Advice/perspective wanted

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Angell

The Fly
Joined
Jan 16, 2001
Messages
227
Location
Florida
This is a sensitive issue, and I am seeking other perspectives, I guess...the question is....if you know your spouse will not be leaving you, would you want to know they were cheating?
 
If they were cheating I'd probably want them to leave-or work it out if possible. It all depends on numerous factors.

My personal opinion is that it's always best to know important things like that, no matter how painful they are. But everyone is different, you have to decide for yourself if you are asking for yourself. You'd probably be better off posting this in the Zoo Confessional forum if you want advice :)
 
Angell........by what you say, sounds a bit like there has already been some form of issues . And on that basis, i dont think anyone would blame someone for wanting to know
I hope everything will be ok
 
I'd want to know. And then I think I'd want them to leave. But if there are kids involved that's hard. But you'd have to do what's best for YOU in the long run. Take care, Angell
 
I think that's a question that only people in that situation with the spouse/partner, whatever can answer only when you're in that situation.

what one person may say here and now may be a complete different decision that they make if they were really faced with it.

Not knowing can do just as much damage as knowing, but yeah for safety health wise--for everyone involved both partners may want get tested or whatever if either has cheated.

Like I said though, either decision can do just as much damage.

:hug:
 
zuropa_fit said:
I'd want to know. And then I think I'd want them to leave. But if there are kids involved that's hard. But you'd have to do what's best for YOU in the long run. Take care, Angell
It's hard when kids are involved, but you have to take a hard look at the relationship and whether or not it can be healthy again. If not, the idea of "staying together for the kids" is the worst - speaking as someone who grew up in that situation :huh: Do yourself and everyone involved in the situation and be healthy no matter what. Sometimes the hardest road is the best. You need to go in with your eyes wide open :yes:
 
As kafrun said, dont stay together for the sake of the kids. Its far better to be seperated and have the kids see both parents that way than live all together with arguements every day. I too have to live with that, but my parents only really stay together for the financial aspect. read: we need him to help pay the bills.

Good luck, and dont put up with any shit.
 
Angell, I don't really visit this part of the forum so often, but your question just kept my attention. I don't know your position in the problem, if you are the one who knows and can't decide if you must tell, I don't know, to a friend or relative about his/her mate, be very careful, they usually know, but can't admit it even to themselves and you'll be forcing that on them, they'll feel hurt and not necessary grateful, at least be prepared for that.
If you talk about your spouse, well, then try to figure up all the possible consequences of talking about it before you do, consider all points of view including that you may be mistaken, if you can work it out, if you want to face a complete new life after that conversation, try to be prepared and do as you feel, I think nobody can give you a good piece of advice on this issue, my own experience tells me that sometimes you act just the opposite you thought, and well, it's Ok, but you have to live with it. Don't be too hard with yourself if that's the case.
Good luck :hug:
 
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