phanan
Blue Crack Addict
DaveC said:
So much for that, huh?
NFL Thread Part Three, Take Two
- Thread starter Headache in a Suitcase
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So much for that, huh?
phanan
Blue Crack Addict
U2Kitten said:
What's with this?
You were welcomed here. You received stinging criticism not because you hated the Patriots, but for the reasons you gave. You used reasoning and examples that, quite honestly, did not make any sense. You don't like Brady as a person, fine, but don't sit here and give us bogus reasons as to why Brady doesn't deserve this or why he is a terrible quarterback. If you have good, well thought-out criticism, that's one thing, but making absurd comments like you have done led to this, not the other way around.
But is this even a surprise to you? Given Sicy's comments in the other thread, it seems that you are like this elsewhere on this forum. Is your sole purpose here to simply aggravate people? Because that's how it appears. Please don't try to blame others for your own actions.
phanan said:
Yes, I knew that was going to be read that way, and I PMd her telling her I didn't like it for that reason. For the record, I am banned from FYM, because I disagree with Pax's views and I wouldn't back down and she hates me for it. I am no trouble at all on PLEBA, I have a lot of friends and no enemies there. I was afraid that comment would be construed to assume bad things about me, and it was. That is the only reason I even posted here again. I totally resent being blamed for anything here since there are several others who are equally as 'aggravating.'
The point is, I really don't like you guys, and you really don't like me. I will try to find another message board elsewhere in which to discuss sports, and use this one for hot Bono pics and discussion .
BTW I turned off the game after Peyton was sacked at the 2. I had no idea what else went down until a few minutes ago. If I had seen that, I really wouldn't have ever posted here again, because I'd have been dead of 2 heart attacks.
Goodbye again!
popacrobat
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
U2Kitten said:
what a great fan, didn't even watch the whole game.
OP
OP
aaand that brings our total "i will never post here again" posts up to three...
who wants to try for four? eh? eh? eh?
i do not "not like you." i don't know you. you're an annonymous person on a message board that types silly posts about how tom brady is a bad person because he throws his water bottle.
now if you'll excuse me...
ok, i too just threw my water ball. i guess that now makes me satan.
if you had a reason for the complete sillyness of some of your reasons why tom brady was a poopy pants, then, perhaps, we could debate them like logical human beings. but, alas, you do not.
i make tons of silly posts... but they're silly 'cause that was the point... or i was drunk at the time. you're neither trying to be silly or drunk... i'm guessing. i could be wrong.
there is no mass conspiracy against you... oliver stone will not be making any movies about you... you simply seem to think that anyone who disagrees with your opinions is picking on you...
or maybe... just maybe... i don't know, this might seem craaaaaaazy, but maybe the fact that you're outnumbered about 100 to 1, and even those who like the colts and dislike the pats have tried numerous times to tell you that your brady rants are making you sound like a jelous 5th grader on the playground, should be a hint... WE ARE NOT PICKING ON YOU, YOUR POSTS ARE BRINGING IT UPON YOURSELF.
i used to make silly stupid posts about my hatred for the red sox. now, i still do hate them... with a passion... but i began to realize that the stupidity was getting nowhere, and that it was just that.. stupid. baisicly all of the put 'em under pressure regulars all called me on being stupid. were they picking on me? no... they were stating the truth. so now i reserve my nonsensical angry rants for only when i end up making the occasional drunk post.
you spoke about how tom brady wasn't a good sport and didn't deserve to be sportsman of the year... and now, the day of/after the colts blow a game that was fucking handed to them on a silver platter with a bow on top, you all of a sudden don't want to post here anymore... just like last year... just like what so many people had predicted. frankly, you're not practicing what you preach. you are being a very sore loser.
you seem to always talk about "luck" in your reasons why the pats are good. you even quoted NFL films in your ongoing quest to prove that "sometimes it's better to be lucky than good." well quite frankly, that line is just that... a line... and it's full of shit. NFL films says that lambeau field is a "frozen tundra," but that's just a saying too... it's not actually a tundra. but maybe you haven't figured that one out, either.
being luckly doesn't make bad teams good. luck only matters when a team is great to begin with. you can be the luckiest team in the world, but if you suck, the luck really doesn't matter now, does it.
the colts got EVERY single bullshit call they could possiably have gotten yesterday... and they lost anyway. why? because peyton manning simply is not as good in a big spot as he is durring the regular season. you have to say it now. i've been one of peyton's biggest supporters on this board, but it has to be said now. he's the leader, he's baisicly the friggin offensive coordinator, and his teams consistantly fall up short in a big spot. tons of reasons have been given... the refs screwed them... the pats DBs play dirty... if it was in indianapolis it would be different... damned snow... tom brady is satan... the pats are lucky... one team figures someting out and then every other team can then figure it out...blah blah fricken blah.
well, the colts got every break, the game was in indy, and the patriots were heading to the golf course... and they still fucking lost. eventually we're gonna have to call a spade a spade... peyton is bad in a big spot. he never won in college, and he's still never won in the NFL. it's not a co-inkiy-dink anymore... it'a a pattern.
and as for it being the chargers fault because they figured it out and then the rest of the league got game tape and figure out what the chargers did? give me a friggin break... if that's all it takes to beat the colts and peyton manning than the colts really aren't that good now are they? read and react... make adjustments on the fly. that entire job is left up to peyton... and in the playoffs he consistantly makes the wrong decisions. perhaps it's time to get a real offensiver coordinator and end this constant audible garbage.
so to sum it up... all the luck in the world won't help you if your quarterback craps himself in every big game he's ever been in. that is the difference between peyton manning and tom brady. peyton manning is a better quarterback, skill wise. but tom brady is simply a better winner, and seeing as winning is the point, uhh... yea.
herm edwards told us that you play to win the game. he must be right. he was traded for a draft pick.
and finally... there's one subject that normally gets me quite fired up, and that subject would be 9/11. and i was oh so ready to launch into a tirade against you for your statements, which you seem to believe, that the patriots winning the super bowl was some sort of mass conspiracy meant to make the country feel better after 9/11. but i won't go into that tirade... because you're simply not worth it. because if you had any sort of clue as to what you were talking about, you would know that a large number of new yorkers... i.e. jet fans... despite the patriots. and hey, the giants colors are red white and blue also. so if there really was some grand conspiracy... wouldn't it have involved at least one new york team? wouldn't that make a bit of sense?
silly.
goodbye, and good riddance. don't come harrasing me in mr. pussy.
who wants to try for four? eh? eh? eh?
i do not "not like you." i don't know you. you're an annonymous person on a message board that types silly posts about how tom brady is a bad person because he throws his water bottle.
now if you'll excuse me...
ok, i too just threw my water ball. i guess that now makes me satan.
if you had a reason for the complete sillyness of some of your reasons why tom brady was a poopy pants, then, perhaps, we could debate them like logical human beings. but, alas, you do not.
i make tons of silly posts... but they're silly 'cause that was the point... or i was drunk at the time. you're neither trying to be silly or drunk... i'm guessing. i could be wrong.
there is no mass conspiracy against you... oliver stone will not be making any movies about you... you simply seem to think that anyone who disagrees with your opinions is picking on you...
or maybe... just maybe... i don't know, this might seem craaaaaaazy, but maybe the fact that you're outnumbered about 100 to 1, and even those who like the colts and dislike the pats have tried numerous times to tell you that your brady rants are making you sound like a jelous 5th grader on the playground, should be a hint... WE ARE NOT PICKING ON YOU, YOUR POSTS ARE BRINGING IT UPON YOURSELF.
i used to make silly stupid posts about my hatred for the red sox. now, i still do hate them... with a passion... but i began to realize that the stupidity was getting nowhere, and that it was just that.. stupid. baisicly all of the put 'em under pressure regulars all called me on being stupid. were they picking on me? no... they were stating the truth. so now i reserve my nonsensical angry rants for only when i end up making the occasional drunk post.
you spoke about how tom brady wasn't a good sport and didn't deserve to be sportsman of the year... and now, the day of/after the colts blow a game that was fucking handed to them on a silver platter with a bow on top, you all of a sudden don't want to post here anymore... just like last year... just like what so many people had predicted. frankly, you're not practicing what you preach. you are being a very sore loser.
you seem to always talk about "luck" in your reasons why the pats are good. you even quoted NFL films in your ongoing quest to prove that "sometimes it's better to be lucky than good." well quite frankly, that line is just that... a line... and it's full of shit. NFL films says that lambeau field is a "frozen tundra," but that's just a saying too... it's not actually a tundra. but maybe you haven't figured that one out, either.
being luckly doesn't make bad teams good. luck only matters when a team is great to begin with. you can be the luckiest team in the world, but if you suck, the luck really doesn't matter now, does it.
the colts got EVERY single bullshit call they could possiably have gotten yesterday... and they lost anyway. why? because peyton manning simply is not as good in a big spot as he is durring the regular season. you have to say it now. i've been one of peyton's biggest supporters on this board, but it has to be said now. he's the leader, he's baisicly the friggin offensive coordinator, and his teams consistantly fall up short in a big spot. tons of reasons have been given... the refs screwed them... the pats DBs play dirty... if it was in indianapolis it would be different... damned snow... tom brady is satan... the pats are lucky... one team figures someting out and then every other team can then figure it out...blah blah fricken blah.
well, the colts got every break, the game was in indy, and the patriots were heading to the golf course... and they still fucking lost. eventually we're gonna have to call a spade a spade... peyton is bad in a big spot. he never won in college, and he's still never won in the NFL. it's not a co-inkiy-dink anymore... it'a a pattern.
and as for it being the chargers fault because they figured it out and then the rest of the league got game tape and figure out what the chargers did? give me a friggin break... if that's all it takes to beat the colts and peyton manning than the colts really aren't that good now are they? read and react... make adjustments on the fly. that entire job is left up to peyton... and in the playoffs he consistantly makes the wrong decisions. perhaps it's time to get a real offensiver coordinator and end this constant audible garbage.
so to sum it up... all the luck in the world won't help you if your quarterback craps himself in every big game he's ever been in. that is the difference between peyton manning and tom brady. peyton manning is a better quarterback, skill wise. but tom brady is simply a better winner, and seeing as winning is the point, uhh... yea.
herm edwards told us that you play to win the game. he must be right. he was traded for a draft pick.
and finally... there's one subject that normally gets me quite fired up, and that subject would be 9/11. and i was oh so ready to launch into a tirade against you for your statements, which you seem to believe, that the patriots winning the super bowl was some sort of mass conspiracy meant to make the country feel better after 9/11. but i won't go into that tirade... because you're simply not worth it. because if you had any sort of clue as to what you were talking about, you would know that a large number of new yorkers... i.e. jet fans... despite the patriots. and hey, the giants colors are red white and blue also. so if there really was some grand conspiracy... wouldn't it have involved at least one new york team? wouldn't that make a bit of sense?
silly.
goodbye, and good riddance. don't come harrasing me in mr. pussy.
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popacrobat
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
ljclary said:
It is kinda like when you leave a concert before the lights come on...but then a third encore is played
i stayed for that third encore
StlElevation said:
i stayed for that third encore
That's beacause you are a true fan. Any true fan knows that the game is not over until it is over.As long as there is time on the clock the game is still going on. Headache may poo poo me for bringing this up but look at the Red Sox. They were down to their final out to the Yankees but then came back to win Game 4, and then 5,and then 6, 7 and the World Series.
I didn't turn my TV off when the Pats were losing. I bet Headache didn't leave Giant Stadium early b/c his Bears had no chance. No, I watched the entire, demoralizing game and then turned and said, "Hell at least we came further this year than I thought we would."
Your Colts went 14-2...leave the TV on and applaud them for what they did accomplish...not what they didn't.
Whose on the bandwagon now?
OP
OP
wow francesca just tore peyton a new one... lol. that was funny. he never rips him.
a few comments on the weekend... sometimes it's very easy to show who is a winner and who is a loser... and not neccesarily just because the team wins the game or loses the game...
brian urlacher is a winner... he made a failed attempt at a play that no one will ever talk about again but if he would have been succesful would have became one of the most talked about plays in NFL history... he did something that NO ONE ever does... he tried to force a fumble on a knee. he dove over the offenslive line with reckless abandon, attempting to knock the ball out of delhome's hands before his knee hit the ground... a one in a million shot, but he took it... he was so desperate to win that he made the extra effort to try to give his team just one more chance, not to mention the fact that he played a great game overall.
ben watson is a winner. if that play ends up being reviewed, his run goes down as one of the greatest plays of all time. he ran a good 140 yards to get to that ball, and knocked it out. amazing play, and another one that will long be forgotten, as it should be.
ben roethlisberger is a winner. i've never been a big fan, but i am now. to have the mindset to drop back after handing the ball off just in case of a fumble is simply amazing. maybe he didn't do it on purpose... but he did drop back a good 20 yards after handing the ball off, almost like a point guard dropping back to protect against the fast break in basketball, and if he didn't do that, the colts would have scored a touchdown on that fumble. amazing play.
marvin harrison is a fucking loser and a pussy. in an utterly amazing finish, with his team in a crucial situation, trying desperately to come back and tie or win the game, he's off sulking on the sidelines by himself. THAT is a sore loser. THAT is a pussy. i losed a whole lotta respect for him after that game.
tony dungy seems like he's a great guy, and i feel nothing but sympathy for his loss. but this is a sports forum, so he needs a shot too. he's just not a good post season coach. he was fired from tampa bay, questionably, and then low and behold tampa wins the super bowl the next year under gruden. perhaps tony dungy is the buck showalter of football. and when you add in that peyton loses every big game he's ever been in, and tennessee goes off and wins a national title the next year with tee friggin martin, well hey... that's why this stuff happens.
and i finish the weekend on this note, on exactly why brady is a better big game QB than peyton. i'm stealing this from mike francesa but it's 100% right. saturday night, the denver broncos brought every blitz in the book at tom brady. he stood there in the pocket, he made his throws, and he got absolutely hammered quite a few times for it. the steelers bring the house sunday afternoon, and peyton starts shifting out of the pocket, short arming the ball, throwing sidearmed, etc. etc. that's it right there... that's why brady has 3 rings and manning has 0. brady will stay in the pocket and take his hits... manning won't, and then he went off and blamed his offensive line after the game. you're supposed to be this big offensive genius who calls his own plays and all but you can't even pick up a blitz without bailing out of the pocket like a pansy ass. i'd say that mike vanderjagt was right when he called peyton a pansy a few years ago, but then he goes and misses a 47 yard field goal by about 85 yards.
and now it's on to conference championship sunday.
oh... just one more thing. hewson will be happy to know that he's been right all this time... and i will never pick the colts to win the super bowl again. ever.
a few comments on the weekend... sometimes it's very easy to show who is a winner and who is a loser... and not neccesarily just because the team wins the game or loses the game...
brian urlacher is a winner... he made a failed attempt at a play that no one will ever talk about again but if he would have been succesful would have became one of the most talked about plays in NFL history... he did something that NO ONE ever does... he tried to force a fumble on a knee. he dove over the offenslive line with reckless abandon, attempting to knock the ball out of delhome's hands before his knee hit the ground... a one in a million shot, but he took it... he was so desperate to win that he made the extra effort to try to give his team just one more chance, not to mention the fact that he played a great game overall.
ben watson is a winner. if that play ends up being reviewed, his run goes down as one of the greatest plays of all time. he ran a good 140 yards to get to that ball, and knocked it out. amazing play, and another one that will long be forgotten, as it should be.
ben roethlisberger is a winner. i've never been a big fan, but i am now. to have the mindset to drop back after handing the ball off just in case of a fumble is simply amazing. maybe he didn't do it on purpose... but he did drop back a good 20 yards after handing the ball off, almost like a point guard dropping back to protect against the fast break in basketball, and if he didn't do that, the colts would have scored a touchdown on that fumble. amazing play.
marvin harrison is a fucking loser and a pussy. in an utterly amazing finish, with his team in a crucial situation, trying desperately to come back and tie or win the game, he's off sulking on the sidelines by himself. THAT is a sore loser. THAT is a pussy. i losed a whole lotta respect for him after that game.
tony dungy seems like he's a great guy, and i feel nothing but sympathy for his loss. but this is a sports forum, so he needs a shot too. he's just not a good post season coach. he was fired from tampa bay, questionably, and then low and behold tampa wins the super bowl the next year under gruden. perhaps tony dungy is the buck showalter of football. and when you add in that peyton loses every big game he's ever been in, and tennessee goes off and wins a national title the next year with tee friggin martin, well hey... that's why this stuff happens.
and i finish the weekend on this note, on exactly why brady is a better big game QB than peyton. i'm stealing this from mike francesa but it's 100% right. saturday night, the denver broncos brought every blitz in the book at tom brady. he stood there in the pocket, he made his throws, and he got absolutely hammered quite a few times for it. the steelers bring the house sunday afternoon, and peyton starts shifting out of the pocket, short arming the ball, throwing sidearmed, etc. etc. that's it right there... that's why brady has 3 rings and manning has 0. brady will stay in the pocket and take his hits... manning won't, and then he went off and blamed his offensive line after the game. you're supposed to be this big offensive genius who calls his own plays and all but you can't even pick up a blitz without bailing out of the pocket like a pansy ass. i'd say that mike vanderjagt was right when he called peyton a pansy a few years ago, but then he goes and misses a 47 yard field goal by about 85 yards.
and now it's on to conference championship sunday.
oh... just one more thing. hewson will be happy to know that he's been right all this time... and i will never pick the colts to win the super bowl again. ever.
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OP
OP
Hey Peyton, Need Some Help?
By DJ Gallo
Special to Page 2
There are some people who will call Peyton Manning the dreaded "C" word today. Yeah … "choker." But calling him a choker simply isn't fair, because Peyton Manning is far more than someone who fails when it counts year after year after year.
For instance, he's also someone who throws his teammates under the bus, which -- it goes without saying -- is something every quarterback and team leader should try to do whenever possible. (Are you listening, Tom Brady? This is why you don't set regular season passing records! You need to be less of a team player!) Or not.
By now I'm sure you've all heard or read about Manning's postgame comments Sunday, in which he said: "I'm trying to be a good teammate here … let's just say we had some problems with protection."
Sure, it may sound as though Manning stabbed his linemen in the back -- or in the knee, in the Colts' case -- but I say cut him some slack. The guy is frustrated about coming up short every season. All I want for him is to learn from his mistakes and take more responsibility for his own failings when the Colts are inevitably eliminated next season.
That's why I've put together a few team-friendly alternatives he can use the next time he hears the words, "I'm trying to be a good teammate here" come out of his mouth. I'm hopeful they'll be of use to him.
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so I'll try to imagine what it's like to be imperfect."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so I'm going to buy my liquored-up, idiot kicker an entire case of vodka."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so I'll consider retaining Tony Dungy as my associate head coach next season."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so I'm taking the whole team on tour with Kenny Chesney."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so I won't ask my daddy to get my offensive line traded."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so next year I might even run a play or two that my offensive coordinator calls."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so I'm going to let Tee Martin start for me in the playoffs from now on."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … but instead I'll just be myself."
Headlines That Are Probably in Newspapers This Morning …
Washington: "Redskins left to wonder if Week 2 watercooler dousing of Joe Gibbs was perhaps a bit premature"
Seattle: "Here's a [expletive deleted] surprise: Rain in forecast for NFC title game"
New England: "Quite frankly, Tom Brady is apparently not all the Patriots need"
Denver: "Shanahan still without two playoff game victories since Elway retired"
Charlotte: "Delhomme shot with high-powered tranquilizer dart to calm him down for flight home"
Chicago: "Lack of playoff neck beard dooms Grossman"
Pittsburgh: "Broncos ask to play AFC Championship game in Pittsburgh"
Indianapolis: "Vanderjagt, Colts outchoke refs, Bettis in historic choke-off"
Canada: "Ontario native Vanderjagt boots potential game-tying kick aboot 10 yards wide" (Subhead: "Eh")
United States: "Nation waits to learn fate of five offensive linemen thrown under Colts' team bus"
Ten Things I Thought I Thought While Staging a Sit-In at a Starbucks …
1. I can't be positive, but when referee Pete Morelli went under the instant replay hood to look at Troy Polamalu's interception, I bet Paul Tagliabue came on the screen and said: "Yeah, I'm going to need you to overturn this and call it an incompletion, mmkay? See, we really want the Colts to make the Super Bowl, mmkay? So just say he never had possession. Try an explanation with the term 'football move' in it, mmkay? Nobody knows what that means."
2. The NFL should be embarrassed about the quality of the officiating this weekend. How were those guys supposed to be the best crews in the league? And more importantly, where was my main man Eddie Hocks (that's the name we call him at the gym, but it's "Ed Hochuli" to those of you not so blessed in matters bicep)? Somewhere this weekend he was pumping iron, preparing to put the smackdown on every referee who blew a call and sullied the reputation of NFL referees. It will be ugly, and he will show no mercy.
3. Yes, we saw the Peyton Manning Face again, but we also spotted the rebirth of a much rarer face: the Bill Belichick Face. Although residents of Cleveland know that face quite well. (Hey, if it's OK to say Pete Carroll isn't a good coach because of his failings with the Jets and Patriots, it makes just as much sense to say Belichick isn't either due to his far worse results with the Browns.) In fairness though, the Belichick Face doesn't look that much different than the one he shows when the Patriots win the Super Bowl, mainly because he seems able to crush all joy associated with even the greatest accomplishments. It's a mark of the great ones. And the clinically depressed ones.
4. People are always complaining about large corporations. But when they do something positive they should be commended. Take MasterCard for example. Sunday night, after the Colts' loss, it started running a new Peyton Manning "D-CAF" spot showing various bloopers he made during filming. And then the ad closes with the line: "Not being perfect … priceless." Absolutely. Awesome. The fact that they had that cued up waiting for the Colts to lose, well … feel free to raise my interest rate to 29.99 percent, MasterCard. I'll pay anything you ask.
5. Interesting piece of information from, of all people, Tony Siragusa during the Seahawks-Redskins game when he said Washington had prepared all week to play in rain by repeatedly dunking footballs in a bucket of water. What he neglected to share was that Seattle had similarly prepared to face Sean Taylor by … well, you can take it from there.
6. Speaking of commercials, I also like that NFL apparel one with the line: "All you need is passion … and a torso." It always reminds me of the requirements the Bears' franchise has for its quarterbacks.
7. DeShaun Foster's broken ankle was first reported as a high ankle sprain during the game Sunday. And if you're keeping track like I am, that's now 3,684,214 athletes reported to have high ankle sprains, with the much rarer low ankle sprain still lagging behind at zero.
8. This Matt Hasselbeck-Jake Delhomme matchup in the NFC Championship game could be awesome. Both of them are a wee bit excitable, to say the least. I can just imagine their teammates with them in the huddle near the end of a tight game with a trip to the Super Bowl on the line: "Come on … sound it out … tell us the play. Just one word at a time. You can do it. Just breathe deep. Come on. You need to stop shaking and tell us the play. Let's go now … relax. Baby steps. Just say a word. Say a word. Say a word. Say anything. Grunt even. Ah, great … the play clock ran out again."
9. Next week will be the first time in five years that the conference championship round will be Eagles and Patriots-free. Which is a shame, really. I never felt as though we got to hear enough about those two teams. They kind of flew under the radar a bit on us, didn't they? But as disastrous as Philadelphia's season was this year, it must be nice for the Eagles to experience the month of January without being weighed down with an overwhelming sense of impending doom.
10. I pull absolutely zero weight in the sports media world, but is it too much for me to ask that this week's AFC Championship quarterback matchup between Jake Plummer and Ben Roethlisberger be officially dubbed the Beard Bowl? And, more importantly, that the winner be given Katie Holmes for a week? I feel I've earned that much.
Conference Championship Previews
I'm 7-1 against the spread so far this postseason, y'all. Quite frankly, I'm all you need. (If what you need for some unknown reason is to eventually go bankrupt.)
Carolina at Seattle
A heavy rain begins falling at kickoff, and a particularly large drop knocks Shaun Alexander out of action with another concussion. And, Carolina's Steve Smith is left essentially useless as well, struggling to run in the waist-high water. With their only offensive weapon held in check, the Panthers lose, sending the Seahawks to the Super Bowl. (Which in turn, unfortunately, triggers the Apocalypse.) Seahawks 20, Panthers 17.
Pittsburgh at Denver
Convinced by Joey Porter's mid-week comments that play-action is "cowardly," the Broncos' offense struggles throughout the game. They are able to stay within striking distance, however, due to three Troy Polamalu interceptions that are overturned thanks to an obscure NFL rule requiring an interceptor to possess the ball for at least 75 seconds if he has long hair. Steelers 27, Broncos 17.
R.I.P. Patriots Dynasty
And finally, it wouldn't be right to finish this column without congratulating the Patriots for their remarkable run, while at the same time bidding adieu to their dynasty.
Patriots Dynasty, 4, of New England, died January 14, 2006 at Invesco Field in Denver. Dynasty was born on January 19, 2002 to the Tuck Rule in Foxborough, Mass., and was confirmed weeks later at Super Bowl XXXVI. Surviving are a loving media and a large, but rapidly emptying bandwagon. Services will be held in the form of commemorative books and DVDs. In lieu of flowers, please stop disrespecting them.
DJ Gallo is a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine, as well as the founder and sole writer of the award-winning sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He also contributes headlines to "The Onion."
By DJ Gallo
Special to Page 2
There are some people who will call Peyton Manning the dreaded "C" word today. Yeah … "choker." But calling him a choker simply isn't fair, because Peyton Manning is far more than someone who fails when it counts year after year after year.
For instance, he's also someone who throws his teammates under the bus, which -- it goes without saying -- is something every quarterback and team leader should try to do whenever possible. (Are you listening, Tom Brady? This is why you don't set regular season passing records! You need to be less of a team player!) Or not.
By now I'm sure you've all heard or read about Manning's postgame comments Sunday, in which he said: "I'm trying to be a good teammate here … let's just say we had some problems with protection."
Sure, it may sound as though Manning stabbed his linemen in the back -- or in the knee, in the Colts' case -- but I say cut him some slack. The guy is frustrated about coming up short every season. All I want for him is to learn from his mistakes and take more responsibility for his own failings when the Colts are inevitably eliminated next season.
That's why I've put together a few team-friendly alternatives he can use the next time he hears the words, "I'm trying to be a good teammate here" come out of his mouth. I'm hopeful they'll be of use to him.
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so I'll try to imagine what it's like to be imperfect."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so I'm going to buy my liquored-up, idiot kicker an entire case of vodka."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so I'll consider retaining Tony Dungy as my associate head coach next season."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so I'm taking the whole team on tour with Kenny Chesney."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so I won't ask my daddy to get my offensive line traded."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so next year I might even run a play or two that my offensive coordinator calls."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … so I'm going to let Tee Martin start for me in the playoffs from now on."
"I'm trying to be a good teammate here … but instead I'll just be myself."
Headlines That Are Probably in Newspapers This Morning …
Washington: "Redskins left to wonder if Week 2 watercooler dousing of Joe Gibbs was perhaps a bit premature"
Seattle: "Here's a [expletive deleted] surprise: Rain in forecast for NFC title game"
New England: "Quite frankly, Tom Brady is apparently not all the Patriots need"
Denver: "Shanahan still without two playoff game victories since Elway retired"
Charlotte: "Delhomme shot with high-powered tranquilizer dart to calm him down for flight home"
Chicago: "Lack of playoff neck beard dooms Grossman"
Pittsburgh: "Broncos ask to play AFC Championship game in Pittsburgh"
Indianapolis: "Vanderjagt, Colts outchoke refs, Bettis in historic choke-off"
Canada: "Ontario native Vanderjagt boots potential game-tying kick aboot 10 yards wide" (Subhead: "Eh")
United States: "Nation waits to learn fate of five offensive linemen thrown under Colts' team bus"
Ten Things I Thought I Thought While Staging a Sit-In at a Starbucks …
1. I can't be positive, but when referee Pete Morelli went under the instant replay hood to look at Troy Polamalu's interception, I bet Paul Tagliabue came on the screen and said: "Yeah, I'm going to need you to overturn this and call it an incompletion, mmkay? See, we really want the Colts to make the Super Bowl, mmkay? So just say he never had possession. Try an explanation with the term 'football move' in it, mmkay? Nobody knows what that means."
2. The NFL should be embarrassed about the quality of the officiating this weekend. How were those guys supposed to be the best crews in the league? And more importantly, where was my main man Eddie Hocks (that's the name we call him at the gym, but it's "Ed Hochuli" to those of you not so blessed in matters bicep)? Somewhere this weekend he was pumping iron, preparing to put the smackdown on every referee who blew a call and sullied the reputation of NFL referees. It will be ugly, and he will show no mercy.
3. Yes, we saw the Peyton Manning Face again, but we also spotted the rebirth of a much rarer face: the Bill Belichick Face. Although residents of Cleveland know that face quite well. (Hey, if it's OK to say Pete Carroll isn't a good coach because of his failings with the Jets and Patriots, it makes just as much sense to say Belichick isn't either due to his far worse results with the Browns.) In fairness though, the Belichick Face doesn't look that much different than the one he shows when the Patriots win the Super Bowl, mainly because he seems able to crush all joy associated with even the greatest accomplishments. It's a mark of the great ones. And the clinically depressed ones.
4. People are always complaining about large corporations. But when they do something positive they should be commended. Take MasterCard for example. Sunday night, after the Colts' loss, it started running a new Peyton Manning "D-CAF" spot showing various bloopers he made during filming. And then the ad closes with the line: "Not being perfect … priceless." Absolutely. Awesome. The fact that they had that cued up waiting for the Colts to lose, well … feel free to raise my interest rate to 29.99 percent, MasterCard. I'll pay anything you ask.
5. Interesting piece of information from, of all people, Tony Siragusa during the Seahawks-Redskins game when he said Washington had prepared all week to play in rain by repeatedly dunking footballs in a bucket of water. What he neglected to share was that Seattle had similarly prepared to face Sean Taylor by … well, you can take it from there.
6. Speaking of commercials, I also like that NFL apparel one with the line: "All you need is passion … and a torso." It always reminds me of the requirements the Bears' franchise has for its quarterbacks.
7. DeShaun Foster's broken ankle was first reported as a high ankle sprain during the game Sunday. And if you're keeping track like I am, that's now 3,684,214 athletes reported to have high ankle sprains, with the much rarer low ankle sprain still lagging behind at zero.
8. This Matt Hasselbeck-Jake Delhomme matchup in the NFC Championship game could be awesome. Both of them are a wee bit excitable, to say the least. I can just imagine their teammates with them in the huddle near the end of a tight game with a trip to the Super Bowl on the line: "Come on … sound it out … tell us the play. Just one word at a time. You can do it. Just breathe deep. Come on. You need to stop shaking and tell us the play. Let's go now … relax. Baby steps. Just say a word. Say a word. Say a word. Say anything. Grunt even. Ah, great … the play clock ran out again."
9. Next week will be the first time in five years that the conference championship round will be Eagles and Patriots-free. Which is a shame, really. I never felt as though we got to hear enough about those two teams. They kind of flew under the radar a bit on us, didn't they? But as disastrous as Philadelphia's season was this year, it must be nice for the Eagles to experience the month of January without being weighed down with an overwhelming sense of impending doom.
10. I pull absolutely zero weight in the sports media world, but is it too much for me to ask that this week's AFC Championship quarterback matchup between Jake Plummer and Ben Roethlisberger be officially dubbed the Beard Bowl? And, more importantly, that the winner be given Katie Holmes for a week? I feel I've earned that much.
Conference Championship Previews
I'm 7-1 against the spread so far this postseason, y'all. Quite frankly, I'm all you need. (If what you need for some unknown reason is to eventually go bankrupt.)
Carolina at Seattle
A heavy rain begins falling at kickoff, and a particularly large drop knocks Shaun Alexander out of action with another concussion. And, Carolina's Steve Smith is left essentially useless as well, struggling to run in the waist-high water. With their only offensive weapon held in check, the Panthers lose, sending the Seahawks to the Super Bowl. (Which in turn, unfortunately, triggers the Apocalypse.) Seahawks 20, Panthers 17.
Pittsburgh at Denver
Convinced by Joey Porter's mid-week comments that play-action is "cowardly," the Broncos' offense struggles throughout the game. They are able to stay within striking distance, however, due to three Troy Polamalu interceptions that are overturned thanks to an obscure NFL rule requiring an interceptor to possess the ball for at least 75 seconds if he has long hair. Steelers 27, Broncos 17.
R.I.P. Patriots Dynasty
And finally, it wouldn't be right to finish this column without congratulating the Patriots for their remarkable run, while at the same time bidding adieu to their dynasty.
Patriots Dynasty, 4, of New England, died January 14, 2006 at Invesco Field in Denver. Dynasty was born on January 19, 2002 to the Tuck Rule in Foxborough, Mass., and was confirmed weeks later at Super Bowl XXXVI. Surviving are a loving media and a large, but rapidly emptying bandwagon. Services will be held in the form of commemorative books and DVDs. In lieu of flowers, please stop disrespecting them.
DJ Gallo is a regular contributor to ESPN The Magazine, as well as the founder and sole writer of the award-winning sports satire site SportsPickle.com. He also contributes headlines to "The Onion."
jay canseco
War Child
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2004
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- 810
Manning may be a child, but getting paid to kick teams while they're down is even lower.
edited for spellinggggggggg
edited for spellinggggggggg
phanan
Blue Crack Addict
I find it hilarious that most people think the Patriots are done, just like that. Quite amusing, actually.
WildHoneyAlways
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
jay canseco said:Manning may be a child, but getting paid to kick teams while they're down is even lower.
edited for spellinggggggggg
Who? Sports writers?
popacrobat
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
Headache in a Suitcase said:
damn right.
speedracer
Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2001
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- 7,604
Even if the Patriots got the respect they felt they deserved, they'd probably make up quotes and other material and post it on their bulletin board to stay motivated (think Michael Jordan).
jay canseco
War Child
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2004
- Messages
- 810
WildHoneyAlways said:
"It's what they do. It's all they do."
OP
OP
the pats are far from done.. they still have brady, they still have bill.
they need to get younger on defense and they need to sure up their secondary, but they'll be back.
the colts will be back, too. they'll win another 12-14 games next year... perhaps peyton will throw for another bunch of records just to prove himself to everyone again, and then they'll piss their pants come playoff time and disapoint once again. peyton manning is a very talented quarterback... probably the most talented natural pocket QB in the league today. but he has way too much power. this whole calling his plays thing is getting silly. it's a gimmick. if they had a offensive coordinator who's nuts weren't chopped off, they could have made :gasp: adjustments to pittsburgh's blitz package. my word... make adjustments durring the game? how crazy a concept.
great coaches make adjustments... it's what makes them great coaches. but when the coach with the most power is your quarterback, it presents a problem.
and last night ended the conversation in my mind... the debate is over. i've said for years now that peyton is the best QB in the NFL. i take it all back, and give me tom brady.
they need to get younger on defense and they need to sure up their secondary, but they'll be back.
the colts will be back, too. they'll win another 12-14 games next year... perhaps peyton will throw for another bunch of records just to prove himself to everyone again, and then they'll piss their pants come playoff time and disapoint once again. peyton manning is a very talented quarterback... probably the most talented natural pocket QB in the league today. but he has way too much power. this whole calling his plays thing is getting silly. it's a gimmick. if they had a offensive coordinator who's nuts weren't chopped off, they could have made :gasp: adjustments to pittsburgh's blitz package. my word... make adjustments durring the game? how crazy a concept.
great coaches make adjustments... it's what makes them great coaches. but when the coach with the most power is your quarterback, it presents a problem.
and last night ended the conversation in my mind... the debate is over. i've said for years now that peyton is the best QB in the NFL. i take it all back, and give me tom brady.
popacrobat
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
if tom sees that post, he'll be proud.
Got Philk?
Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS
Truth be told, your post above headache is exactly correct.
Think about it. Good coaches do make adjustments. I love Dungy too. But how did Indy lose its first game to San Diego? Blitz and ruin their rhythm. Looked quite the same yesterday as it did that Sunday. I guarentee(cringing at myself here b/c I don't really like Pitt) Pittsburgh and head coach Cowher saw this and thought, lets go for it. Not to mention their offensive schemes tripped them up too. They took it to them and won.
And thanks for the comments on my Brian Urlacher. Too bad Steve Smith got in Tillman's head so early in the game or things may have been different.
What happened to a QB leading a last minute drive to win???
Think about it. Good coaches do make adjustments. I love Dungy too. But how did Indy lose its first game to San Diego? Blitz and ruin their rhythm. Looked quite the same yesterday as it did that Sunday. I guarentee(cringing at myself here b/c I don't really like Pitt) Pittsburgh and head coach Cowher saw this and thought, lets go for it. Not to mention their offensive schemes tripped them up too. They took it to them and won.
And thanks for the comments on my Brian Urlacher. Too bad Steve Smith got in Tillman's head so early in the game or things may have been different.
What happened to a QB leading a last minute drive to win???
DaveC
Blue Crack Addict
I thought about posting this last night, and thought to hold off in case it was just the alcohol talking.
But now, after fully mulling about it for a good 24 hours, I am now prepared to say, with a straight face and in all seriousness...
Tom Brady is a better quarterback than Peyton Manning.
With the exception of one who shall remain nameless, I've been probably the biggest Peyton supporter in the Peyton-Tom battle over the past couple years. I am now fully prepared to renounce that position and admit that I was terribly wrong.
Peyton is a fucking choke artist who can't come up big. While this is not an expression of love for Tom Brady (hey, I can still hate the both of them), I am now able to admit that when it comes to the big games and winning those games, Tom has the decisive edge. And Tom never tossed his entire offensive line out to dry. He used them in Visa commercials. I no longer have respect for Peyton Manning as a big-game quarterback.
I am hereby repenting from my sins and renouncing all Peyton fandom from here on.
As penitance, I fully await all posts of "I told you so", along with numerous idiotic quotes I posted previously to be dug up and exposed in the light once again.
Please...forgive me. I knew not what I did.
DISCLAIMER: This post was not made under any kind of duress or as a result of any alcoholic intoxication or wager made with a fellow Interference member.
But now, after fully mulling about it for a good 24 hours, I am now prepared to say, with a straight face and in all seriousness...
Tom Brady is a better quarterback than Peyton Manning.
With the exception of one who shall remain nameless, I've been probably the biggest Peyton supporter in the Peyton-Tom battle over the past couple years. I am now fully prepared to renounce that position and admit that I was terribly wrong.
Peyton is a fucking choke artist who can't come up big. While this is not an expression of love for Tom Brady (hey, I can still hate the both of them), I am now able to admit that when it comes to the big games and winning those games, Tom has the decisive edge. And Tom never tossed his entire offensive line out to dry. He used them in Visa commercials. I no longer have respect for Peyton Manning as a big-game quarterback.
I am hereby repenting from my sins and renouncing all Peyton fandom from here on.
As penitance, I fully await all posts of "I told you so", along with numerous idiotic quotes I posted previously to be dug up and exposed in the light once again.
Please...forgive me. I knew not what I did.
DISCLAIMER: This post was not made under any kind of duress or as a result of any alcoholic intoxication or wager made with a fellow Interference member.
OP
OP
it hurts to admit it, but alas... it is true. i didn't hate brady... i liked 'em both. i was just blinded by the stats and impressed by the silly play calling. i have now seen the err of my ways.
tom brady shits on peyton manning.
i can only hope that the pansy gene wans't passed along from archie to eli, otherwise the giants are fucked
tom brady shits on peyton manning.
i can only hope that the pansy gene wans't passed along from archie to eli, otherwise the giants are fucked
Peyton Manning
The Fly
Hey, guys, just because I am a choking fuck up doesn't mean Tom is the epitome of great QBs, he is just one lucky bastard. The true great QB is one who can do it all and move around and make good decisions, Montana, Young, Favre, even Jim Kelly. I envy them, I will never be that great. I have let all my fans down, I have let my team down, and I live with my shame. But if you want to see real greatness in a QB you need to look beyond Brady, he really is just a mediocrity.
Oh, if only I had run on 3rd and 2, or seen wide open James instead of telegraphing for one guy the wrong direction. I suck, and it will be a hard thing to live with. To my dear brother Eli, you have seen your future, it is your destiny to follow in my footsteps with the family choke curse. Each year for years to come you will lead your fans to high hopes only to have them collapse in the playoffs. The Chargers don't know how lucky they were not to get you. Maybe if we make the playoffs next year, we can have ourselves hypnotized to believe it's November....
Farewell,
Peyton Manning
Mr. November
Oh, if only I had run on 3rd and 2, or seen wide open James instead of telegraphing for one guy the wrong direction. I suck, and it will be a hard thing to live with. To my dear brother Eli, you have seen your future, it is your destiny to follow in my footsteps with the family choke curse. Each year for years to come you will lead your fans to high hopes only to have them collapse in the playoffs. The Chargers don't know how lucky they were not to get you. Maybe if we make the playoffs next year, we can have ourselves hypnotized to believe it's November....
Farewell,
Peyton Manning
Mr. November
OP
OP
do ignore lists take alters into effect or did i just add both names and not remember? 'cause if it did it automaticly, that would be awesome.
Peyton Manning
The Fly
No, each name must be listed separately. I am just a newbie to this forum, but I know that. Now, if only I knew what to do in a big game.......
Now, if only I knew what to do in a big game.......
U2Girl1978
Blue Crack Addict
Mangini agrees to coach Jets
Patriots defensive coordinator Eric Mangini has agreed to become the new head coach of the New York Jets.
Mangini met with Jets general manager Terry Bradway and assistant GM Mike Tannenbaum in Providence Sunday, the day after New England's season ended with a 27-13 loss in Denver.
The Jets interviewed former Vikings coach Mike Tice yesterday, but he left the New York area late in the afternoon. Shortly thereafter, the Jets contacted Mangini and made an offer.
Efforts to reach Mangini for comment were unsuccessful.
The Jets interviewed six candidates besides Mangini and Tice: former Saints coach Jim Haslett, former Rams interim coach Joe Vitt, Jets offensive coordinator Mike Heimerdinger, Jets defensive coordinator Donnie Henderson, Giants defensive coordinator Tim Lewis, and Jets special teams coach Mike Westhoff.
Mangini was intriguing to team owner Woody Johnson because of his ties with Bill Belichick and his knowledge of the Patriots' system.
Mangini has had the backing of Tannenbaum, a close friend, although Bradway appeared to be enamored with Tice.
Mangini, who turns 35 this week, just completed his first season as the Patriots' defensive coordinator. He replaced Romeo Crennel, who left after last year's Super Bowl campaign to become head coach of the Cleveland Browns
Adam Vinatieri and Christian Fauria are 2 of 17 free agents whose contracts are up this year. If they let these guys go, I am going to be pissed!
Patriots defensive coordinator Eric Mangini has agreed to become the new head coach of the New York Jets.
Mangini met with Jets general manager Terry Bradway and assistant GM Mike Tannenbaum in Providence Sunday, the day after New England's season ended with a 27-13 loss in Denver.
The Jets interviewed former Vikings coach Mike Tice yesterday, but he left the New York area late in the afternoon. Shortly thereafter, the Jets contacted Mangini and made an offer.
Efforts to reach Mangini for comment were unsuccessful.
The Jets interviewed six candidates besides Mangini and Tice: former Saints coach Jim Haslett, former Rams interim coach Joe Vitt, Jets offensive coordinator Mike Heimerdinger, Jets defensive coordinator Donnie Henderson, Giants defensive coordinator Tim Lewis, and Jets special teams coach Mike Westhoff.
Mangini was intriguing to team owner Woody Johnson because of his ties with Bill Belichick and his knowledge of the Patriots' system.
Mangini has had the backing of Tannenbaum, a close friend, although Bradway appeared to be enamored with Tice.
Mangini, who turns 35 this week, just completed his first season as the Patriots' defensive coordinator. He replaced Romeo Crennel, who left after last year's Super Bowl campaign to become head coach of the Cleveland Browns
Adam Vinatieri and Christian Fauria are 2 of 17 free agents whose contracts are up this year. If they let these guys go, I am going to be pissed!
popacrobat
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
fauria is completely expendable with graham and the emergence of watson.
vinatieri is going nowhere.
vinatieri is going nowhere.
phanan
Blue Crack Addict
My God, wait until Hewson reads all of this in the morning...
popacrobat
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
peyton you still suck.
phanan
Blue Crack Addict
StlElevation said:
Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if they kept Fauria around as a backup, if he wanted to.
Vinatieri is obviously staying. Whether a new contract is written up or not - he'll be franchised again if that happens.
They need to resign David Givens - he's a big time receiver. I would make him a top priority.
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