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#21 |
Blue Crack Addict
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 27,766
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The Dukes of Hazzard
__________________Race humor creates road hazard Release Date: 2005 Ebert Rating: * BY ROGER EBERT / Aug 5, 2005 "The Dukes of Hazzard" is a comedy about two cousins who are closer'n brothers, and their car, which is smarter'n they are. It's a retread of a sitcom that ran from about 1979 to 1985, years during which I was able to find better ways to pass my time. Yes, it is still another TV program I have never ever seen. As this list grows, it provides more and more clues about why I am so smart and cheerful. The movie stars Johnny Knoxville, from "Jackass," Seann William Scott, from "American Wedding," and Jessica Simpson, from Mars. Judging by her recent conversation on TV with Dean Richards, Simpson is so remarkably uninformed that she should sue the public schools of Abilene, Texas, or maybe they should sue her. On the day he won his seventh Tour de France, not many people could say, as she did, that they had no idea who Lance Armstrong was. Of course you don't have to be smart to get into "The Dukes of Hazzard." But people like Willie Nelson and Burt Reynolds should have been smart enough to stay out of it. Here is a lame-brained, outdated wheeze about a couple of good ol' boys who roar around the back roads of the South in the General Lee, their beloved 1969 Dodge Charger. As it happens, I also drove a 1969 Dodge Charger. You could have told them apart because mine did not have a Confederate flag painted on the roof. Scott and Knoxville play Bo Duke and Luke Duke; the absence of a Puke Duke is a sadly missed opportunity. They deliver moonshine manufactured by their Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson), and depend on the General to outrun the forces of Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane (M.C. Gainey). The movie even has one of those obligatory scenes where the car is racing along when there's a quick cut to a gigantic Mack truck, its horn blasting as it bears down on them. They steer out of the way at the last possible moment. That giant Mack truck keeps busy in the movies, turning up again and again during chase scenes and always just barely missing the car containing the heroes, but this is the first time I have seen it making 60 mph down a single-lane dirt track. Simpson plays Daisy Duke, whose short shorts became so famous on TV that they were known as "Daisy Dukes." She models them to a certain effect in a few brief scenes, but is missing from most of the movie. Maybe she isn't even smart enough to wear shorts. I learn from the Internet that Simpson has a dog named Daisy, but have been unable to learn if she named it before or after being signed for the role, and whether the dog is named after the character, the shorts, the flower, or perhaps (a long shot) Daisy Duck. The local ruler is Boss Jefferson Davis Hogg (Burt Reynolds), "the meanest man in Hazzard County," who issues orders to the Sheriff and everybody else, and has a secret plan to strip-mine the county and turn it into a wasteland. I wonder if there were moments when Reynolds reflected that, karma-wise, this movie was the second half of what "Smokey and the Bandit" was the first half of. There are a lot of scenes in the movie where the General is racing down back roads at high speeds and becomes airborne, leaping across ditches, rivers and suchlike, miraculously without breaking the moonshine bottles. Surely if you have seen, say, 12 scenes of a car flying through the air, you are not consumed by a need to see 12 more. There is a NASCAR race in the film, and some amusing dialogue about car sponsorship. You know the film is set in modern times because along with Castrol and Coke, one of the car sponsors is Yahoo! I noted one immortal passage of dialogue, about a charity that is raising money for "one of the bifidas." I was also amused by mention of "The Al Unser Jr. Story," an "audiobook narrated by Laurence Fishburne." The movie has one offensive scene, alas, that doesn't belong in a contemporary comedy. Bo and Luke are involved in a mishap that causes their faces to be blackened with soot, and then, wouldn't you know, they drive into an African-American neighborhood, where their car is surrounded by ominous young men who are not amused by blackface, or by the Confederate flag painted on the car. I was hoping maybe the boyz n the hood would carjack the General, which would provide a fresh twist to the story, but no, the scene sinks into the mire of its own despond. |
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#22 | |
Neon Zebra
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: southern nevada
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#23 |
Blue Crack Distributor
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: I'll be up with the sun, I'm not coming down...
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Jessica, Britney, Faith, Christina (before she spelled it with an "X"), Hilary, Lindsay.
Put em all in a blender and you'll come out with a Barbie doll. ![]() |
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#24 | |
War Child
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: What time is it in the world?
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#25 |
Offishul Kitteh Doctor
Forum Moderator Join Date: Aug 2002
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I'm only interested to see it because it was directed by the guy from Super Troopers
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#26 |
Blue Crack Addict
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: A far distance down.
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It could be educational
for those of us that don't understand the nuisances of Southern culture. |
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#27 | |
Blue Crack Addict
Join Date: Apr 2002
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#28 |
War Child
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: What time is it in the world?
Posts: 742
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Jessica Simpson called Daisy Duke an "iconish" figure.
![]() Either this is an act or she is really, really, really that dumb and stupid. Yo Nick, what were you thinking? You got have SOME brains with the beauty, right? |
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#29 | |
Rock n' Roll Doggie
FOB Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Freaked out in a Moonage Daydream, oh yeah!
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Or, as Eminem has so delicately phrased it, "Nick, I ain't ever seen an ass like that." |
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#30 | |
Rock n' Roll Doggie
FOB Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Freaked out in a Moonage Daydream, oh yeah!
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#31 | |
Blue Crack Addict
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: basking in my post-concert glow still mesmerized by the orbit of his hips..Also Holding Bono Close as he requested.
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#32 |
Blue Crack Distributor
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: small town Pennsylvania, USA
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I absolutely have no desire to see this movie.
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Into the heart of a child... ![]() |
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#33 |
The Fly
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 35
Local Time: 05:18 PM
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Im from the south. Ive lived in the south for decades. Therefore, I am an authority on southern culture and I say...
There is no such thing as southern culture. The south is the armpit of the Republic. With the exception of flannery o connor and william faulkner, the south is basically good for moonshine and evangelism and thats about it..although the florida coastline is nice. Also..I heard Dukes of Hazzard sucked and I didnt have that much interest in seeing it anyway. Its a shame that a pair noble spirits such as willie nelson and johhny knoxville should have to soil their pristine names by slumming with jessica simpson in a grade d remake of crappy southern camp show that appealed mostly to frat boy pseudo rednecks and drunks. |
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#34 |
Blue Crack Addict
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: In the dog house
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Jessica - make-up - air brushing - strategic camera angle = nothing special
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#35 |
Blue Crack Addict
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: basking in my post-concert glow still mesmerized by the orbit of his hips..Also Holding Bono Close as he requested.
Posts: 25,776
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well ok I guess we are all wrong:
[q]'Dukes of Hazzard' wreak havoc at U.S. box office Sunday August 7 2:29 PM ET The South rose again at the box office in North America as "The Dukes of Hazzard" raced to the top in its first weekend of release. The big-screen adaptation of the 1980s TV show about two good' ol boys, their Dodge Charger and a buxom cousin, sold an estimated $30.6 million worth of tickets in its first three days, distributor Warner Bros. Pictures said on Sunday. The film, which cost $53 million to make, opened at the upper end of forecasts. The studio's distribution president, Dan Fellman, said he would have been happy with a $25 million opening. Last weekend's champion, "Wedding Crashers," slipped to No. 2 with $16.5 million, followed by "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" with $10.6 million, both in their third weekends. Their respective totals rose to $144.1 million and $169 million. All three films came from Time Warner Inc., whose Warner Bros. unit handled "Dukes" and "Charlie," while "Wedding Crashers" came from its New Line Cinema arm. The media giant also shone at No. 5 with "Must Love Dogs" (Warner Bros., $7.4 million) and at No. 6 with the French-made documentary "March of the Penguins" (Warner Independent Pictures, $7.1 million). The latter film, one of the most acclaimed releases in a generally woeful year at the box office, jumped four places in its first weekend of wide release. Released seven weeks ago, the film tracks the valiant courtship, mating and child-rearing rituals of Antarctic penguins. It has earned $26.4 million to date. "Dukes of Hazzard" stars Seann William Scott and Johnny Knoxville -- hardly marquee names -- alongside tabloid staple Jessica Simpson, a middling pop singer noted for conveying a ditzy image in a reality TV show. Willie Nelson and Burt Reynolds co-star. The studio said about two-thirds of the audience was aged under 25, indicating that older moviegoers who grew up with the show were not strongly inclined to revisit Hazzard County. Before Warner Bros. could release "Dukes of Hazzard," it agreed to pay $17.5 million in an out-of-court settlement to a group of people who held rights to the TV show, and whose litigation threatened to hold up the film's release. A delay would have been harmful to the studio since it was already committed to a major advertising campaign. Filling out the top five, the Walt Disney Co. superhero saga "Sky High," starring Disney stalwart Kurt Russell, slipped one place to No. 4 with $9.1 million in its second weekend. Two recent bombs tumbled down the charts. The military thriller "Stealth" slid three places to No. 7 with $5.8 million, taking the 10-day haul for the picture to $24.5 million. The cloning thriller "The Island" was also down three places, to No. 10, with $3.1 million, and a three-week haul of $30.9 million. Each cost about $120 million to make. "Stealth" was released by Columbia Pictures, a unit of Sony Corp. , "The Island" was a co-production between closely held domestic distributor DreamWorks SKG Inc. and Warner Bros., which is handling the foreign release.[/q] |
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#36 |
ONE
love, blood, life Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: new york city
Posts: 14,534
Local Time: 07:18 PM
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I'm not a fan of vanilla-ish women. Way too bland and not enough original character. Aesthetically pleasing, sure, but no personality whatsoever. Just way too...white and suburban for me.
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#37 | |
Rock n' Roll Doggie
ALL ACCESS Join Date: Mar 2004
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#38 | |||||
Rock n' Roll Doggie
ALL ACCESS Join Date: Dec 2002
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