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Old 06-30-2002, 06:02 PM   #1
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another one of those crush threads

Im scared to confess this, but there's this guy at my church that I have a crush on, and I am in love with the warmth I feel radiating from him, the honesty of everything he says, and the music he creates (he plays at the Taize worship service at our church...in fact he has made me fall in love with this style of worship; it's the first kind that has ever felt right for me). I've mentioned him before in another thread; he was a troubled teen that got into some pretty serious drug problems and turned his life around later through his belief in God, and everything about him is so inspiring, you can literally feel his belief and how powerful it is when he's praying for us, and there's nothing put-on or fake about it; he doesn't care if he seems ridiculous or anything. And he is so wonderful to everyone, and humble too, he is so embarrassed when people thank him for being honest. But it doesn't matter really because he is leaving now to go start a youth ministry somewhere else in NJ, but still it's so wrong and retarded on so many different levels that I just have to confess it to somebody......I mean, he's probably a good 6 years older than me (I don't even know his age but this is nothing new for me), I don't talk to him that much because I only see him on Sundays, and when he's singing I jsut can't help making eye contact with him, I try not to but it just happens anyway. And probably half the service Im thinking about him rather than what I should be thinking about.
Well this is certainly embarrassing... but for anyone who ever says they're a loser because of this kind of thing, I am sure that I just one-upped you all.
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Old 06-30-2002, 07:22 PM   #2
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You are eighteen, right? When I was eighteen, I had a crush on a guy six years older than me and he then met another eighteen-year-old who he married less than a year later. It wasn't because they "had" to get married or anything like that, they were actually just really in love and still are four years later, far as I know. Fortunately, by the time they actually got married I was over him but before that it sure hurt. I now that we had absolutely nothing in common, but when I was eighteen-nineteen I was an emotional basket case and kept having crushes on people who were very wrong for me. I'm sorry--this isn't very helpful! All I can really say is I hope things work out somehow, whether that means you get over him, or something else.
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Old 06-30-2002, 07:29 PM   #3
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what an idiot

I shouldnt have posted this but now I cant delete it. some things I should jsut keep to myself.

thanks tho scattero I have a similar problem and yes I am an emotional basketcase too.
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Old 06-30-2002, 07:48 PM   #4
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Don't be ashamed, he sounds like a great guy.

It is natural to have crushes, and from the way you describe him, he must be one special guy.

Try to build a friendship with him (I know he is going away, but you can still be in touch). Even if nothing romantic evolves, at least you will have a great friend who means a great deal to you.
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Old 06-30-2002, 11:25 PM   #5
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bg, dont regret a thing. you simply cant help the way you feel. ever. however, you CAN chose how you react to how you feel.

i say just talk to him and play it from there.
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Old 07-01-2002, 12:47 AM   #6
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Re: what an idiot

Quote:
Originally posted by BabyGrace
I shouldnt have posted this but now I cant delete it. some things I should jsut keep to myself.

thanks tho scattero I have a similar problem and yes I am an emotional basketcase too.
I wasn't really meaning to imply that you're an emotional basket case, that really was not very helpful of me
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Old 07-01-2002, 02:03 AM   #7
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L'amour!
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Old 07-01-2002, 12:50 PM   #8
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Re: another one of those crush threads

Quote:
Originally posted by BabyGrace
still it's so wrong and retarded on so many different levels


Ok, maybe i'm missing something here, but how is being in love wrong and retarted (and especially if he's at least half as amazing as you describe him)? Last i checked having feelings (especially the best of them, like love or friendship) was a good thing, and it's not like you can do anything about having them.


I dunno - try talking to him and see what happens; either way at least you're getting a good friend.
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Old 07-01-2002, 01:37 PM   #9
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love is in the air.

bg, do it already. if not, then you wont. if you do, then you did.

profound advice from the best.
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Old 07-01-2002, 02:37 PM   #10
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no, I wont. thanks bear but I cant, this was a confession because it is so ridiculous. it's wrong u2girl cos I always go for guys that are completely out of reach.
thank you too daisybean, and sorry scattero, you didn't say that I know...I just really am an emotional basketcase, trust me on that one

and foray, you can stop laughing now
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Old 07-01-2002, 02:41 PM   #11
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just as long as you do what you think is best
that will leave only yourself to blame
and why would you stay mad with yourself for long?
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Old 07-01-2002, 09:15 PM   #12
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Baby,

May as well talk to him. Tell him you think he's cool (you know, for believing and for inspiroing you). Ask him for his e-mail, or phone # in case you want to talk sometime. AS someone said earlier, at least you'll make a good friend.
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Old 07-03-2002, 01:16 AM   #13
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it's worth a try.....i'd go for it......put aside your fears and try it, you may just be surprised....
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Old 07-03-2002, 02:18 AM   #14
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Out of reach, you say? Never think that! Let me tell you a true story of my friend who absolutely looooves this special woman. They are kindred spirits and she fits him like a glove (trust me, most people find him difficult to get along with.. even me, but we are good friends nonetheless). He has been pining for her, pining, pining.. until she finally got engaged (not to him) and will be married soon. Until now, she has no clue what he feels for her. He is a self-proclaimed celibate. But he loves this woman, truly, the poor stupid sod. Why didn't he tell her? Cos, he said, she's out of his reach! Damned idiot.

Eh... but I'm not calling you a damned idiot, BabyGrace. I just hope you don't regret not doing anything.

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Old 07-03-2002, 07:53 AM   #15
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Yes Baby Grace go for it. If he is really that opened, he will like you much for being so opened about your feelings. Look, you cant loose. Its a win - win situation.

Ok, you might get a good friend. But who knows, you might also marry him, you never ever know (maybe the next Pope allows at least that). Then, how can you loose? Only if you do nothing, only if you stay like now. Dont be shy.

Another question would be: why do you pick out someone who is "unreachable"? Now, is this accidentially, the first time, or does this happen often? If it happens often, why? Not because you are poor or a victim...; what do you want to avoid? Responsibility? Pain? To be near? To be one?

Anyway, dont be shy. He will like it. Come on. Or do you want to waste your precious time on earth? You will find love, just... walk on.
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Old 07-03-2002, 06:15 PM   #16
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Just talk to him, You might even find out that he likes you too.
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Old 07-04-2002, 05:40 PM   #17
 
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...you don't need a regret like this hanging over you in a few years time...he sounds like an inspiring and generous person and to pass up a chance of a possible friendship or maybe something deeper seems like a shame..the only thing you can do is choose what you want to do at this time and give it careful thought..really look at the issues holding you back and follow whatever you choose..in a few years time you can say you made a decision that was right for the time..its all we can do sometimes~
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Old 07-05-2002, 12:32 AM   #18
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BabyGrace, you are not stupid for feeling like this, i asure you....
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Old 07-05-2002, 08:36 AM   #19
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thanks guys
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Old 07-05-2002, 05:49 PM   #20
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good luck with things! the truth is there are no formulas or secrets, and the things you are experiencing have been happening to people for centuries

hopefully things will work out for the best!
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