Erm...dissatisfaction (mature content)

[AttnKleinkind]

Okay, SO. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to post something of this subject matter...but if not feel free to delete this.

This is kind of an interesting situation. There's a huge backstory, but I think it will sum it up very briefly: My bisexual friend (a girl) started to have feelings for me late last year (I am also a girl) and though I had questioned my sexuality before, I wasn't too keen on having a relationship. There were a rocky few months where we were unsure where we stood, and I kind of kept changing my mind, but eventually I came around.

So the reason I'm posting has to do with the subject...sexual dissatisfaction. My girlfriend is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and I absolutely adore being with her. Physically, we moved rather quickly because of the slow, on and off start our relationship had before we were officially going out. So just recently we've started having sex (as well as you can without a penis). We haven't had oral sex yet, but that's been kind of on our minds. Whenever we fool around, my girlfriend enjoys herself immensely, but me on the other hand...sometimes I'm not even turned on AT ALL. It's extremely frustrating, and we've talked about it...but I don't exactly know what to do. I always feel foolish whenever we talk about it, and it usually puts a damper on the times when we are together. I'm actually starting to become quite jealous too. It's not that I NEVER enjoy myself...but hardly, and only briefly.

I don't even exactly know what I'm asking...but I'm just wondering about thoughts on this situation. Because I don't know what to do, or even if there's anything I CAN do...

Haha wow, this is an embarassing post....

 

[Numb1075]

if you've had doubts or concerns about being gay or in a gay relationship before, then that's probably the reason why you aren't enjoying yourself to the fullest. You might have these doubts in the back of your head when you are being intimate....

Is this right? Do I enjoy this? WOuld I enjoy a male more? etc etc

in my opinion, it's probably a mental battle you are waging w/ yourself taht is causing the physical part to lack luster.

I'd slow the pace down and sort your mind a bit.

Good luck.

 

[UberBeaver]

I don't think this a real post. Only pictures can prove me wrong. Go ahead, prove me wrong. I dare you.

 

[JMScoopy]

to give advice, i need some more explicit details

 

[Numb1075]

children

 

[u2bonogirl]

Maybe you aren't enjoying it because you aren't sexually attracted to women despite your questioning your sexuality in the past?

I've known quite a few people who have questioned their sexualiy, and only one of them actually went for the same sex in the end.

 

[Carek1230]

You aren't going to enjoy it and satisfy yourself unless you are completely relaxed and comfortable with knowing what your sexuality choice is.

 

[redkat]

my first reaction is that you may not be lesbian or bi-sexual.

Sounds almost like you got pulled into this. If you grew up attracted to men I'd say that's the problem/solution.

 

[Miringeltje]

But what if she hardly and only briefly enjoys herselfs with men as well?

It might be a control issue.
Maybe you're afraid to let yourself go.

Or it could be an hormonal imbalance.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

this might be an embarrassing subject for some....but do you umm know how to do things on your own if you know what i mean? If not, you might wanna learn, then you can give her better direction.
It could also be any of the other things that people listed as well. Not feeling totally comfortable can kill things easily.

 

[melon]

It's easy. If you aren't attracted to her, you just aren't attracted to her. It's not rocket science, and the Kinsey scale of sexuality certainly leaves room for those who have passing same-sex attraction, but who, in practice, just aren't into it when push comes to shove. You might just fit into that category.

Think about how you feel for a bit, but don't think too hard. You already know how you feel, ultimately.

Melon

 

[melon]

to give advice, i need some more explicit details

Ah yes. Now I remember why I don't feel guilty when I rip social conservatives to pieces in FYM.

Melon

 

[AttnKleinkind]

Pictures, eh?

I definitely considered the possibility that I wasn't gay (or gay enough I guess) because I think that makes the most sense...but the thing is that am very much attracted to her, and in the past I have really enjoyed the times that we're together. It's just lately it seems...harder. Maybe I just don't want to admit to myself that I'm not. Which is strange, because it's usually the other way around, but I think it's just because I really do enjoy what we have together. So...yeah, I think I'm just really confused.

I really appreciate everything that everyone said so far, it's provided me with some good food for thought.

 

[JCOSTER]

But what if she hardly and only briefly enjoys herselfs with men as well?

It might be a control issue.
Maybe you're afraid to let yourself go.

Or it could be an hormonal imbalance.

Could be...or maybe she just hasn't found the person she is compatible with.

 

[Liesje]

Could be...or maybe she just hasn't found the person she is compatible with.

I agree.

It sounds like you're just not attracted to her as much as you thought before. Could it be that you were excited and more turned on before because it was a new experience for you? Maybe it's just not working out.