-Here's a few words of wisdom:
-You can't miss what you never had.
-No good deed goes unpunished.
-When you go to bed drunk, take a couple of aspirin and your chances of waking up hungover will be greatly reduced.
-If you're out and have to do Number 2, always use a courteousy flush. Remember: Stop, drop and flush!
and finally:
-The only thing that's for sure is that nothing's for sure.