Without Bono, Paddy is nothing -- and he knows it
We are returning to a time when our fate is inextricably entwined with that of U2, writes Declan Lynch
Sunday January 25 2009
It would be wrong to think that there was no direct benefit for Paddy in the inauguration of Obama. After all, U2 performed at the pre-inauguration concert, and U2 will almost certainly be the only Irish business to make a profit in 2009. A very big profit, no doubt, with a new album due and a world tour to follow.
And let's get one thing straight here: it is absurd to suggest that the release of the new U2 single was timed to coincide with the inauguration of the President of the United States.
These days, it is far more likely that the inauguration of the President of the United States will be timed to coincide with the release of the new U2 single.
And for poor old Paddy there must be some encouragement in the fact that U2 is not just the only business that will make a profit in 2009, and probably next year and the year after that, it was also making a profit in 1999, and in 1989, and possibly even in 1979.
So it seems that we are back where we started, with the only Irish guys who actually know how the world works.
Not only have they achieved the remarkable feat of making money before, during, and after the Celtic Tiger, they have also apparently managed to hold on to it -- we didn't see Bono holding the microphone at the Mansion House, asking questions about Anglo Irish Bank.
We won't be seeing the lads getting wiped out by some Ponzi scheme anytime soon.
But we did see them on stage with Obama, and for all Irish people, good and bad, this was quite a relief. The way things have panned out for us, we are looking once more to U2 to embody our version of the trickle-down theory. What is good for them is good for Paddy.
Once more, they have become a vital national
interest. Once more, they have become perhaps our only national interest.
And in this volatile environment it is now virtually a matter of plain fact that to talk down the new U2 single, and especially the new U2 album, is to talk down the economy.
"Fantastic" was the reported verdict of Neil McCormick of The Telegraph on hearing the latest material, and since I don't think we'll do better than "fantastic", let that good word go out to all the peoples of the world: fantastic.
In recent years we had become quite lackadaisical about U2, even feeling free to disrespect them the way we used to find fault with albums by Thin Lizzy, little realising what was waiting for us further on up the road.
Enough of that, it is just another little luxury that we can't afford any more.
That time is over, and young people in particular should be made aware that the Irish -- and that means all of us -- are now returning to a time when our fate is inextricably entwined with that of "four Irish boys from the northside of Dublin".
A couple of years ago, when Paddy was still a bit cocky, he'd be quibbling with the factual accuracy of that line. He'd be jeering that two of the boys are not Irish by birth; that they are hardly "boys" either, since Bono is now older than Obama himself; and that they may be from the geographical "northside", but they are not "northsiders" as that term is rightly understood.
So Paddy would be laughing to himself, suggesting that it might be as truthful for Bono to be introducing the band to Obama as "four international industrialists from the South of France".
But Paddy isn't laughing anymore. He knows that he needs Bono up there, saying whatever the hell he needs to say to get the job done.
Paddy knows what Paddy has done -- essentially, since around the time of Zooropa, Paddy scooped the equivalent of a massive compo payout. And despite his protestations of competence and even brilliance, he has done what Paddy has traditionally done in these circumstances -- he has spent it on drinking and gambling and he has added a few new-fangled perversions, such as small-bore shooting in Estonia. And the rest, he has wasted.
Paddy knows this, and he figures that Bono knows this too; Bono who actually worked hard for his money and put it into savings and wise investments. Remember the mockery when U2 moved assets from Ireland to Holland? You'll hear no mockery now.
But Paddy also knows that Bono won't let him down. When he's asked to explain what happened to poor Paddy, he'll steer clear of the dismal truth and he'll find the right words as always -- perhaps in his new column in the New York Times.
Yes, Paddy rejoices in this, in any situation in which Bono is doing well for himself. But with this comes the old anxiety.
Certainly the pre-inauguration gig was all about Bono, but on the inauguration day itself, Paddy found himself getting increasingly vexed.
Where could Bono be?
The former presidents could be seen arriving, but where was Bono?
The Joint Chiefs of Staff could be seen, but, strangely, no sign of Bono.
There was a bit of classical played, a song from Aretha Franklin but, inexplicably, Bono was nowhere to be seen.
Eventually, the President and the First Lady got into the big black limo, sans Bono.
For Paddy these were troubling scenes indeed. Because if Bono is not in the frame, from where Paddy is sitting it now follows that Paddy is not in the frame either.
But at the end of a long and worrying day, he was heartened by the announcement on RTE that the Prime Time coverage would feature Seamus Heaney ... and Bono.
Fantastic.
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