Lancemc
Blue Crack Addict
Well, you're all probably right. I guess I'm just trying to protect myself by keeping things a quasi-"worst case scenario" perspective.
This whole thing's been affecting me in more ways than I thought it ever could. For one, I'm way more emotional than usual. Example: Early today I watched the last 20 minutes of Million Dollar Baby. The first couple times I saw it, it moved me, but never made me cry. Today I see the last 20 minutes alone and become a weeping mess.
I'm also suspicious that it's affecting me physically, though I kinda doubt it. The past few days I haven't been able to eat much, if anything at all. I mean, I'll feel hungry, but when I try to eat something I just can't get it down. I figure it's either a psycological thing due to stress, or a stomach bug or something (more likely ). But still, you never know. A bit of a funny story. Last night, Kyle, Kate and I were eating dinner together, and I mentioned by odd lack of apetite, and Kyle immediately suggested it was due to stress, but said "You don't much of a work load though, so you have nothing to be stressed about." If he only knew.
It is getting hard though. Some days are wonderful, and others are completely dreadful. On the good days I'm full of hope, and I'm just so sure she has at least some feelings for me, and one day we'll be together and live happily ever after, etc. etc. But the bad days are often more powerful than the good ones. Just last night for instance, I nearly cried myself to sleep (well, a big part of it also had to do with other school issues, but my thoughts soon returned to Kate) because I was dead sure it was a hopeless cause and I'd be better off just trying to forget about the entire thing.
But I'm still doing alright overall. No worries. Plus, I'm going home tomorrow for Thanksgiving. And it doesn't get much better than that.
This whole thing's been affecting me in more ways than I thought it ever could. For one, I'm way more emotional than usual. Example: Early today I watched the last 20 minutes of Million Dollar Baby. The first couple times I saw it, it moved me, but never made me cry. Today I see the last 20 minutes alone and become a weeping mess.
I'm also suspicious that it's affecting me physically, though I kinda doubt it. The past few days I haven't been able to eat much, if anything at all. I mean, I'll feel hungry, but when I try to eat something I just can't get it down. I figure it's either a psycological thing due to stress, or a stomach bug or something (more likely ). But still, you never know. A bit of a funny story. Last night, Kyle, Kate and I were eating dinner together, and I mentioned by odd lack of apetite, and Kyle immediately suggested it was due to stress, but said "You don't much of a work load though, so you have nothing to be stressed about." If he only knew.
It is getting hard though. Some days are wonderful, and others are completely dreadful. On the good days I'm full of hope, and I'm just so sure she has at least some feelings for me, and one day we'll be together and live happily ever after, etc. etc. But the bad days are often more powerful than the good ones. Just last night for instance, I nearly cried myself to sleep (well, a big part of it also had to do with other school issues, but my thoughts soon returned to Kate) because I was dead sure it was a hopeless cause and I'd be better off just trying to forget about the entire thing.
But I'm still doing alright overall. No worries. Plus, I'm going home tomorrow for Thanksgiving. And it doesn't get much better than that.