(347): k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
(904): my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I love period boobs
(306): This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
(416): when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
(320): so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
(321): You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
(912): I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
(843): i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
(206): I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.