Thanks for your responses, everyone.
ZeroDude said:
Well I’m the sort of guy who for the most part needs a girl to show considerable interest before I can really return the interest with interest so to speak.
There are a lot of us out there who just don’t have the requisite balls.
What sort of interest would a girl have to show, in order for you to "have the requisite balls" to make a move?
bono_man2002 said:
I'm in the sutiation now, where I'm tempted to ask this person out for dinner, or something, why is it (or seems) so easy for some, and for others its one of the most difficult things to do.
Without hi-jacking your thread, How should I bring this up?, how should i go about asking, my timeing is always awful, there never seems the right time to mention it.
anyways, sorry for hijacking your thread a little there VintagePunk
Going back to ZeroDude's comments, what sort of interest has she shown? I think if you're reluctant to ask her out on a full-blown date, a good way to approach it would be to ask her out for coffee/a drink/lunch. Something casual. Or if you're talking with her about an activity you're both interested in (like an upcoming movie, for instance) you could suggest getting together for that. Casual, friendly, and it would give you an indication whether or not she's interested in a full-blown date.
Blue Room said:
Nice signature VintagePunk! I agree!
On the topic. I can be sort of quiet (shy) when I'm interested in a girl. BUT, if I get talking to them and I really do like them and get a good vibe back from them, EVENTUALLY, I will ask. Sometimes it can take awhile (IE, need details, are they dating someone, etc..) but I would ask eventually. I think when push comes to shove alot of guys would ask eventually. Its a question of how long it takes and that depends on each persons personality as others have pointed out.
The sig...thanks. Sadly, it's kind of indicative of where I'm coming from, at the moment.
The way you describe your approach - getting on with it eventually, despite maybe being somewhat reserved - that's what I'm talking about, the way I've experienced the whole thing. Most males would not sit back for an indefinite period of time and wring their hands and agonize over things, letting the opportunity pass by (unless there were very good underlying reasons complicating the situation). If they see a way in, they'll take it.
U2Girl1978 said:
When I first met my boyfriend, I was a bit standoffish and shy. He thought I hated him. He was interested in me but I was scared about getting back into a relationship. So he really didn't say anything to me about how he liked me. Once we started talking and getting to know each other, I became much more interested and knew that he wouldn't hurt me like the other guys I dated. We opened up to each other. He ended up asking me out a few months later.
So it sounds like he was ready, but just waiting for you to show you were interested? Nice story, thanks.
Carek1230 said:
It's the 21st Century....do guys still have to be the ones to ask girls out? For the most part I'd think a guy would, once he felt comfortable and interested in a girl, and seeing she is indeed open and showing interest, that he would ask her out. But I don't think there is anything wrogn with a female saying something to a guy like "let's go to a movie" or "would you like to get a cup of coffee and talk" or something like that.
LivLuvAndBootlegMusic said:
I don't think it should be assumed or expected that the guy has to make the first move. It doesn't hurt, but I don't think it's fair for a woman to hold it against a guy if he doesn't ask her out based on signals she thinks he should be picking up on.
I completely agree with both of you. There's no reason for a girl not to ask a guy out. I was just curious about the dynamic that occurs the other way, what men need to see before asking a woman out, what makes them hesitant (if anything), and if women have experienced men taking forever and waffling before finally getting on with it, or if they find that men are pretty straightforward and 'fearless,' for the most part.