psychicsarah
The Fly
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2004
- Messages
- 109
An irish fairy tale
all resemblance to those we know and love is purely coincidental
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It was nine years ago to the day that The Mermaid had walked out of the sea onto the sparkling sands of the bay. Welcomed by the fey spirits of the land. She was full of anticipation & expectant: her new life beckoned.
Leaving her fins & tail behind her on the beach, she was in search of a truth she knew was out there somewhere. Though why she had to come onto dry land to find it, was at this moment beyond her…
She left behind a wealth of love & riches beneath the surf. But she had people to meet and things to do. Besides she knew that her Soul Mate was living in this land of warlocks, wizards and witches. This was the right time to hook up with him and come to some agreement. They had fallen out in their previous existence and there was still unfinished business between them.
Dripping with seaweed, scaly from her years in the deep, Mermaid chose a private moment whilst she morphed into the proverbial archetypal goddess with flowing golden hair, cleavage, and legs! Legs were a strange phenomenon for this Mermaid. To date she had had no use for them & certainly didn’t know how to use them. She could not get used to the different view when she looked downwards & chuckled with glee at the prospect of where these legs might lead her…
Smiling to herself as she flowed towards a fresh new chapter in her life, she felt Ok with her new image & identity. She had a date with destiny and she knew it. Ready for the worst the Dublin scene would throw at her, Mermaid embarked on her journey with enthusiasm. She had a date with destiny, and a sacred contract to fulfil that much she knew. But she had mixed feelings as to how to go about it. Mermaid dried herself off, the sea had been cold & unforgiving & her journey to the Fair Isle had not been easy. Choppy waters & gales in the heavens made her fear what was to come. But there was also a sense of excitement & the ever-present possibility of a bit of magic!
The Mermaid loved magic. She did not need to practise it, for it came naturally to her. ‘Focus counts for a lot’ she smiled to herself. ‘This next bit will be interesting’ she mused! Mermaid had prepared herself for this Irish jaunt ever since the age of 17. She always had an inner knowing that her path lead through the Celtic countries & indeed thus far, she had never been proven wrong. ‘There is always a first time’ she pondered. And this made her nervous. ‘What if she had got it wrong?’ The messages that had revolved around her head since a tender age had never been wrong. But she was anxious for the time when the magic faded. She hoped it never would, of course. But in the magical, mystical world, you have to be prepared for all eventualities!
Mermaid’s arrival in Dublin heralded a new & significant chapter in her life; she braced herself. Her saga to date had not been easy, that was for sure. Perhaps she was due a sea change, for it certainly sometimes felt as if she had been dealt the short straw. But this Mermaid was one of life’s survivors & had so far been a feisty match for most of what life had thrown at her.
Still there were times she wanted to walk back into the sea. The soothing deep waters were her homeland, & she often felt like a fish out of water traipsing the roads of gothic cities. She found it difficult to breathe at times, especially when the pollution stuck in her chest. Her sensitive aqueous lungs felt like giving up in the smoke filled clubs & music halls that had shaped a huge chunk of her life. Mermaid enjoyed the buzz of the nightlife, but she often felt like Cinderella who had to run home before midnight. So far, Prince Charming was no where in sight & she had learned to make do! ‘Still, she mused...perhaps he lived in Dublin or thereabouts…’
Mm, who was she kidding…she knew fine well he did!
Why?
‘Why’ was a question Mermaid had asked herself rather a lot lately, as her hopes, dreams & visions tumbled messily around her! Mermaid was in the process of realising that she had fallen foul of some illusion. She realised that someone, or something, out there in the ether had cast a spell. She had been seduced on several fronts & now needed to take emergency action. Drastic measures were necessary to unravel & sort out her situation. Always a past master at weaving her own magic, she had some important work to do…
Besides this horrific realisation, which filled her with dread & fear, Mermaid also remembered that so far so good; she had always landed on her fishy feet. On dry land, things had a habit of coming right for her, however awful they seemed at the time. Mermaid tried to reassure herself in the midst of her blind panic. She was determined that nothing & nobody was going to succeed in alienating her from her chosen destiny. She could certainly modify her plans. But she had to work out a plan B to get shot of the ‘Sliding Doors’ syndrome that had started to haunt her existence.
Mermaid realised that she had a mission to fulfil that sometimes inspired jealousy. Mermaid found this extremely burdensome. For she could not understand why people did not always warm to her or like her. She was possibly more human than she cared to admit.
But Mermaid had learned to live with a path that had become increasingly irksome & troublesome. Often choosing a reclusive existence rather than deal with the many issues she was so sensitised to. At times Mermaid found it very difficult to be in the company of the human psyche. She found it loaded & weighty, to the extent that she needed the sea to restore her light vibration. Sometimes Mermaid couldn’t cope with much at all. Other times though, her productivity & resilience shone like a beacon. Mermaid realised that lately, there had been few positive moments & she was finding it increasingly difficult to recharge her batteries. She needed to take action –quick!
She sat on the beach reflecting whether or not to walk back into her magical homeland beneath the waves: she was tempted! Indeed, she had been tempted, tried & tested rather a lot recently. She was at a loss. For many things had gone pear shaped in her life of late. Could she retrieve the situation? Should she even try? Now that was the question, & there was the rub…
‘How had it all come to this?’ she mused, as her four-legged companion & friend Harley played amongst the dunes. Harley was mad, unlike his po-faced seriously ‘deep’ owner- ‘that Scorpio Moon has a lot to answer for’, thought Harley as he went about his business.
Harley was a wired-to-the-moon Arian creature, darkly handsome with wicked ‘beady eyes’. He answered to various names, ‘Pretty’ being the most obvious: ‘Davor Sucker’ being the most suitably obscure. Well, he did like football!
Permanently affectionate & always licking things Harley was a tonic, lovely to come home to & amusing to look at: ‘A bit like my ideal man, thought Mermaid.’
‘Sad’ thought Harley: ‘Why doesn’t she realise I’m just a fun loving dog’.
‘Precisely, Harley’, responded Mermaid telepathically!
Mermaid’s telepathic connection with her dog was a given: he would let her know when he needed water, & how much he hated being left alone. When Mermaid was out & about he would tune in & let her know when he was cold. But he did love sleeping, so he didn’t usually mind too much.
Harley bore the marks of angel wings on his chest, so he thought he was pretty special. Mermaid agreed– he was. Besides his Grandpa was a supreme champion living in Japan, so he had good credentials for breeding! Harley was assured of both love & beauty, but he always felt a little bit uncomfortable. For he knew that Mermaid carried a sorrow in her heart regarding Freddie his predecessor. Freddie had left a gaping wound in Mermaid’s heart that came at an emotive time when things could not have got much worse…until now!
Mermaid remembered this & contemplated whether that was indeed the most difficult time of her life. At this point she was not so sure. Freddie was at peace resting at a secret location on the mystical hill above the sea.
Of course it broke her heart when she buried him. But the place he had in her heart & mind was confirmed when she dug down & found a Freddie shaped nesting place between the stubborn rock formations round about them. ‘This is too much of a coincidence’, she thought. ‘Truly heart breaking, but obviously meant to be’.
Mermaid had borrowed the spade of a local wizard who had come to play an important role in her heart & mind: ‘Destiny moments both’, she mused as she remembered. ‘And maybe I could have done without them both too’ she said out loud somewhat fatalistically. Mermaid could be quite the Drama Queen when she wanted!
Freddie Freagle had met with a nasty accident by Druid’s Chair. He survived for a time thanks to a Shepherd, Vicar & Mermaid’s healing ability. The rotund patient vet said she did not think that Freddie would ever be able to move again. But the mermaid and her dog had other ideas. They were not going to give up without a fight.
And this healthy dose of optimism amidst adverse circumstances worked for a time. On the third day Freddie started moving his front legs & embarked on the long road to some kind of recovery. But this was a cruel situation, an emotional roller coaster. It took Mermaid quite a while to get her head around it. ‘Things like this aren’t meant to happen’ she said, as she reeled amidst the pain of unnatural suffering. Mermaid had a lot to learn about the human condition, and so it began…
She was here to learn & learn she surely did. She knew she must have signed up for this. So she went about her fate with as much grace as she could muster.
Mermaid needed more time with Freddie before his passing & the next couple of months proved to be an enlightening stretch that revealed many secrets. She managed to do some miraculous healing against the odds. But the ‘Miracle Dog’ knew his time had come- he had stayed long enough. Mermaid had to realise that he was a heavenly messenger who had agreed to guide her onto the right path for the next stage of her human existence. Faced with the option of giving her dog a set of wheels with which to manoeuvre, Mermaid chose to preserve his dignity- she killed him!
Undoing all her good work, she called the rotund vet to put Freddie out of his misery. For the skies had spoken…One day, whilst meditating on what to do for the best, Freddie-shaped clouds appeared in the heavens. One was a fluffy clear picture of her sick dog lying down asleep; the next saw him running freely. ‘Well, I’m, still no clearer’ thought Mermaid as she waited patiently. Eventually, after what seemed an eternity, the clear blue sky sent her a heavenly vision. There in clear cloud formation was the distinctive shape of her beloved dog leaping jubilantly towards the heavens.
‘Oh, great’, thought Mermaid…but at least she had her answer…
Clearly, the wise old soul that was Freddie did not deserve any more indignity imposed upon him. So Freddie departed this earth taking a big part of the Mermaid’s soul with him.
Harley knew it was his job to cheer The Mermaid up, but at times he found it an uphill task: ‘she can get awfully maudlin’, he observed. But he certainly did his best & Mermaid found his company reassuring & comforting. Besides, Mermaid didn’t really care what people thought. Her dog was not a substitute for some finer feeling– he was the finer feeling! Mermaid knew only too well that the ‘something else’ that occupied her heart was another matter- nothing to do with her four-legged friends. Mermaid knew the difference between human passion & dog licks- she wasn’t stupid. But to be honest, she sometimes found the later more straightforward…at least dog love was uncomplicated & unconditional…Mermaid was quite good at lying to herself too!
Of course the something else, was a completely different matter that now needed some urgent attention.
‘My she does take herself awfully seriously at times’ thought Harley in his simple doggy fashion. When he was on the beach he was much more concerned with what lay around the next band, than what lay in his mistresses heart.
Mermaid understood her mad, funny dog & knew her had better things to be thinking about, like where the next meal was coming from & was it going to be fresh meat or those awful tins of chum from the newsagent.
So leaving her fins behind her on the beach, Mermaid morphed into an archetypal goddess with flowing golden hair, smiling to herself as she flowed towards a fresh new chapter in her life. Her date with destiny had a price that was difficult to bear, seeing as it involved an apparent betrayal of her heart’s desire.
Until recently Mermaid had been full of magic and optimism. She could make things happen and attract everything she needed. But increasingly her burden had become heavy. She had a definite cross to bear and a karmic situation to work out. From the outside looking in, she was doing just fine. The world at large would have perceived someone making waves, as opposed to drowning in them!
One day, Mermaid conceded…she had covered every possible angle. She had given the Great Wizard every chance to come clean and sort things out. Despite her aching heart, she would have to get on with what she was meant to do!
Needs must! The times had changed and practical realities were pressing in on Mermaid and threatening to take her out. Besides, there was a story to be told and a stream of events to live out.
Mermaid had stared the exit door squarely in the face. She was a fighter and she wanted to survive. She refused to be a victim and had looked at the many possible ways through her current circumstances. Some looked promising for a while. But ultimately everything turned into a temporary measure, and only worked for so long.
Mermaid kept listening to her guidance. And the recurrent message was that she had to put pen to paper and tell her story. Mermaid had lost count of the many excuses she had thrown into the ether. She had even explained the situation to the great wizard and asked for some assistance. But to no avail...he was a master at burying his head in the sand, clearly!
Mermaid had been sorely bruised by his lack of care at the end. But she realised he had interests to protect and tried to forgive him. Besides, she knew that from his point of view denial was a great cover up for everything that hadn’t gone on!
So never mind the great Wizard’s agenda…he was a big boy after all!
Mermaid now had her own obligations to fulfil. And was selling her soul one of them? It appeared so…
In order to return to her beloved home beneath the waves, Mermaid had to settle up and clear the decks. She did not wish to leave under a cloud. And she could not justify any other obvious routes of exposure. Her connection with the Great Wizard had been sacred to her. A great love in fact. And it pained her now to tell the world about it. However, she had no option, no choice, and no other way to go…The Universe had served up a Fait Accompli. And Mermaid could not go quietly…
Mermaid reasoned that an honest account would surely do no harm. But deep in her bones she knew it could be different. At the same time though, she knew that it was too late to retrieve the heartfelt track she had been on. So what did she have to lose? She had already lost him…
All along the way Mermaid had been too trusting. She had been distracted, deceived and misguided from within and without. But not so much by him! There had in a fact been others along the way who were fascinated by the connection and who jumped on her links like limpets!
Although Mermaid had done her utmost to be discreet over the years, she was of course only human. She had needed support, and had asked for the help and opinion of too many so called friends. In retrospect she felt hard done by. For she now felt the weight of interference from many angles: If only she had followed her intuition, she was convinced that she would now be with the Great Wizard, happy and content.
This story would have played out before your eyes in reality and not in a book. But as with all good fairy tales, the make believe aspect carries the story to its bitter end. Whether it is happy or not depends on the way you read it…
Perhaps Mermaid’s love for the Wizard was simply not meant to be this time around. It certainly didn’t look good from the outset. And several years down the road it looked even more complex.
It never ceased to amaze Mermaid, the interest this Wizard inspired in people. She appreciated of course that he was compelling and greatly loved by just about everybody. But Mermaid started to feel, or was made to feel that she had no right to have these feelings. And so ensued a lengthy struggle of pain and denial. At times Mermaid even pushed the Great Wizard away and played things so cool she could have re-frosted the Arctic Circle in a minute.
Her denial now pained her, and she was haunted by regret.
In many ways Mermaid had been taken in and led on. The situation had been magnetic and had had a life of its own. Indeed it had consumed her for the best part of ten year’s…Ever since she first met the Great Wizard in fact. It was difficult now realising that her energies had possibly been expended on a complete fantasy. It was going to be so easily dismissed by all and sundry, that she didn’t want to take the risk of telling all. Besides the kiss and tell was not her style. She would just have to find a cleverer way to say what needed to be said.
There was no denying that Mermaid’s emotions had got the better of her. As things now stood though, she had no choice but to stare the current state of affairs in the face and speak her truth.
Despite the karmic interference, henchmen and diversions that surrounded her Soul Mate, she had to soldier on regardless. The Grand Wizard over the hill seemed to have the Midas Touch and his own protection anyhow. So she was not too uncomfortable about how he might react. Actually she had a weird feeling that he would not mind at all. That in fact he wanted an ‘out’ or escape route from his current state of affairs. He certainly seemed to be sailing close to the wind at times.
Lately the Great Wizard had been linked with someone younger and apparently more alluring. Mermaid named her Twiglet. She was stick thin, but clearly darkly gorgeous and childlike. Pictured with the Great Wizard she always looked so complacent and comfortable, that Mermaid felt sickened to the core. Mermaid was told there was nothing significant between them. But she didn’t believe it. She could sense his distraction and he was quite quick to lose interest. This betrayal of her deepest feelings was difficult to stomach. In fact one night Mermaid was physically sick walking behind the Great Wizard arm in arm with Twiglet. She literally could not handle it…It used to be her he paid attention to!
The whole thing was becoming increasingly bizarre. For Twiglet’s resemblance to the Great Wizard’s wife was uncanny. Was she a replacement for something he was not finding on the home front? To give the wife her dues, she never wavered and was even photographed in sisterly pose with said Twiglet. The rumours were discounted and the Great Wizard and his wife did a great job at dispelling any gossip. All was well on the home front…or so we were led to believe…
Indeed the dominant woman married to the Great Wizard managed for a time to turn things around in her favour. This woman was very adept at guarding her own interests. ‘Of course’ thought Mermaid, ‘it’s her prerogative’. But when one day Mermaid got a letter designed to wrap her on the knuckles, she felt dumbfounded. ‘Charming’ thought Mermaid, ‘and totally unnecessary!’
But at least she now knew that the Great Wizard really did love her...which made her feel good…!
So Twiglet was sidelined and had to move on. Supposedly she fell in love elsewhere. But Mermaid never bought it. She knew only too well the powerful feelings the Great Wizard could stir in a woman. He was clever, but he had not been smart. All the same Mermaid was happy to see him apparently happy. And she thought ‘this is how it should be’.
But words could not describe her anger when she still continued to pick up the vibes and rumours of Great Wizard’s dalliances with Twiglet. Mermaid knew these things were kosher. She was so connected to him that she could sense where he was at: she could read him like a book. Still she tried to reason that the Great Wizard had his reasons and that he knew what he was doing. She gave him the benefit of the doubt. Yet his lack of concern for her having been so caring in the past was eating her up inside.
At least now, Mermaid knew he had a pattern. And that she had possibly played into his hands as no more than a background distraction. This pained her greatly…Since her best years as a mortal had seen her consumed by a love, loyalty and devotion to a Wizard admittedly powerful and well renowned. But so what she thought? Mermaid had always known that she would have loved him whatever his status. He had made her feel special wanted and loved in a land that had taken some adjusting to…
So Mermaid ruminated, wondered and pondered for what must have seemed like an eternity to those waiting for her script!
What to do?
Well…there must have been some reason this whole thing happened in the first place. So, not wanting to spill the beans out of maliciousness, mermaid proceeded to put pen to paper in the hope that some good would come of it…for all…at the other end of the tunnel!
all resemblance to those we know and love is purely coincidental
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It was nine years ago to the day that The Mermaid had walked out of the sea onto the sparkling sands of the bay. Welcomed by the fey spirits of the land. She was full of anticipation & expectant: her new life beckoned.
Leaving her fins & tail behind her on the beach, she was in search of a truth she knew was out there somewhere. Though why she had to come onto dry land to find it, was at this moment beyond her…
She left behind a wealth of love & riches beneath the surf. But she had people to meet and things to do. Besides she knew that her Soul Mate was living in this land of warlocks, wizards and witches. This was the right time to hook up with him and come to some agreement. They had fallen out in their previous existence and there was still unfinished business between them.
Dripping with seaweed, scaly from her years in the deep, Mermaid chose a private moment whilst she morphed into the proverbial archetypal goddess with flowing golden hair, cleavage, and legs! Legs were a strange phenomenon for this Mermaid. To date she had had no use for them & certainly didn’t know how to use them. She could not get used to the different view when she looked downwards & chuckled with glee at the prospect of where these legs might lead her…
Smiling to herself as she flowed towards a fresh new chapter in her life, she felt Ok with her new image & identity. She had a date with destiny and she knew it. Ready for the worst the Dublin scene would throw at her, Mermaid embarked on her journey with enthusiasm. She had a date with destiny, and a sacred contract to fulfil that much she knew. But she had mixed feelings as to how to go about it. Mermaid dried herself off, the sea had been cold & unforgiving & her journey to the Fair Isle had not been easy. Choppy waters & gales in the heavens made her fear what was to come. But there was also a sense of excitement & the ever-present possibility of a bit of magic!
The Mermaid loved magic. She did not need to practise it, for it came naturally to her. ‘Focus counts for a lot’ she smiled to herself. ‘This next bit will be interesting’ she mused! Mermaid had prepared herself for this Irish jaunt ever since the age of 17. She always had an inner knowing that her path lead through the Celtic countries & indeed thus far, she had never been proven wrong. ‘There is always a first time’ she pondered. And this made her nervous. ‘What if she had got it wrong?’ The messages that had revolved around her head since a tender age had never been wrong. But she was anxious for the time when the magic faded. She hoped it never would, of course. But in the magical, mystical world, you have to be prepared for all eventualities!
Mermaid’s arrival in Dublin heralded a new & significant chapter in her life; she braced herself. Her saga to date had not been easy, that was for sure. Perhaps she was due a sea change, for it certainly sometimes felt as if she had been dealt the short straw. But this Mermaid was one of life’s survivors & had so far been a feisty match for most of what life had thrown at her.
Still there were times she wanted to walk back into the sea. The soothing deep waters were her homeland, & she often felt like a fish out of water traipsing the roads of gothic cities. She found it difficult to breathe at times, especially when the pollution stuck in her chest. Her sensitive aqueous lungs felt like giving up in the smoke filled clubs & music halls that had shaped a huge chunk of her life. Mermaid enjoyed the buzz of the nightlife, but she often felt like Cinderella who had to run home before midnight. So far, Prince Charming was no where in sight & she had learned to make do! ‘Still, she mused...perhaps he lived in Dublin or thereabouts…’
Mm, who was she kidding…she knew fine well he did!
Why?
‘Why’ was a question Mermaid had asked herself rather a lot lately, as her hopes, dreams & visions tumbled messily around her! Mermaid was in the process of realising that she had fallen foul of some illusion. She realised that someone, or something, out there in the ether had cast a spell. She had been seduced on several fronts & now needed to take emergency action. Drastic measures were necessary to unravel & sort out her situation. Always a past master at weaving her own magic, she had some important work to do…
Besides this horrific realisation, which filled her with dread & fear, Mermaid also remembered that so far so good; she had always landed on her fishy feet. On dry land, things had a habit of coming right for her, however awful they seemed at the time. Mermaid tried to reassure herself in the midst of her blind panic. She was determined that nothing & nobody was going to succeed in alienating her from her chosen destiny. She could certainly modify her plans. But she had to work out a plan B to get shot of the ‘Sliding Doors’ syndrome that had started to haunt her existence.
Mermaid realised that she had a mission to fulfil that sometimes inspired jealousy. Mermaid found this extremely burdensome. For she could not understand why people did not always warm to her or like her. She was possibly more human than she cared to admit.
But Mermaid had learned to live with a path that had become increasingly irksome & troublesome. Often choosing a reclusive existence rather than deal with the many issues she was so sensitised to. At times Mermaid found it very difficult to be in the company of the human psyche. She found it loaded & weighty, to the extent that she needed the sea to restore her light vibration. Sometimes Mermaid couldn’t cope with much at all. Other times though, her productivity & resilience shone like a beacon. Mermaid realised that lately, there had been few positive moments & she was finding it increasingly difficult to recharge her batteries. She needed to take action –quick!
She sat on the beach reflecting whether or not to walk back into her magical homeland beneath the waves: she was tempted! Indeed, she had been tempted, tried & tested rather a lot recently. She was at a loss. For many things had gone pear shaped in her life of late. Could she retrieve the situation? Should she even try? Now that was the question, & there was the rub…
‘How had it all come to this?’ she mused, as her four-legged companion & friend Harley played amongst the dunes. Harley was mad, unlike his po-faced seriously ‘deep’ owner- ‘that Scorpio Moon has a lot to answer for’, thought Harley as he went about his business.
Harley was a wired-to-the-moon Arian creature, darkly handsome with wicked ‘beady eyes’. He answered to various names, ‘Pretty’ being the most obvious: ‘Davor Sucker’ being the most suitably obscure. Well, he did like football!
Permanently affectionate & always licking things Harley was a tonic, lovely to come home to & amusing to look at: ‘A bit like my ideal man, thought Mermaid.’
‘Sad’ thought Harley: ‘Why doesn’t she realise I’m just a fun loving dog’.
‘Precisely, Harley’, responded Mermaid telepathically!
Mermaid’s telepathic connection with her dog was a given: he would let her know when he needed water, & how much he hated being left alone. When Mermaid was out & about he would tune in & let her know when he was cold. But he did love sleeping, so he didn’t usually mind too much.
Harley bore the marks of angel wings on his chest, so he thought he was pretty special. Mermaid agreed– he was. Besides his Grandpa was a supreme champion living in Japan, so he had good credentials for breeding! Harley was assured of both love & beauty, but he always felt a little bit uncomfortable. For he knew that Mermaid carried a sorrow in her heart regarding Freddie his predecessor. Freddie had left a gaping wound in Mermaid’s heart that came at an emotive time when things could not have got much worse…until now!
Mermaid remembered this & contemplated whether that was indeed the most difficult time of her life. At this point she was not so sure. Freddie was at peace resting at a secret location on the mystical hill above the sea.
Of course it broke her heart when she buried him. But the place he had in her heart & mind was confirmed when she dug down & found a Freddie shaped nesting place between the stubborn rock formations round about them. ‘This is too much of a coincidence’, she thought. ‘Truly heart breaking, but obviously meant to be’.
Mermaid had borrowed the spade of a local wizard who had come to play an important role in her heart & mind: ‘Destiny moments both’, she mused as she remembered. ‘And maybe I could have done without them both too’ she said out loud somewhat fatalistically. Mermaid could be quite the Drama Queen when she wanted!
Freddie Freagle had met with a nasty accident by Druid’s Chair. He survived for a time thanks to a Shepherd, Vicar & Mermaid’s healing ability. The rotund patient vet said she did not think that Freddie would ever be able to move again. But the mermaid and her dog had other ideas. They were not going to give up without a fight.
And this healthy dose of optimism amidst adverse circumstances worked for a time. On the third day Freddie started moving his front legs & embarked on the long road to some kind of recovery. But this was a cruel situation, an emotional roller coaster. It took Mermaid quite a while to get her head around it. ‘Things like this aren’t meant to happen’ she said, as she reeled amidst the pain of unnatural suffering. Mermaid had a lot to learn about the human condition, and so it began…
She was here to learn & learn she surely did. She knew she must have signed up for this. So she went about her fate with as much grace as she could muster.
Mermaid needed more time with Freddie before his passing & the next couple of months proved to be an enlightening stretch that revealed many secrets. She managed to do some miraculous healing against the odds. But the ‘Miracle Dog’ knew his time had come- he had stayed long enough. Mermaid had to realise that he was a heavenly messenger who had agreed to guide her onto the right path for the next stage of her human existence. Faced with the option of giving her dog a set of wheels with which to manoeuvre, Mermaid chose to preserve his dignity- she killed him!
Undoing all her good work, she called the rotund vet to put Freddie out of his misery. For the skies had spoken…One day, whilst meditating on what to do for the best, Freddie-shaped clouds appeared in the heavens. One was a fluffy clear picture of her sick dog lying down asleep; the next saw him running freely. ‘Well, I’m, still no clearer’ thought Mermaid as she waited patiently. Eventually, after what seemed an eternity, the clear blue sky sent her a heavenly vision. There in clear cloud formation was the distinctive shape of her beloved dog leaping jubilantly towards the heavens.
‘Oh, great’, thought Mermaid…but at least she had her answer…
Clearly, the wise old soul that was Freddie did not deserve any more indignity imposed upon him. So Freddie departed this earth taking a big part of the Mermaid’s soul with him.
Harley knew it was his job to cheer The Mermaid up, but at times he found it an uphill task: ‘she can get awfully maudlin’, he observed. But he certainly did his best & Mermaid found his company reassuring & comforting. Besides, Mermaid didn’t really care what people thought. Her dog was not a substitute for some finer feeling– he was the finer feeling! Mermaid knew only too well that the ‘something else’ that occupied her heart was another matter- nothing to do with her four-legged friends. Mermaid knew the difference between human passion & dog licks- she wasn’t stupid. But to be honest, she sometimes found the later more straightforward…at least dog love was uncomplicated & unconditional…Mermaid was quite good at lying to herself too!
Of course the something else, was a completely different matter that now needed some urgent attention.
‘My she does take herself awfully seriously at times’ thought Harley in his simple doggy fashion. When he was on the beach he was much more concerned with what lay around the next band, than what lay in his mistresses heart.
Mermaid understood her mad, funny dog & knew her had better things to be thinking about, like where the next meal was coming from & was it going to be fresh meat or those awful tins of chum from the newsagent.
So leaving her fins behind her on the beach, Mermaid morphed into an archetypal goddess with flowing golden hair, smiling to herself as she flowed towards a fresh new chapter in her life. Her date with destiny had a price that was difficult to bear, seeing as it involved an apparent betrayal of her heart’s desire.
Until recently Mermaid had been full of magic and optimism. She could make things happen and attract everything she needed. But increasingly her burden had become heavy. She had a definite cross to bear and a karmic situation to work out. From the outside looking in, she was doing just fine. The world at large would have perceived someone making waves, as opposed to drowning in them!
One day, Mermaid conceded…she had covered every possible angle. She had given the Great Wizard every chance to come clean and sort things out. Despite her aching heart, she would have to get on with what she was meant to do!
Needs must! The times had changed and practical realities were pressing in on Mermaid and threatening to take her out. Besides, there was a story to be told and a stream of events to live out.
Mermaid had stared the exit door squarely in the face. She was a fighter and she wanted to survive. She refused to be a victim and had looked at the many possible ways through her current circumstances. Some looked promising for a while. But ultimately everything turned into a temporary measure, and only worked for so long.
Mermaid kept listening to her guidance. And the recurrent message was that she had to put pen to paper and tell her story. Mermaid had lost count of the many excuses she had thrown into the ether. She had even explained the situation to the great wizard and asked for some assistance. But to no avail...he was a master at burying his head in the sand, clearly!
Mermaid had been sorely bruised by his lack of care at the end. But she realised he had interests to protect and tried to forgive him. Besides, she knew that from his point of view denial was a great cover up for everything that hadn’t gone on!
So never mind the great Wizard’s agenda…he was a big boy after all!
Mermaid now had her own obligations to fulfil. And was selling her soul one of them? It appeared so…
In order to return to her beloved home beneath the waves, Mermaid had to settle up and clear the decks. She did not wish to leave under a cloud. And she could not justify any other obvious routes of exposure. Her connection with the Great Wizard had been sacred to her. A great love in fact. And it pained her now to tell the world about it. However, she had no option, no choice, and no other way to go…The Universe had served up a Fait Accompli. And Mermaid could not go quietly…
Mermaid reasoned that an honest account would surely do no harm. But deep in her bones she knew it could be different. At the same time though, she knew that it was too late to retrieve the heartfelt track she had been on. So what did she have to lose? She had already lost him…
All along the way Mermaid had been too trusting. She had been distracted, deceived and misguided from within and without. But not so much by him! There had in a fact been others along the way who were fascinated by the connection and who jumped on her links like limpets!
Although Mermaid had done her utmost to be discreet over the years, she was of course only human. She had needed support, and had asked for the help and opinion of too many so called friends. In retrospect she felt hard done by. For she now felt the weight of interference from many angles: If only she had followed her intuition, she was convinced that she would now be with the Great Wizard, happy and content.
This story would have played out before your eyes in reality and not in a book. But as with all good fairy tales, the make believe aspect carries the story to its bitter end. Whether it is happy or not depends on the way you read it…
Perhaps Mermaid’s love for the Wizard was simply not meant to be this time around. It certainly didn’t look good from the outset. And several years down the road it looked even more complex.
It never ceased to amaze Mermaid, the interest this Wizard inspired in people. She appreciated of course that he was compelling and greatly loved by just about everybody. But Mermaid started to feel, or was made to feel that she had no right to have these feelings. And so ensued a lengthy struggle of pain and denial. At times Mermaid even pushed the Great Wizard away and played things so cool she could have re-frosted the Arctic Circle in a minute.
Her denial now pained her, and she was haunted by regret.
In many ways Mermaid had been taken in and led on. The situation had been magnetic and had had a life of its own. Indeed it had consumed her for the best part of ten year’s…Ever since she first met the Great Wizard in fact. It was difficult now realising that her energies had possibly been expended on a complete fantasy. It was going to be so easily dismissed by all and sundry, that she didn’t want to take the risk of telling all. Besides the kiss and tell was not her style. She would just have to find a cleverer way to say what needed to be said.
There was no denying that Mermaid’s emotions had got the better of her. As things now stood though, she had no choice but to stare the current state of affairs in the face and speak her truth.
Despite the karmic interference, henchmen and diversions that surrounded her Soul Mate, she had to soldier on regardless. The Grand Wizard over the hill seemed to have the Midas Touch and his own protection anyhow. So she was not too uncomfortable about how he might react. Actually she had a weird feeling that he would not mind at all. That in fact he wanted an ‘out’ or escape route from his current state of affairs. He certainly seemed to be sailing close to the wind at times.
Lately the Great Wizard had been linked with someone younger and apparently more alluring. Mermaid named her Twiglet. She was stick thin, but clearly darkly gorgeous and childlike. Pictured with the Great Wizard she always looked so complacent and comfortable, that Mermaid felt sickened to the core. Mermaid was told there was nothing significant between them. But she didn’t believe it. She could sense his distraction and he was quite quick to lose interest. This betrayal of her deepest feelings was difficult to stomach. In fact one night Mermaid was physically sick walking behind the Great Wizard arm in arm with Twiglet. She literally could not handle it…It used to be her he paid attention to!
The whole thing was becoming increasingly bizarre. For Twiglet’s resemblance to the Great Wizard’s wife was uncanny. Was she a replacement for something he was not finding on the home front? To give the wife her dues, she never wavered and was even photographed in sisterly pose with said Twiglet. The rumours were discounted and the Great Wizard and his wife did a great job at dispelling any gossip. All was well on the home front…or so we were led to believe…
Indeed the dominant woman married to the Great Wizard managed for a time to turn things around in her favour. This woman was very adept at guarding her own interests. ‘Of course’ thought Mermaid, ‘it’s her prerogative’. But when one day Mermaid got a letter designed to wrap her on the knuckles, she felt dumbfounded. ‘Charming’ thought Mermaid, ‘and totally unnecessary!’
But at least she now knew that the Great Wizard really did love her...which made her feel good…!
So Twiglet was sidelined and had to move on. Supposedly she fell in love elsewhere. But Mermaid never bought it. She knew only too well the powerful feelings the Great Wizard could stir in a woman. He was clever, but he had not been smart. All the same Mermaid was happy to see him apparently happy. And she thought ‘this is how it should be’.
But words could not describe her anger when she still continued to pick up the vibes and rumours of Great Wizard’s dalliances with Twiglet. Mermaid knew these things were kosher. She was so connected to him that she could sense where he was at: she could read him like a book. Still she tried to reason that the Great Wizard had his reasons and that he knew what he was doing. She gave him the benefit of the doubt. Yet his lack of concern for her having been so caring in the past was eating her up inside.
At least now, Mermaid knew he had a pattern. And that she had possibly played into his hands as no more than a background distraction. This pained her greatly…Since her best years as a mortal had seen her consumed by a love, loyalty and devotion to a Wizard admittedly powerful and well renowned. But so what she thought? Mermaid had always known that she would have loved him whatever his status. He had made her feel special wanted and loved in a land that had taken some adjusting to…
So Mermaid ruminated, wondered and pondered for what must have seemed like an eternity to those waiting for her script!
What to do?
Well…there must have been some reason this whole thing happened in the first place. So, not wanting to spill the beans out of maliciousness, mermaid proceeded to put pen to paper in the hope that some good would come of it…for all…at the other end of the tunnel!
