My first Fic. - "Lemon" (pt 1) (MacPhisto related) - U2 Feedback

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Old 10-01-2005, 12:18 PM   #1
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My first Fic. - "Lemon" (pt 1) (MacPhisto related)

Hi, I'm new here. Well, sort of. Been a lurker for a long while now, but just haven't posted yet.

My name is Sarah.

I've always enjoyed reading the fic here, and don' think I could ever compare to how good you guys are, but I made an attempt at writing some a few days ago.

Note: everything in this story is obviously made up. i dont know the band, never even met them. there's even no such thing as a "fuzz gallery" either (you'll see what i'm talking about later in the story, LOL)... and in the story Bono hasn't even been married yet. i'll keep this story nice and clean. but it will involve some romance, but won't go too far. ;-)

I was trying to decide on what time period this should take place in.. so I'm gong for the post ZooTV era.

OKAY! Part 1...


Jeannie awakes to find herself in a "Fuzzball" art gallery in the city... not

sure how she got there. Fuzzballs? Artwork people have created using

fuzzyballs. Sculptures.. house decorations, lamp shades, dresses, shoes, animal

replicas. God knows what. This was weird.
Finding herself on a lounge seat in the back.. she tries to remember anything

from before she fell asleep. She can't. She sees a text message alert on her

cellphone from her friend Karen... "Sorry! I had to go! Left some cash in your

bag for a taxi! CYA tomorrow!" She notices the time on her phone "11:11pm".
Hmm, Jeannie thought. None of this is making any sense.
She could remember going out for drinks with Karen for lunch.. yes lunch. But

nothing after that. Maybe she drank too much. Of course.. why the hell'd she be

in a.. erm.. Fuzzball gallery? What the hell? She was always a little sensitive

to alcohol. Getting drunk even on a half a can of beer. She did feel a little

dizzy and a weird feeling as if she was about to throw up all over the gallery


Shaking her head.. she gets up and looks around and realizes they must be

The lights are all dimmed.. nobody is around... Through the front glass door,

she can see its nighttime. Tries to open it... but to no avail. "DAMNIT!!" she

yells, stomping her foot and throwing down her bag.
She looks around for security, but sees none. A janitor? None..
Nothing. What the hell is this? "HELLO?? ANYOBODY HERE??" she calls out.


She picks up her cellphone and proceeds to call Karen. But there's no signal.

"GREAT!! I get drunk... end up locked in a fucking Fuzzball Gallery? and my

best friend leaves me for.. some fucking idiot Fuzzball obsessed guy she met

here, I'm am sure... Lovely!!!!"

Feeling like shes's about to throw up again, she looks around for a bathroom..

or a trashcan.
All there are are fucking fuzzball artwork pieces all over the place...
So she goes upstairs. "Ahhh! A Bathroom! THANKYOU JESUS!" turns on the light

and looks in the mirror. "Oh god, what the hell happened to me?" hair in

dissaray and dried up drool on the side of her mouth. LOL.
She washes her face up and decides she's not gonna vomit afterall... and


"Ahh, that was fucking brilliant..." she says to herself as she finds herself

halfway down the stairs again.
She hears a noise. "Oh fuck. Great.. its probably security and they're gonna

think I'm breaking and entering.".. and stops in her tracks.

She hears someone humming. A male voice.
Humming something familiar. She can't place what it is.

"dum dum de mmmmmm la la mmm.." the humming continues.

Then she hears a crash.. followed by a bunch of mumbled cursing. "Fuck.. fuck!"
Jeannie finds herself about to laugh out loud, but stifles herself.

Crouching on an upper step.. she tries to get a view of whoever this is..

peaking around the side of the stairwell. Jeannie, a sneaky pest, just loves

this kind of stalking. Snickering to herself in her mind... she listens to this

mystery person cursing up a storm and more sounds of what apparently is a new

mess this other person has once again made.

She hears him start to walk closer to the stairwell, and runs back upstairs and

hide in the bathroom... but drops her phone from her bag. Making a very loud


"What the hell? Who's there?" the voice calls out... with a sweet accent.
"Ahh shit.".. she says to herself under her breath... running to a nearby door

she noticed was opened. Then her phone starts ringing.
That crazy ringtone... U2's "Lemon". Jeannie's absolute favorite band. A band

she's loved since she was a wee lass. Bono was her hero. His lyrics changed

her life forever. Words she grew up with and into adulthood.
It was always U2 that touched her soul like no other.
A musician now herself... music is her life. Her blood. Her air.
Without music, she'd have no idea where she'd be right now. Whenever she'd lose

her way... all she had to do was listen to U2.. and she was back Home.

She looks at her cellphone and sees its Karen. "Bitch" she thinks to herself...

Closing the door behind her, she can hear the man coming up the stairs

mumbling.. and then a series of loud bumps. "OW! FUCKING *bump* BLOODY HELL!!

*bump bump*" the man yelps out. Snickering to herself.. she realizes he must

have fallen down the steps. HA HA HA!!
Oh yes.. she was being sinister... she started to feel bad about it...but

quickly changed her mind when she hears him screech out.. "YOU BLOODY IDIOT, IM


Coming back up the steps.. he's mumbling something inaudible to himself.

"Alright! Come on out!" he calls out... in this funny voice.
"Look what you've done to me!!! You've made me mess up my hair!! And my poor


She can't hold back laughing anymore.. and he hears her behind the door and

grabs the doorknob. But it won't open. "Unlock the door, or I'm gonna.. um... I

don't know. ow.. my feckin' head!!"

He sees a key in a little fuzzball box next to the water fountain by the door

and decides to try it on this door. It opens...

"A-HA!! Gotcha!!" he says, happy with himself. "Who are you! And look what

you've done to me! You evil... little.."

Jeannie.. who was previously trying to pry open the door across the room with a

credit card.. turns around and finally sees who it is she's been stalking. Or

should we say..he stalking her. her eyes intensely locked with his. eyes all

too familiar to her. Turning as white as a ghost and drops her bag, the card

.. and the doorknob (as it falls off.. haha)

The man stops in his tracks and looks right at Jeannie... "Um... erm.. I'm very

sorry!" he says.

Her heart is pounding about a million miles a minute and then passes out,

collapsing on the floor.

(an hour later? who knows..)

"Hey you! Rise and shine!" the man says kneeling next to her on the lounge

couch. cheerfully, jokingly.. as Jeannie starts to come out of her.. um...


"You must've hit your head! I thought maybe my stinky sparkley shoes would be

enough for sniffing salt.. but apparently its not as strong as I thought!


Her eyes begin to come into focus and hears him rambling about and realizes

what happened before this was not a dream afterall.

"Ya feeling better, m'lady?" he asks, softly.

"I think I.. OW! my head.. what the feck.." Jeannie winces... and sees him

before her.

"Yeah, the shock of seeing my ugly outfit must have made you pass out. It was

quite a funny sight actually!" the man jokes. Trying to get her to laugh.. then

again, he was sort of serious. Wearing a crazy gold colored suit, and matching

shoes.. and worn off make-up on his face. Devil horn head-piece added to his

"costume".. but missing one horn. LOL.

"Then, you woke up again at one point, and threw up all over my spectacular

shoes! You're in a lot of trouble now!" he says... as she's about to say

something.. embarrassed...

"I'm only joking, of course. Well, about you being in trouble.. but you really

did throw up on me shoes. But thats okay. I'm not mad.." he says grinning.

"Hi, my name is Mac! But you can call me MacPhisto" he introduces himself,


"You... um... you're. ("ow..") oh shit.." she says.. not able to get the words

out... pointing... and grabbing her head.

"Yep! That crazy little Irish devil..."

"Bono?!?!" she starts laughing.. but quickly grabbing the back of her head

again. "I'm Jeannie..." "Ouch... what the hell did I hit my head on??"

"Jeannie...", he repeats to himself, with that lovely Irish accent... smiling.

"Hey, lemme get you some more ice for that.." he says, getting up.

"ice? there's ice in this fuzz infested, odd place?"

"haha!! yes, m'lady! but even that has fuzz in it..."


"Only joking of course, m'lady... then again!!"

he goes off to get some ice downstairs... as she sits up and shakes her head...

trying to figure out what the hell just happened.

"MacPhisto..." she says to herself... "Bono.. MacPhisto.... MacPhisto is

Bono... what the hell? Oh.. no it can't be..."
"Maybe I'm trapped in Fuzz twilight zone...".

The man.. whom for all of these years.. she'd grown up with his words.. his

voice. Ah.. that voice...
She always felt her soul connected to his. Something she could never quite

explain. Even though she'd never met Bono... she felt like she'd in a sense

gotten to know him through his music. It was the most beautiful soul she'd

ever known.. and that music born from it... touched her so like nothing ever

before. Oh yes, she always fancied him... but she wasn't some kind of stalker

fan.. or delirious lunatic. LOL. Well, she is a lunatic.. LOL.. but not in that


It couldn't really be Bono....And Why would he be here?

"I'm back!!" she hears him cheerfully call from the hallway.

"Heres some ice!! But no fuzz! Those things are frightening, little fuckers.."

"thankyou very much.." she says, reaching for the homeade ice pack..."that was

very nice of you.. Mac.", smiling and still with her head in a whirl.. trying

to figure out if this is just all a dream.. or a concussion..

"so, what were you doing hiding about from me, young lady?" mac asks, with the

wildest grin across his face.

still in shock... at seeing Bono in front of her.. or.. um MacPhisto... she

subconsciously finds herself studying his face to see if its really him, as

he's looking at his damaged shoe. those eyes. beautiful and blue.. and so,

unmistakingly bono's. sunglasses.. ha. she warmly laughs to herself..

"whats so funny?" mac grins.

"oh.. nothing. sorry.." embarrased a little.

"what. whaaaaat.."

"nothing" jeannie starts laughing.

"ahh come on, do i have to force it out of ya?" he laughs.. ready to tickle

her. as if he already knew that she was horrifically ticklish. grinning that

irrestistable grin of his that she's always loved so much.

"i was just thinking to myself... " she starts.. then pauses...

"hmm... thinking to yourself. now that sounds scary..." he says, grinning

again. reaching up to feel his missing devil horn.

"ahh nothing. i was wondering how in the hell i got stuck in a fuzz gallery of

all places!" chuckling.

"me too!" he says.. looking almost suprised and curious.

"what do you mean?"

"well, i just woke up a few hours ago... and found myself passed out in the

mens room... covered in a bunch of fuzzballs... and no one else was here and i

couldnt get out the doors."

"me too! im not even sure how i got here though..."

"what do you mean?" he asks.

"all i remember is waking up this morning, well.. late morning...and went to

lunch with my friend karen and we had some drinks and next thing i knew i was

waking up on the lounge seat here.. and i guess she left me here. i dont even

remember coming here. i dont remember anything.."

"hmmm.." he says... looking down.. thinking to himself...

"whatcha thinking?" she studies him for a moment... noticing he looks troubled.

"same thing here. ive never even heard of this place. last thing i knew i was

in Dublin... and i wake up here. its definitely the United States here, right?

oh yes, what other country would have such a silly gallery such as this.."


"ahh... very funny..." jeannie says sarcastically looking at mac/bono.. who's

still looking at his shoe.

"seriously.. i honestly dont know how i got here...", looking back up from the

aformentioned shoe.

"I had just found myself here about an hour before i found you..."
"I was spending some time with my friend... Adam... which I'm sure you know of.. Clayton..", as he watches her face to see her reaction.
"I was trying to convince him to buy a Chichilla at a Dublin pet store.."

"a chinchilla?!?!" jeannie asks, cracking up.

"yup! a chinchilla. i thought he should try something new. you know? something

fluffy... and takes dust baths... and doesnt bark, or meow... or sing and meet

with world politicians and has stinky feet.." he finishes with a smirk.

"well, of course... the mighty chinchilla could teach George Bush a few lessons

about bathing.. " jeannie jokes back.

"actually, i could tell ya some things regarding that.... but i think i'll wait

till a later time actually. the FBI might be listenin' in...", scratching his


"oh this is gonna be a very interesting night.." jeannie laughs..

Bono loved her laugh. Just something about it... made him light up inside...

and he wasn't sure why. The first time their eyes met... he felt like he'd

known them forever. They were beautiful, and so kind. Golden brown that matched

her long dark hair that flowed around her cheeks.
He could tell she loved his sense of humor and felt an odd connection. She was

definitely someone he would like to get to know better, and what he was once

thinking was a curse, being locked in this weird place.. was now turning out to

be a blessing.

she obviously knew who he was...
thinking to himself..why hasn't she asked me anything about that yet? was she a

why the hell am i thinking all of this about someone i've only known for an


"you think any of the phones might work in this place?" she asks.. knocking him

out of his deep thought...

"wha.. Oh... i tried that already. they dont. maybe they turn them off or

something after hours..." he says, realizing what he just said, kind of made no

sense... arousing a smile from her face as he makes a face at himself.

"hey... i heard your phone ringing when you were hiding from me earlier..."

"yeah.. um... actually..." she starts..

"I have to say..Nice ringtone ya have" he smiles.. giving her a wink that sends

butterflies to her stomach.

"Well..." she starts to say... blushing...

"ya know... lemon's are an interesting fruit. supposedly, some people claim

that lemon juice, from an actual lemon, can cure certain skin diseases and help

with sinus problems.." he starts rambling.
Yep, bono.. well known for being able to find a conversation about almost

anything.. at anytime... off the top of his head.

she just sits there.. smiling at him, as hes going on and on. she's amused with

his charm... and how hes obviously amusing himself... as hes talking away about

the secret of Lemons. heh.

"so, did you like my story?" he laughs, smiling at Jeannie.

"Of course. for some odd reason, I really did.." smiling back...

"wow, i think this is gonna be the beginning of a beauuuutiful friendship!" he

says in a funny MacPhisto voice...

(part 2 later..)

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Old 10-01-2005, 12:45 PM   #2
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Welcome You are going to have a great time here

the username.... Big Garfield fan...have been since I was little

Great Story

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Old 10-01-2005, 01:52 PM   #3
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Glad you like my story so far!!

I had an original idea in my head for a long time, but as I started writing it, I realized it seemed to want to go into its own direction... and its kind of no fun when you, the writer, already know what's going to happen.. and I thought I might suprise myself a bit. Writing it... seeing where it goes... and based on responses... go on that, too.

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Old 10-01-2005, 06:36 PM   #4
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Welcome! This story is really great so far, and I just saw that part 2 is up! Plus, I love MacPhisto
Keep up the good work!
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