LarryMullen's POPAngel
Blue Crack Distributor
I think I've just about come to the end of my rope when it comes to the single thing.
I know, "you'll find it when you least expect it", "don't look for it", etc. It's not like I'm peeking around every corner saying, "Hark? Is that The One I see right over there?". It's just that when I see someone I may want to talk to I have zero confidence, and because of that, most of the time don't even bother talking to them at all. And if I do, 99% of the time it blows up in my face, therefore making me even more gunshy the next time a situation like that arises. Another thing I am at fault for is anytime I do see someone looking my way, I freeze up, which probably makes me look stuck up, or even worse I misjudge and think they are looking at me, when it turns out who they're really looking at is someone behind me (classic embarrassing situation scenario).
I realize I'm not gorgeous, have a model figure, or possess any of that other stuff that most everyone else with a signifigant other has, but I don't think I'm all that bad, either. I've dated a bit in the past year so I know I'm not a complete troll, but I just want something more. I guess better opportunities to meet people more aligned with my interests? Of course if I do happen to meet them, I'll immediately clam up or set myself up for another fall. I'm truly at a loss...
If anyone has ever read Chuck Klosterman's book, "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs", I think he makes an excellent point in his essay "This Is Emo" . We've all seen too many movies where that perfect, "fake love", exists, like When Harry Met Sally..., Say Anything...", and apparently all other movies ending with "...". Anyway, this idea of perfect love is part of what I think is my problem. Meaningless dates don't add up to much for me. I want something to hit me right away, to instantly connect and to never look back. I want Lloyd Dobler, I want that part in Garden State where Zack Braff tells Natalie Portman he feels like he's home, I want the lobster scene from Annie Hall.
I guess I want too much... I'll stop rambling now because most of you are probably tired of listening to me bitch and moan about being a singleton after all this time.
I know, "you'll find it when you least expect it", "don't look for it", etc. It's not like I'm peeking around every corner saying, "Hark? Is that The One I see right over there?". It's just that when I see someone I may want to talk to I have zero confidence, and because of that, most of the time don't even bother talking to them at all. And if I do, 99% of the time it blows up in my face, therefore making me even more gunshy the next time a situation like that arises. Another thing I am at fault for is anytime I do see someone looking my way, I freeze up, which probably makes me look stuck up, or even worse I misjudge and think they are looking at me, when it turns out who they're really looking at is someone behind me (classic embarrassing situation scenario).
I realize I'm not gorgeous, have a model figure, or possess any of that other stuff that most everyone else with a signifigant other has, but I don't think I'm all that bad, either. I've dated a bit in the past year so I know I'm not a complete troll, but I just want something more. I guess better opportunities to meet people more aligned with my interests? Of course if I do happen to meet them, I'll immediately clam up or set myself up for another fall. I'm truly at a loss...
If anyone has ever read Chuck Klosterman's book, "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs", I think he makes an excellent point in his essay "This Is Emo" . We've all seen too many movies where that perfect, "fake love", exists, like When Harry Met Sally..., Say Anything...", and apparently all other movies ending with "...". Anyway, this idea of perfect love is part of what I think is my problem. Meaningless dates don't add up to much for me. I want something to hit me right away, to instantly connect and to never look back. I want Lloyd Dobler, I want that part in Garden State where Zack Braff tells Natalie Portman he feels like he's home, I want the lobster scene from Annie Hall.
I guess I want too much... I'll stop rambling now because most of you are probably tired of listening to me bitch and moan about being a singleton after all this time.