indra
ONE love, blood, life
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2004
- Messages
- 12,689
Finally some sense in this chaos
As if many others haven't already said virtually the same thing.
Finally some sense in this chaos
i mean, this is a U2 fansite, and most people here are bound to take his side really and shout his wife down...
Thanks for taking the time for this detailed response.i think Mellow Moog should perhaps seek more objective help if he thinks there's a real problem in his marriage, U2-related or not...
i mean, this is a U2 fansite, and most people here are bound to take his side really and shout his wife down...
if you really think there is a problem MM, how about going to talk to a counsellor or something?? to get a truly objective perspective?
i'm really sorry to hear about your loss MM - i too lost my mother to cancer when she was still very young... but i have to say, really, it was my husband and my friends who got me thru the darkest part of my life... i couldn't listen to any music whatsover for a few years after that as i guess music just sparks so many emotions and feelings, and i was just trying so hard to keep myself together emotionally for various reasons... but then a few years later when ATYCLB came out, i started listening again, and some of those songs really touched me, and i could relate so much, and i do think it's pretty special when there is that moment of recognition and relating in a song... but, in my experience, it was my husband who held onto me tightly, my newborn baby who brought me so much joy in a dark time, and my friends at the end of the phone or at the end of a hug, that got me thru... it was those concrete things, and the music was just an extra help...
perhaps your wife is feeling a little resentful of you saying how U2's music has helped you so much in the difficult times in your life... maybe she feels you think they helped you more than she has? i dunno...
just thinking out loud and trying to see both sides here... i just feel life is bigger than a band's music that's all, and i don't think it's worth jeopardising your marriage over if you truly love each other... that's why i think counselling could be good because maybe then you could identify whether it really is your U2 fandom that is the problem, or whether your wife is just a control freak or something...
Anybody found a way to STOP loving U2? Any U2 song that if played over and over could be like detoxing???? The antidote for loving U2???
Unfortunately, the 2 closest people to my wife were her best friend and my mother, both who have passed away in the last 6 years so she doesn't have anyone really close to her anymore which I know is very hard for her.
I agree about being a U2 fansite maybe being biased towards another U2 fan but I think you are slightly underestimating people's responses here which have been neutral and don't give me a free pass either.
Life is bigger than any band, but a band who touches you on such an emotional and primal level IS part of your life. Any denying it is like denying who you are.
My wife has helped me deal with a lot in life and is my partner and my best friend now and I hers. That's what's scaring me right now. If this does go pear shaped, god knows what'll happen.
Anybody found a way to STOP loving U2? Any U2 song that if played over and over could be like detoxing???? The antidote for loving U2???
I beg to differ.....for the most part, all i have read is unbiased, balanced and honest views on the situation, with very little u2 being brought into the equation. I think most people have managed to see the situation for how it really is.
hi again mellow moog... if your wife has lost the 2 people closest to her recently (6 years is recent when it comes to grief), maybe this explains why she is being so insecure and clingy with you?? as maybe she feels you are all she has left??
i didn't mean that in a negative way - i was just stating the obvious really, that everyone here is a U2 fan like you and can see your perspective very easily... i was just suggesting you get some feedback from someone who isn't a U2 fan, so as to get an outside perspective...
see now... with all due respect, MM, if my hub said this to me, i would be a little worried... it sounds extreme to me... if something gets so big in your life that it has the potential to damage your life then i think it has become a problem... a band doesn't make you who you are as a person imo...
that is a hell of a lot to lose there mellow moog... if you love each other and are best friends, you are a very lucky guy!
why do you have to stop loving U2? the songs are always there, you will always have their music, no?
i don't mean to come across harsh... it makes me sad reading this... i just really hope you can find a good balance or happy compromise somehow...
Sorry but I was being sarcastic about detoxing from U2.
Music is but a part of my life, not my whole life but it is important to me, the same way that art, sport or even origami are big to other people. I don't think that makes me extreme.I really don't.
Everything you do and like adds upto you. It makes you who you are.
See what happens when you let women out of the kitchen?
Well I can tell you it's definitely not only a women's problem.
There is also a fair amount of male jealousy. Oh yes
Jealousy? how does jealousy come into this?
Anybody found a way to STOP loving U2?
Well if you like U2 so much that your partner feels they have to compete for your affection, then yes, that IS a problem. And it is your problem. Simple as that. People need to grow up and realize how real life works.
EDIT: And that applies to both men and women.
I think you're wrong here.
But I'm glad I don't have a jealous partner now. I could never live with someone again who wants my undivided attention and thinks that I cannot have other things in my life that are important for me emotionally. I would simply be very unhappy if that happened again, and I know this because I've experienced it.
Some people just need more freedom than others, and sometimes a partner is able to accept that and be tolerant and sometimes he/she isn't. There is no generalisation, people are different. U2 have been a great source of joy in my life, and I would never let anyone take that away from me. People who love me don't even try to.
As if many others haven't already said virtually the same thing.
You don't have to let go of your passion for U2. Not even slightly. You just have to be a grown up about it. Your spouse doesn't want to hear all the things you'd like to do to Bono, or how you'd rather be with him. You'd have to be in a position like that of your spouse to know how they really feel. If your life revolves around U2, everyday is U2, every dinner conversation about U2, etc., then yeah it is a problem and again.. it's your problem.
Anybody found a way to STOP loving U2? Any U2 song that if played over and over could be like detoxing???? The antidote for loving U2???
1) Read the lyrics to Elevation 10 times in a row and be amazed by its stupidity.
2) Refrain from playing their records for 3 months. Them play them all at random and realise that they have had better days and you saw them when they were at their peak..
Maybe that helps.
In all seriousness. Counceling is definately an option here. No band in his galaxy is worth marriageproblems and that includes our 50 year old heroes from Dublin. I don't think the band is the real issue here but that is a bit difficult to judge from behind a computer. Good luck!
may i just say you have excellent taste in u2 songs.Unfortunately, playing their new stuff wont put me off as I think NLOTH overall is incredible. Magnificent being one of my favourite U2 songs along with 11 Clock Tick Tock and All I Want Is You.
I'm still toast for Tampa next week but ah well. At least I know I'll be seeing them next year. If I wasn't I might be pushing for Tampa.
He could claim he was going to Atlanta on business...just to buy himself an extra 12 hours or so...
/tiredoldbluecrackjoke
You mean Atlanta, Germany?
Are you sure about Tampa? It's like an overnight trip.