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Thursday, November 23, 2006
Dear Mrs Hewson…
By Ellen Lynch
OR MAY I call you Ali? I'm moved to write to empathise with you, as someone who is often embarrassed, mortified, annoyed and irritated by your husband Bono's actions and behaviour. Yours is not an easy lot and I felt a letter of support wouldn't go astray.
I've seen your photograph often, in the papers and magazines, when you're snapped alongside him. All credit to you for being able to force a smile each time.
It can't be easy on cringe-making occasions when the hubby is making the usual show of himself with some selfserving statement or other.
Living, and particularly appearing in public, with someone given to such overblown public pronouncements, can't be easy and the brave face you put on things, while admirable, can't go on indefinitely. So I'm hoping that my little bit of advice will be of help. I'm sure you have, on many occasions over the years, just like the rest of us, trying to rein in the worse excesses of errant husbands, had a word in his earringed over-lobe about toning down the pronouncements in which he styles himself the noughties messiah. I'm sure you've told him he can get his message across about world hunger, about AIDS and about pretty much everything else he expounds on, without sounding like a third-rate Billy Graham. I'm sure you've pointed out to him that you yourself achieve great things and have done great work with your Chernobyl childrens' charity and in your other altruistic endeavours, by simply getting on with it, by doing the work, rather than by banging on about it. Alas Ali, it probably hasn't made much difference as you've probably come to the same conclusion as the rest of us at this stage its the sound of his own voice that he's addicted to.
It doesn't mean you shouldn't try though to curb his embarrassing public fulminations.
We’ve been preached to long enough in this country by a clergy that tells us to do one things while themselves doing another. We'd already begun to rail against that by staying out of the churches when your hubby came along and started preaching to the punters who shelled out their hard earned money to go and hear his band in concert. At least they were fans and likely to be somewhat patient but when he took his crusade outside the concert arena, and a certain amount of gravitas was attached to his pronouncements, well then it was all too much for the rest of us.
I'm sure too you've pointed out (you've probably had to be diplomatic in so doing) that being vocal on the subject of poverty and world hunger and then taking yourself out of the country for tax purposes, is, well, a tad hypocritical? Unless of course the reason he wants to hold onto more and more of the squillions he earns is so that he can donate more to the causes he espouses?
I'd imagine too that words were exchanged in the Hewson household before that court case with the lovely Lola began. You strike me as a pragmatic sort, you must have wondered, like the rest of us, why the hell he was making such a fuss over a pair of auld manky trousers and a hat that always made him look ridiculous? You had to have guessed that going to court over such trivial items would have made him look petty and spiteful. Did you advise him only to have him spurn your advice?
I could see him doing that, alright.
Did he regret taking the case when all the details of his insecurities came out in public? When we heard all about his concern over his image, over his appearance, his lack of height? Or did he feel vindicated when he won the case this week and nothing else mattered?
Husbands, eh, Mrs. Hewson? You try to advise them, to guide them, but they insist on doing their own thing. I'm sure at this stage too that you've had a word with him about the yellow and pink shades.
Have you suggested that wearing rosetinted glasses all the time IS likely to warp his perspective of the world? Have you warned him of the dangers to his eyesight of wearing the sunglasses indoors all the time? Maybe you've suggested a style makeover too? Probably he feels his rock star status entitles him to look as ridiculous as he does at his age now. He probably feels that if wrinklies like Mick Jagger and Keith Wood still dress as vagabond gypsies then he has a way to go. If he won't listen to you, take comfort in the fact that your kids will soon be teenagers and won't be long about telling him to shut up and stop making a show of them. Until then, just keep smiling in the photos and laughing all the way to the bank.