Sherry Darling
New Yorker
So I just got off the phone with a dear friend. Husband has lost his job. Again. He is 40 years old and this has been his pattern since long before I was in their wedding 8 years ago. He's caught in a cycle of defeatism and depression. She makes nothing but excuses and wont' hear tell of "you know, if EVERY job he's ever had, he's lost because he's mouthy, the problem is not with every one else." Meanwhile, this intelligent, sensitive, capable, educated woman who has so much going for her is packing herself, their three cats and her 40 year old husband up to move back in with her mother. Again.
How does this happen? I am so pissed off for her I could scream. I like him because that's partof the Best Friend Contract, you know? He's fun to be with and affectionate. But this is a man who would not ever LOOK for a 2nd job when she put off finishing her MA so she could work at Pet Smart in addition to her full time job. He wants his band. He wants that Great RAdio Job. Meanwhile, she struggles and suffers and works her ass off, and keeps all the anger and fear I know she's feeling inside.
At what point does she say ENOUGH?
The personal is the political, as they say, and I thought this might resonate with some folks, so I thought I'd post it. Plus, as I said, I'm so pissed off for her I want to hand deliver divorce papers and tell him, when he grows up, he can maybe date her again. LOL.
Thoughts? Discussion?
How does this happen? I am so pissed off for her I could scream. I like him because that's partof the Best Friend Contract, you know? He's fun to be with and affectionate. But this is a man who would not ever LOOK for a 2nd job when she put off finishing her MA so she could work at Pet Smart in addition to her full time job. He wants his band. He wants that Great RAdio Job. Meanwhile, she struggles and suffers and works her ass off, and keeps all the anger and fear I know she's feeling inside.
At what point does she say ENOUGH?
The personal is the political, as they say, and I thought this might resonate with some folks, so I thought I'd post it. Plus, as I said, I'm so pissed off for her I want to hand deliver divorce papers and tell him, when he grows up, he can maybe date her again. LOL.
Thoughts? Discussion?