Goodbye, whoever you might have been.

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U2democrat

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On Friday I got an excited call from my sister that she was pregnant again. We talked about the usual things when someone finds out they're pregnant, how she would tell my niece, her first doctors appointment, whether it would be a boy or a girl. My family was very excited.



I just got a call from my mom saying that yesterday my sister was spotting and cramping all day, meaning she probably has lost the baby.

It's just as well that it was this early, rather than a month from now...and it's the body's way of saying it just wasn't meant to be.

But it's still very crushing. :sigh: If y'all could pray for my sister that would be wonderful.

:pray:
 
My heart and thoughts are with you and your sister.
Losing a baby/being at any stage is devastating.
I do know that there is a type of medicine that a Dr. can give her to help
stop the possible miscarriage if its not too late.
It was too late for me, i lost a daughter at 3 1/2 months.
It was very painful, but then i wouldnt have my sweet Sebastian.

:hug:
 
I'm so sorry, Laura... I know from personal experience just how much it sucks to have an early pregnancy end. Your sister's in my prayers. :hug:
 
Somehow, I knew exactly what this was about from the title. That is devastating. She is in my thoughts. :hug:
 
Thank you all for your thoughts/prayers :hug:

At some point I need to call my sister, but I have NO idea what to say. I'm never good with words in sensitive situations, I have a knack for sticking my foot in my mouth. What should I say to her?
 
Just tell her you're sorry. :sad:
And not that you would be so crass, but she doesn't need little pearls of wisdom like:
- "At least you weren't (fill in the number) months along - that would have been even worse."
- "It's just nature's/God's way of protecting your from an unhealthy pregnancy/baby."
- "Well at least you know you can get pregnant - now you can just try again in a month or so."
- "You'll forget all about this when you have two or three little ones in a few years."
- "It happens to a lot of women."

All things that were actually said to me in an attempt (?) to 'comfort' me. :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

My point is, let her know you care about her and how she feels & then let her kind of steer the conversation. She may be really distraught or she may be very matter of fact about it. Either way, she'll have to work through it in her own way. Or, what I should say is that she & her husband... boyfriend...partner??? - whoever - need to work through this in their own way. I always felt so bad that most people assumed I was the only one devasted over our miscarriage. Kelly suffered a loss with me.

I didn't mean to get up on my soapbox here. :reject: I just tend to get a bit passionate about the subject at hand.
 
:hug: Laura. I feel badly, I can relate. It's a sadness only those who have experienced it can understand. Just be there for your sister as sisters can be. Listen, lend a shoulder and tell her how much you love her. I also agree things happen for reasons, and it wasn't meant to be. Time and patience.....heals all. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
 
Sorry to hear about that Dem. My sister had a miscarriage last November, I felt the same as yourself. I didn't know what to say either. :hug:
 
Dem, I'm sorry to hear about this. It's so sad and tough to go through. My wife had one within the last year. It's tough. :(

I agree with what Angela Harlem said -- just listen. That's the best thing. Just call her up, ask how she's doing and listen. Maybe just say a brief prayer for whatever's on your hearts. Your sister and her family, you and everyone else is in my prayers. :hug:
 
I just want to say don't give up hope yet (unless you've heard otherwise) this happened to me early in pregnancy too but everything turned out ok.

Miscarriage is sad and scary at any stage of pregnancy. As BluRmGrl said I believe it's natures way of protecting a baby and mother from something that's just not right.

Call your sister and just listen, I'll be thinking of her:hug:
 
Angela Harlem said:
Don't say much, just listen. Tell her you are there if she wants to talk later if she doesn't want to now.

:hug:
Click to expand...
 
I'm sorry Dem to hear about your sister.:hug:

There really aren't any magic words that you can say to her. It's such a personal and private loss. BluRmGrl is right, she probably has and is going to hear all those little pearls of wisdom from other people. Just let her know that you are there for her. I had a miscarriage when I was only a few weeks pregnant. I thought I was going to scream and pull my hair out everytime somebody told me "it was probably for the best" and "at least you were only a few weeks into it". Sorry that doesn't make you feel any better. Even when you are only a few weeks into your pregnancy, you still have names, colors and themes of the nursery floating around in your head. Just be there if she wants to talk or just wants to cry. In time it will get better for her. It took 2 years for me but I finally had my second child and I couldn't imagine life without her in it.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sister.
 
Angela Harlem said:
Don't say much, just listen. Tell her you are there if she wants to talk later if she doesn't want to now.

:hug:
Click to expand...

Exactly.
Sometimes just holding her and not saying anything at all is what people need....and want.
I went through this myself with my cousin (She is like my baby sister) and I can honestly say that it was one of the hardest things to experience.
:hug:
I am so sorry.
 
mdw3935 said:
I'm sorry Dem to hear about your sister.:hug:

There really aren't any magic words that you can say to her. It's such a personal and private loss. BluRmGrl is right, she probably has and is going to hear all those little pearls of wisdom from other people. Just let her know that you are there for her. I had a miscarriage when I was only a few weeks pregnant. I thought I was going to scream and pull my hair out everytime somebody told me "it was probably for the best" and "at least you were only a few weeks into it". Sorry that doesn't make you feel any better. Even when you are only a few weeks into your pregnancy, you still have names, colors and themes of the nursery floating around in your head. Just be there if she wants to talk or just wants to cry. In time it will get better for her. It took 2 years for me but I finally had my second child and I couldn't imagine life without her in it.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your sister.
Click to expand...

*shakes head

I cannot believe someone said "at least you were only a few weeks into it":tsk: thats terrible...your child is YOUR child and feels the same too you no matter if its 1 week gestation or full term.
 
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