Hallucination said:
What if it has nothing to do with values though? I mean what if you don't really know yourself? That's the hard part for me. I don't really know why. Alot of the times I wish I could go back and not be a virgin. I'll be honest I have dated girls before who I would have gladly furthered the relationship with but for various reasons it never got to that point. Then again there are lots of times I'm proud of it too. It does show self respect and respect towards women as well I think but I wish I could pin point my reasoning for still being virgin at 27. I think that;s what makes me nervous or even slightly insecure about people knowing. If I had a strong reasoning for it it'd be easier for me and I honestly think easier for the women I date to understand and respect.
On a side note I love this thread. I'm glad I made it. yeah that's me tooting my own horn.
I think you just need to accept yourself on this one, Hallucination.
Don't let other people, who make a big deal about it, influence yourself. Don't put yourself down - you've made the decision to stay a virgin, so be proud of it. If you really wanted to have sex, it's not that hard to get. I mean, if you were really bad off, you could pay a hooker or something
Which you could still do, but.... I'd much rather advocate sharing it with someone you like, or feel close to, or whatever you really want, honestly.
I genuninely understand your uneasyness about the subject. But... aside from my own personal views.... (have I told this story before? ohwell, I'll sayit again)
My (great?) uncle, Uncle ..... um.......
wow, I forgot his name
.... well, anyways, the pointis, he was, and still is to some extent, the ultimate ladies man. He has a verydominant, aggressiver personality, and I've only met him 3 or 4 times in my life. Needless to say, he's had a lot of dealings with women andsex and different sorts of relationships.
His advice to me about the subject was: Don't worry about girls.
This might seem odd, coming from a guy who's spent the majority ofhisl life chasing down, and getting, women, but he explained it alittle further: there will always be women, and time for women later on in life. Focus on your school, and on other things that are more important, as opposed to just looking for sex.
Coming from someone like him, that meant a lot. And although I never really considered it, I guess that is what I'm doing now.
ANyway.... moral of the story is: don't worry about being a virgin.