The ole "Apple of one's eye cheats with bestfriend" scenerio...

[martha]

It's so out of character for him to have done this. That's the vexing question. Why would he?

Maybe he loves her. He's been able to get to know her for a few years. I'm sure he still loves you as well and knows how much pain you're in. Give it some time.


As for your not wanting to go out or do anything, you're grieving right now. Give yourself some time to work this through. Be honest with your friend. Tell him that you need some time to work this through and that you'll contact him when you can.

 

[martha]

Martha appears to be a very liberated thinker

Niner, I haven't changed while you were gone.

 

[Danospano]

Okay. I'll give it some time. I just can't fathom the possibility of ever seeing him in the same light, and that pisses me off. I have a bunch of acquaitances, but very few people I consider close friends. In fact, you could say that my friends could be counted on both hands, so this really fucks me over.

 

[deep]

Dano,

yeah, it is a lousy situation.

But, it sounds like it was not working with her and you anyways.

I've been on all sides of these situations.

I once asked my best friend if he minded if I went out with his ex,

he said he did not.

Well, coming out of a bar he had a mutual friend sucker punch me in the nuts.

So now I don't get to friendly with friends exes. (unless I decide to start wearing a cup)

Let go. There will be someone else for you that will appreciate you. Dr. Phil is right you cannot make somebody love you.

A few months ago I ended a relationship that was not giving back enough to me. I deserved better.

Now I got TWO great girls I have to choose from before they find out about each other. And I end up alone.

Give your "friend" some distance. Odds are it will not work out for them. And your resentment will subside and a relationship can continue. I think he will go out of his way not to make the same mistake again. I have not. I have kept my friend from the first grade and do not have to wear my cup.

 

[Danospano]

I hope that's the case with the friend, because it just doesn't make sense and I hope it will.

As for the girl, I'm mainly mad at her for going after my friend. Sure, she has the right, but I also have the right to be pissed off! I definitely feel nothing for her anymore, and that's a shame, because she and I were really good friends before this happened. I just can't let this slide.

 

[Sweet Tart]

i really feel for you.

the same thing happened to me a year ago. my bf of 5 years broke up with me and then started dating one of my friends. he didn't even have the balls to tell me about it and i had to find out from another friend that it was going on. he then proceeded to string both me and my former friend along for a few months before picking her.

i still hate both of them more than i have hated 2 people in my whole entire life and that's saying alot since it's been 4 months since i have seen or talked to either of them.

i know how hurtful it can be when people you trust and love do this to you. it never surprised me that she did it cause we weren't that close to begin with adn she has always been a very self centered person adn only did what was best for her and others be damed. my ex hurt me more than i can even describe here cause i never thought that someone that i loved and trusted so much would be so hurtful. i asked him so many times was this thing between them worth teh shitstorm that it caused. he never gave me an answer but as they are still together i guess it was.

i eventually cut both of them out of my life for good as it was to hurtful adn depressing to deal with it anymore. i wouldn't suggest holding a grudge because that's putting too much effort and thought into 2 people that aren't even worth it.

my advice would be to get rid of her. she obviously likes someone else and couldn't have cared less what you thought anyway. as for your friend....well if you feel that you would be able to forgive him and to trust him around your future gf's than by all means stay friends with him. i don't know why you would want friends like that in your life anyway but if his friendship means that much to you then at least see if you can get passed this mistake that he made.

take from my advice what you will. this is coming from someone who has been through the same thing but is still pissed off as hell because of it.

so in the end do what's right for you. try and get some distance from it if possible and then maybe reassess your friendship down the road when you aren't so hurt and angry.

good luck and take care.