AM said:
We didn?t want a big, fat wedding, just a small one, because this was for us, not for others. A union between the two of us
I think my earlier post wasn't really clear on my feelings, and I am afraid people will misinterpret my perspective and think evil thoughts about me!
I read a lot of these posts, and AM and I are friends from another room that some people scorn, so I want to state right off the bat I DON'T think this perspective is wrong.
But I do want to say I don't think having a big wedding (with the *right* (<~~~~loaded word) intentions) is wrong either.
My husband and I did want to have a "Big" wedding because we did want to celebrate our union with all our family and friends. We wanted to have the people we loved (all of them from wherever they were in the world) to come and celebrate with us. We had great food, music, everyone partied really late. Yes, it was expensive, and yes many things were a bit frivolous, but we avoided the really commercial stuff like napkins stamped with our names...
Now, I don't think the fact that we had a big party means marriage is some easy fun thing. There are disagreements all the time and we have to work together. But we love each other a lot, and we've been dating since were 16 (we're 27 now) so we had a lot of mutual friends. So while the marriage is just between me and my man, the wedding was something we wanted to share with everyone who had helped us get and stay together.
I hope that sounds like a positive endorsement for marriage for those who feel comfortable with that institution in their private life.
my perspective on the relationship between married couples and the state is a completely different matter.....