Ask the lesbian

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do you ever feel like a novelty act? like people seek to gain some sense of "edge" in their own lives through hanging out with gay people? as in, they think that being straight, yet having friends who are gay, and getting to say, "well some of my best friends are gay/i have a gay friend, jack/jill," makes them cooler-than-thou? if so, does this bother you? do you enjoy the attention or resent being an accessory? both? neither?
 
it's funny when people find out you are gay and start with the "my cousin is gay" or "i have a gay friend or neighbor". it's like their way of saying I accept you because of this or I understand because of this.
 
Irvine511 said:
do you ever feel like a novelty act? like people seek to gain some sense of "edge" in their own lives through hanging out with gay people? as in, they think that being straight, yet having friends who are gay, and getting to say, "well some of my best friends are gay/i have a gay friend, jack/jill," makes them cooler-than-thou? if so, does this bother you? do you enjoy the attention or resent being an accessory? both? neither?

Hmmm, I have 4 people in my life that I adore that are gay and I don't see myself as their "straight" novelty act nor are they mine. I think my friends are the best part of me because they bring out the best in me (or worse depending on the situation).

However, I do see where you are coming from because in some of my other social circles I feel like the token "Latina/minority" friend. Great thread BTW!!!
 
do you think that gay marriage will actually lower the divorce rate in the US due to the long-lasting, monogamous, life-long nature of many lesbian relationships?

what can lesbians teach straight people? aren't lesbians actually better at commitment and monogamy than straight people? isn't the burden of proof that gay marriage somehow cheapens the definiton of marriage entirely on the shoulders of straight people?

(my, these aren't leading questions, are they ;) )
 
Irvine511 said:
do you ever feel like a novelty act? like people seek to gain some sense of "edge" in their own lives through hanging out with gay people? as in, they think that being straight, yet having friends who are gay, and getting to say, "well some of my best friends are gay/i have a gay friend, jack/jill," makes them cooler-than-thou? if so, does this bother you? do you enjoy the attention or resent being an accessory? both? neither?

I haven't really experienced this, with the exception that first girlfriend was a girl "experimenting".

Oh but I get the "I have a gay friend" thing said to me all the time. The best is when you have someone telling you "I have a friend who's gay he/ she going straight because they want a family" I have had that twice in my life.:huh:
 
Irvine511 said:
do you think that gay marriage will actually lower the divorce rate in the US due to the long-lasting, monogamous, life-long nature of many lesbian relationships?

what can lesbians teach straight people? aren't lesbians actually better at commitment and monogamy than straight people? isn't the burden of proof that gay marriage somehow cheapens the definiton of marriage entirely on the shoulders of straight people?

(my, these aren't leading questions, are they ;) )

The entire "sanctity of marriage" as people's reasoning, is probably one of the weakest political arguments this nation has ever had.

I don't think divorce rates will change their minds, for the most of them turn a blind eye on the fact that 50% of their church is on their at least 2nd marriage.
 
Do Miss America said:




Oh but I get the "I have a gay friend" thing said to me all the time.



You should respond

"Really? You seem like such a nice, normal person, no one would ever suspect."
“Come to think of it I have wondered about some of your wardrobe selections.”
 
it does make me a little sad. i know it's meant in a good way, but it still reminds me that my sexuality is a disappointment to many people who love me very much, and no less for it.
 
Why is it that gays, men and women, get more 'press' for being randy than straight people? eg every time I open up gay literature at a bookstore, it's poems (albeit academic) about sensuality, touch, sex etc.

Another eg is that gay tv shows almost always have sex in them and more sexual innuendos than other shows.

foray
 
:eyebrow:

you think "will and grace" has more sex in it than "friends" or "desperate housewives"?

anyway, i've had my "ask the homo" thread, i'll defer to the lesbian ...

sorry.

:reject:
 
foray said:
Why is it that gays, men and women, get more 'press' for being randy than straight people? eg every time I open up gay literature at a bookstore, it's poems (albeit academic) about sensuality, touch, sex etc.

Another eg is that gay tv shows almost always have sex in them and more sexual innuendos than other shows.

foray

You've had over a 100 years of mainstream literature, 50 years of TV etc of straight sexual inuendo. You are so use to it that you don't even see it anymore, it's been there for so long. Our sex is still taboo, so our inuendo is still shocking therefore memorabe.

When people watch 'Friends' they don't say straight people are like this, because straight people have all the shows. So there are what maybe 2 shows on network TV that have fultime gay members? Therefore gay people are judged by those few characters.

It's ridiculous, step back next time and take it in context.
 
Just the intelligent answer I was looking for. I know it is ridiculous, and I know that people judge gays based on what they see on the telly. Another eg is when I am watching a program made by gays for gays, it almost always has a segment on (1) safe sex or (2) gay bars and where to hang out. I just wonder why. Btw, I was thinking more of Queer as Folk rather than Will And Grace.

foray
 
foray said:
Just the intelligent answer I was looking for. I know it is ridiculous, and I know that people judge gays based on what they see on the telly. Another eg is when I am watching a program made by gays for gays, it almost always has a segment on (1) safe sex or (2) gay bars and where to hang out. I just wonder why. Btw, I was thinking more of Queer as Folk rather than Will And Grace.

foray

I was thinking more mainstream media. But if you're going to talk about cable then you only have to look as far as Sex in the City to do a comparison.
 
Q - Any other gays in the family???

A - Doozer and my nephew only scratch the surface in our family; there are other gay relatives in No. CA.....I don't know much about them....but its true...:shrug:
 
I have a distant cousin on my mom's side. But to be honest I don't even know if he's a 4th 5th or 6th. We're all pretty close and just call each other cousins.
 
foray said:
Btw, I was thinking more of Queer as Folk rather than Will And Grace.

foray


hey, i agree about QAF. while i enjoy it, both for the ultra-melodrama and the soft core gay sex, i do think it's a bit over-the-top and presents gay life in unrealistic terms. you know, like TV shows always do. ;)

as unrealistic to being gay as "sex in the city" (which i also love) is to being single and female in new york.

i think part of hte point of QAF was to give gay people something akin to the soft core you can find on premium cable. that said, my life is certainly nothing like that, and if you read the fine print at the end of the show, it says somethign to the effect of "QAF is a celebration of the lives of a particular group of gay people, it is not intended to be an accurate representation of the entire homosexual population."
 
So, are gay, lesbian, bi folk hornier than the straight folk?

Just curious 'cause I'm a "closet" bi and was just wondering. I say I'm a "closet" bi because my extended family doesn't have a clue (far as I know). My hubby knows and I want to add that I am strictly monogamous in thought and action. It's a bit complicated but, it's worth it! I love him all too much!!! And, I want to be there for him 100%.
 
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