time. Wouldn't laying on your back be better?

did plenty of that with you last night


i had to do a few things other than be a dirty girl alllll weekend.

 

[Alisaura]

Lizards are awesome.

*considers getting off her butt and doing something... anything*

 

[Screwtape2]

shingle back

Cool. It is common for Aussie's to have lizards?

 

[the tourist]

did plenty of that with you last night


i had to do a few things other than be a dirty girl alllll weekend.

Was I asleep? I don't remember climbing onto you.