I passed a car on my way home from work this evening painted with "thank you for voting yes on proposition 8. God loves you and so do I" She had Tennessee plates I wanted to tell her to go home.
this is what i just don't understand.
nathan, INDY -- can you understand just how incredibly hurtful the entire "Yes" campaign was, and how incredibly hurtful *all* of the "arguments" against same-sex marriage are?
you see, it's not so much that marriage is something i lie awake at night dreaming about, like it's some kind of proverbial pony. i don't stare out the window at the rain and wish to be married. in fact, it's likely that something along the lines of same-sex marriage will surface in the District of Columbia in 2009. were it to pass (and it's likely it would -- yes, this is a very black city, but it's also a very liberal city, and a very gay city), i don't think that Memphis and i would be first in line. i expect that one day, probably not too far away, we'll do something official.
so it's not so much that i pine for marriage, it's that the opposition (and their rationalizations) to my getting married guts me. it's easier today than ever before, but i don't think straight people truly understand just what an act of courage it is to actually come out. it's terrifying for most, and it's a long process of questioning your own self worth after growing up where "that's so gay" and "faggot" and "dyke" and "cocksucker" are commonplace playground insults. you're terrified that you'll be rejected by friends and family, and you're terrified that maybe, deep down, there is something wrong with you.
and the "Yes" crowd, the religious bigots, what they do is cut straight to these deep down fears and anxieties and they tell you, "you know what? your family
should reject you, your friends
should reject you, there really
is something wrong with you, you have no place here, you have no place at the table, no matter what you do with your life, it is negated by the very fact that you are and always will be nothing more than a faggot in my eyes." that is the message that comes across in those cheery yellow signs with the blue children holding hands -- like they're forming a human chain of disapproval and exclusion and telling you to get the hell out and stay out of their sight, because they're disgusted by your very existence.
it's like someone has taken all the work that you've done in being honest with yourself, and accepting yourself, accepting that, yes, you are a bit different, and, yes, your life will be a bit different, and, yes, you might stand out in a crowd, and they've crushed it. and enjoyed crushing it.
it is no different than racism. it is no different than sexism.
and it's all wrapped up in garbage, anti-intellectual "arguments" about "activist judges" and what's "natural" and then topped with a big bow of sanctimony.
i remain unchanged in my opinion that, at the root of all, and i do mean *all*, "arguments" against same-sex marriage are rooted in bigotry. it's dressed up in sanctimony and "children" garbage, but it's all window dressing to a deeply held conviction, one that isn't even religious, a conviction that uses religion as an excuse, as invalid an excuse as the rest of the "children/schools" garbage.
no, there aren't perfect parallels to the civil rights movement of the 50s and 60s, but in 20 years time, the "Yes" crowd will be remembered as the Bull Connors and Strom Thurmond and George Wallace's of this particular age.