jobob
Rock n' Roll Doggie ALL ACCESS
Some Days Are Wedding Days
Disclaimer/Notes: Dearly beloved, we are gathered together to witness the joining of this man and this woman in fanfic matromony. Admit it, readers. You love weddings. Good news: You don't have to buy a new dress or find a date for B's and J's wedding! This is fiction. If this were an actual wedding and B were really Bono, he'd be committing bigamy. We all know Bono and Ali are married, and they've been together since they were high school students. I've always been single. Know any SWM U2 (or Springsteen) fans in their late 30s to mid-40s?
I'm also keeping an Interference journal/blog of my "Tour of the Vertigo Tour" experiences. Click "View Journal." See you in Boston Dec. 4! And in Cleveland Dec. 10!
These chapters are also being posted to U2-fanfiction.com.
It's the morning of your wedding day.
Joan gave you a little motherly talk as you put on your white dress and did your hair and makeup.
"B's a good man, Jo. I think your father -- and your mother -- would have liked him, too. I suppose I don't need to tell you much about sex."
"No, I guess not."
Mercifully, she changes the subject. "You know how your father and I always had a weekly date night." That was one thing you liked about your father's second marriage, how he and your stepmother always made sure to spend some time alone with each other every week.
"Yes, I remember how Dad would ask you 'Where are we going tonight, dear?' during dinner whenever I saw you on Friday or Saturday night. It always made me smile when I heard him say that. You both liked those dates. Especially when you'd go dancing at his club or take dance lessons. Dad really loved to dance with you."
"You and B should go out together every week, especially after you have the baby. Get out of the house, and do things you like to do together. It'll be good for your marriage."
"Got any other advice for me today, Joan?"
"Don't go to bed angry. Stay up and fight."
"We don't fight."
"Sooner or later, you will. If you haven't already. Let's go downstairs and have some breakfast and coffee, shall we?"
****
Your computer chimes as you sit in the living room, with one of your kitchen aprons over your white dress to protect it from spills and stains. You go to the monitor and open an e-mail from B.
My dear J:
You know we have to get married today.
Why? Because I love you. See you at the courthouse at 11:45 a.m. I'll be the man in the dark suit. Dave will be holding the wedding ring. You'll be the woman in white with flowers in her hair, right?
Happy wedding day, love!
All my love, B.
How sweet. You reply:
B: Yes, I have to marry you too. Because I'm in love with you. I'll be in white. We'll have cameras, flowers, and the license. See you soon! Love, J.
You print out your reply, which includes the original message, so you can put it into your wedding scrapbook of today's events.
*****
"How do you feel?" your aunt asks you as you sit in the back seat of your aunt's car. You live only a few blocks from the courthouse. You could have walked there. However, Joan made lunch reservations for after the ceremony so you're driving there.
"A little nervous." Actually, a lot nervous.
Your cell phone rings. For the heck of it, you and B switched it to its "Wedding" ringtone a few days ago, and now it's playing "Here Comes the Bride." But who could possibly be calling you now?
"Hello?"
"Hello, love. What are you doing this morning?" It's B, flirting with you.
"I'm going to a wedding." You flirt back as your stepmother parks the car. You can't quite see B.
"A wedding? Who would get married on a Tuesday morning?"
"Oh, I think you know this couple. You might even be on your way to their wedding." As you get out of the car, you see B, in a dark suit, at the courthouse door, cell phone to his ear. He sees you, smiles. He walks into the small courthouse.
"I am, actually. It's going to be a small, civil ceremony. Bride, groom, her mum and aunt, groom's best mate, bride's Uncle Jeff, groom's favorite new niece ..."
"My uncle is here? I mean, her uncle is there?" You ask as you walk into the courthouse. You spent last night with Emily, but you didn't tell B because Emily wanted to surprise him.
"They are. It's such a nice surprise seeing the groom's niece here. Hey, didn't we make a date for this wedding?"
"We did. I'm on my way to the judge's chambers now." B hums "Here Comes the Bride" into the phone.
*****
Your Uncle Jeff is there, with his camera. He said he couldn't pass up the chance to see one of his favorite readers marry his niece. Your stepmother's taking photos with her digital camera. Em's holding a camcorder -- is she crying?
"Paul and Josephine ..." You both try not to cringe as the judge uses your real first names.
"Have asked me if they can say a few words to each other along with their wedding vows. Paul?"
You're wondering what he's going to say to you. You didn't practice this in front of each other beforehand. You know B would sing a two-hour rock concert for you. Complete with a green guitar, his old friends Dave, Adam, and Larry as his back-up band, a track around the stage for B to run around on, a light show, dancing, a petition for more foreign aid to Africa, and 20,000 cheering fans. You made him agree to keep it down, way down, to a simple speech of a minute or less.
"J. I take you as my wife in front of these witnesses and God. I do this because I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. I want to raise a family with you. I want to have a home with you. Wither thou goest, I will go. Your people will be my people. I am yours, and you are mine. You are the one I want. I love you."
"Josephine?"
"B, I take you as my husband in front of our witnesses and God." You weren't planning on saying that, but it worked for him. "I love you very much. I look forward to spending our lives together and to raising our child together. I welcome you into my family. I hope we grow together as we build our home and our family together. You are the one I want. I Iove you."
"Do you have the rings?"
Dave hands B your ring. "Josephine, give Paul your left hand. Paul, repeat after me. 'With this ring, I thee wed.' "
B slips the thin gold ring on the ring finger of your right hand. "With this ring, I thee wed."
"Paul, give Josephine your left hand. Josephine, repeat after me, 'With this ring, I thee wed.' "
Your aunt hands you the ring you've bought for B. "With this ring, I thee wed." You take B's ring finger and put the ring on it.
"By the power invested in me by the state, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
You reach for each other. And kiss. It starts off innocent, but B deepens it for a moment. Then he breaks it and looks into your eyes.
"I love you, Mrs. Hewson," he whispers to you.
"I love you, my husband," you whisper back. "We did it!"
"We did it. We're married," he whispers back. You hold each other for a moment, then turn and face your family. They applaud and cheer. You kiss each other again. They hug and congratuate both of you. Pictures are taken, of everyone.
"Don't forget, you and your witnesses need to sign the license!" the judge says. You, B, your aunt, and Dave all sign the paper while Joan and your uncle take photos.
Joan invites everyone to lunch, to celebrate.
"You're riding with the bloke you just married," Dave tells you, pointing to B.
"You didn't do anything embarrassing to B's car, did you?" you ask Dave.
Dave doesn't answer you. Instead you see a dark luxury car in the courthouse parking lot.
"No, we hired a car just for the two of you. See you there," Dave tells you, as he and Jeff walk off.
"You know, I don't think we've been in the back seat in a car together before today," you tell B after the driver helps you into the back of the car.
"The fun we could have had. Do you have any idea where they're taking us and how long we'll be back here?" He kisses your neck, moves his lips down the open V-neck of your dress.
"B, we're not completely alone. There is a driver up front, and we're probably not going very far," you giggle. As the car moves in traffic, you hear horns honk. You figure someone -- probably Dave and Emily -- stuck a "Just Married" sign on the car. Oh, well.
"We could rent more limos. Take taxis? Ride the bus?" He kisses your cheek. "Or don't people hire taxis and ride buses here in the Motor City?"
"Taxis and buses aren't popular here. Limos are, for special occasions. Such as weddings." You kiss him back. "Speaking of weddings, you're a handsome groom, B."
"You are a beautiful bride. You look just as I'd imagined my bride would look." He hugs you close to him. "I love you so much, J." B kisses your cheek, then thinks for a moment. "J? Do you have your digital camera?"
You look in your purse. "I've always got my camera phone with me."
B picks up the intercom phone on the seat and speaks. "Driver? Would you make a detour for us? And call the restaurant and let our party know the bride and groom may be a few minutes late?"
****
Your car is in the front of the Dales Library, near the spot where you and B first kissed. There are trees outside the library entrance; their leaves are red and gold.
"Stop the car!" you yell. B's smiling.
"He will, love. I asked him to drive us here so we could take a picture here today."
In front of the place where you met. How romantic. (Even though ... oh, well, you'll overlook that today.) B gets out of the car, then helps you out. You see one of your old coworkers outside, share the news, and ask her if she'll take your photo. She agrees, and takes your photo with your camera phone. To your surprise, the camera phone did a good job. When you're back in the car, you quickly e-mail the photo to yourself and to B.
****
You meet your wedding party about 10 minutes later in a nearby restaurant. Everyone's seated at a round table in a semi-private area. Except Emily, B's new favorite niece.
As B asks, "Where's Em?" she walks in, carrying a package covered by brown grocery bags.
"This party needed a wedding cake, Uncle B. So I made one for you late last night. I needed to go to grandma's house and get it," she says. "Ta-da!" She pulls the grocery bags off the package to reveal a rectangular white frosted cake with red flowers. "The summer I was 13, I took a cake decorating class because I was bored. I even thought about being a baker. Music's more fun."
"Is it chocolate?" B asks. "J and I love chocolate cake." You fight the urge not to kick him under the table for seeming ungrateful. At least B didn't go into the whole story of how he served you chocolate cake on the night you met, even though it's a cute little story.
"Sorry, Uncle B. This one's vanilla. Wedding cakes usually are white."
"Thank you Emily. That's very nice of you." you say to her. "We can have chocolate cake later, honey," you whisper in B's ear. "When we're alone."
****
After an afternoon of toasts, congratuations -- and cake -- you and B leave in the car.
"Your place or mine?" you playfully ask B.
"Ours. Let's go home."
Disclaimer/Notes: Dearly beloved, we are gathered together to witness the joining of this man and this woman in fanfic matromony. Admit it, readers. You love weddings. Good news: You don't have to buy a new dress or find a date for B's and J's wedding! This is fiction. If this were an actual wedding and B were really Bono, he'd be committing bigamy. We all know Bono and Ali are married, and they've been together since they were high school students. I've always been single. Know any SWM U2 (or Springsteen) fans in their late 30s to mid-40s?
I'm also keeping an Interference journal/blog of my "Tour of the Vertigo Tour" experiences. Click "View Journal." See you in Boston Dec. 4! And in Cleveland Dec. 10!
These chapters are also being posted to U2-fanfiction.com.
It's the morning of your wedding day.
Joan gave you a little motherly talk as you put on your white dress and did your hair and makeup.
"B's a good man, Jo. I think your father -- and your mother -- would have liked him, too. I suppose I don't need to tell you much about sex."
"No, I guess not."
Mercifully, she changes the subject. "You know how your father and I always had a weekly date night." That was one thing you liked about your father's second marriage, how he and your stepmother always made sure to spend some time alone with each other every week.
"Yes, I remember how Dad would ask you 'Where are we going tonight, dear?' during dinner whenever I saw you on Friday or Saturday night. It always made me smile when I heard him say that. You both liked those dates. Especially when you'd go dancing at his club or take dance lessons. Dad really loved to dance with you."
"You and B should go out together every week, especially after you have the baby. Get out of the house, and do things you like to do together. It'll be good for your marriage."
"Got any other advice for me today, Joan?"
"Don't go to bed angry. Stay up and fight."
"We don't fight."
"Sooner or later, you will. If you haven't already. Let's go downstairs and have some breakfast and coffee, shall we?"
****
Your computer chimes as you sit in the living room, with one of your kitchen aprons over your white dress to protect it from spills and stains. You go to the monitor and open an e-mail from B.
My dear J:
You know we have to get married today.
Why? Because I love you. See you at the courthouse at 11:45 a.m. I'll be the man in the dark suit. Dave will be holding the wedding ring. You'll be the woman in white with flowers in her hair, right?
Happy wedding day, love!
All my love, B.
How sweet. You reply:
B: Yes, I have to marry you too. Because I'm in love with you. I'll be in white. We'll have cameras, flowers, and the license. See you soon! Love, J.
You print out your reply, which includes the original message, so you can put it into your wedding scrapbook of today's events.
*****
"How do you feel?" your aunt asks you as you sit in the back seat of your aunt's car. You live only a few blocks from the courthouse. You could have walked there. However, Joan made lunch reservations for after the ceremony so you're driving there.
"A little nervous." Actually, a lot nervous.
Your cell phone rings. For the heck of it, you and B switched it to its "Wedding" ringtone a few days ago, and now it's playing "Here Comes the Bride." But who could possibly be calling you now?
"Hello?"
"Hello, love. What are you doing this morning?" It's B, flirting with you.
"I'm going to a wedding." You flirt back as your stepmother parks the car. You can't quite see B.
"A wedding? Who would get married on a Tuesday morning?"
"Oh, I think you know this couple. You might even be on your way to their wedding." As you get out of the car, you see B, in a dark suit, at the courthouse door, cell phone to his ear. He sees you, smiles. He walks into the small courthouse.
"I am, actually. It's going to be a small, civil ceremony. Bride, groom, her mum and aunt, groom's best mate, bride's Uncle Jeff, groom's favorite new niece ..."
"My uncle is here? I mean, her uncle is there?" You ask as you walk into the courthouse. You spent last night with Emily, but you didn't tell B because Emily wanted to surprise him.
"They are. It's such a nice surprise seeing the groom's niece here. Hey, didn't we make a date for this wedding?"
"We did. I'm on my way to the judge's chambers now." B hums "Here Comes the Bride" into the phone.
*****
Your Uncle Jeff is there, with his camera. He said he couldn't pass up the chance to see one of his favorite readers marry his niece. Your stepmother's taking photos with her digital camera. Em's holding a camcorder -- is she crying?
"Paul and Josephine ..." You both try not to cringe as the judge uses your real first names.
"Have asked me if they can say a few words to each other along with their wedding vows. Paul?"
You're wondering what he's going to say to you. You didn't practice this in front of each other beforehand. You know B would sing a two-hour rock concert for you. Complete with a green guitar, his old friends Dave, Adam, and Larry as his back-up band, a track around the stage for B to run around on, a light show, dancing, a petition for more foreign aid to Africa, and 20,000 cheering fans. You made him agree to keep it down, way down, to a simple speech of a minute or less.
"J. I take you as my wife in front of these witnesses and God. I do this because I want to be with you for the rest of our lives. I want to raise a family with you. I want to have a home with you. Wither thou goest, I will go. Your people will be my people. I am yours, and you are mine. You are the one I want. I love you."
"Josephine?"
"B, I take you as my husband in front of our witnesses and God." You weren't planning on saying that, but it worked for him. "I love you very much. I look forward to spending our lives together and to raising our child together. I welcome you into my family. I hope we grow together as we build our home and our family together. You are the one I want. I Iove you."
"Do you have the rings?"
Dave hands B your ring. "Josephine, give Paul your left hand. Paul, repeat after me. 'With this ring, I thee wed.' "
B slips the thin gold ring on the ring finger of your right hand. "With this ring, I thee wed."
"Paul, give Josephine your left hand. Josephine, repeat after me, 'With this ring, I thee wed.' "
Your aunt hands you the ring you've bought for B. "With this ring, I thee wed." You take B's ring finger and put the ring on it.
"By the power invested in me by the state, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."
You reach for each other. And kiss. It starts off innocent, but B deepens it for a moment. Then he breaks it and looks into your eyes.
"I love you, Mrs. Hewson," he whispers to you.
"I love you, my husband," you whisper back. "We did it!"
"We did it. We're married," he whispers back. You hold each other for a moment, then turn and face your family. They applaud and cheer. You kiss each other again. They hug and congratuate both of you. Pictures are taken, of everyone.
"Don't forget, you and your witnesses need to sign the license!" the judge says. You, B, your aunt, and Dave all sign the paper while Joan and your uncle take photos.
Joan invites everyone to lunch, to celebrate.
"You're riding with the bloke you just married," Dave tells you, pointing to B.
"You didn't do anything embarrassing to B's car, did you?" you ask Dave.
Dave doesn't answer you. Instead you see a dark luxury car in the courthouse parking lot.
"No, we hired a car just for the two of you. See you there," Dave tells you, as he and Jeff walk off.
"You know, I don't think we've been in the back seat in a car together before today," you tell B after the driver helps you into the back of the car.
"The fun we could have had. Do you have any idea where they're taking us and how long we'll be back here?" He kisses your neck, moves his lips down the open V-neck of your dress.
"B, we're not completely alone. There is a driver up front, and we're probably not going very far," you giggle. As the car moves in traffic, you hear horns honk. You figure someone -- probably Dave and Emily -- stuck a "Just Married" sign on the car. Oh, well.
"We could rent more limos. Take taxis? Ride the bus?" He kisses your cheek. "Or don't people hire taxis and ride buses here in the Motor City?"
"Taxis and buses aren't popular here. Limos are, for special occasions. Such as weddings." You kiss him back. "Speaking of weddings, you're a handsome groom, B."
"You are a beautiful bride. You look just as I'd imagined my bride would look." He hugs you close to him. "I love you so much, J." B kisses your cheek, then thinks for a moment. "J? Do you have your digital camera?"
You look in your purse. "I've always got my camera phone with me."
B picks up the intercom phone on the seat and speaks. "Driver? Would you make a detour for us? And call the restaurant and let our party know the bride and groom may be a few minutes late?"
****
Your car is in the front of the Dales Library, near the spot where you and B first kissed. There are trees outside the library entrance; their leaves are red and gold.
"Stop the car!" you yell. B's smiling.
"He will, love. I asked him to drive us here so we could take a picture here today."
In front of the place where you met. How romantic. (Even though ... oh, well, you'll overlook that today.) B gets out of the car, then helps you out. You see one of your old coworkers outside, share the news, and ask her if she'll take your photo. She agrees, and takes your photo with your camera phone. To your surprise, the camera phone did a good job. When you're back in the car, you quickly e-mail the photo to yourself and to B.
****
You meet your wedding party about 10 minutes later in a nearby restaurant. Everyone's seated at a round table in a semi-private area. Except Emily, B's new favorite niece.
As B asks, "Where's Em?" she walks in, carrying a package covered by brown grocery bags.
"This party needed a wedding cake, Uncle B. So I made one for you late last night. I needed to go to grandma's house and get it," she says. "Ta-da!" She pulls the grocery bags off the package to reveal a rectangular white frosted cake with red flowers. "The summer I was 13, I took a cake decorating class because I was bored. I even thought about being a baker. Music's more fun."
"Is it chocolate?" B asks. "J and I love chocolate cake." You fight the urge not to kick him under the table for seeming ungrateful. At least B didn't go into the whole story of how he served you chocolate cake on the night you met, even though it's a cute little story.
"Sorry, Uncle B. This one's vanilla. Wedding cakes usually are white."
"Thank you Emily. That's very nice of you." you say to her. "We can have chocolate cake later, honey," you whisper in B's ear. "When we're alone."
****
After an afternoon of toasts, congratuations -- and cake -- you and B leave in the car.
"Your place or mine?" you playfully ask B.
"Ours. Let's go home."
<crying at the wedding
