(main stuff)
ANyways... I wasn't picked on until I came back to Shen, and started highschool, essentiall. Honestly, I was completely... an outcast. I was shy, and I didn't know anyone. And I had acne very badly. Or that is what it seemed, but really it wasn't that bad
The worst thing was I thought whenever a girl looked at me, like, at all, I thought they were looking at "my face", instead of looking at me because I looked good, or was plesant to look at. Which, of course, all encouraged my reclusiveness and reservedness.
There was only one time that I was majorily picked on, and felt really bad. It was in art, and it was a few weeks before 9/11, I remember, in my freshman year... Basically, some kid, a punk, knocked off my hat and stomped on it. I was wearing a hat because it was an insecurity thing, and it was easy to do, because now we were in highschool you could wear a hat. But that was one of the more humiliating moments, because I could have stopped it. I don't really think about it anymore, but I say that was the worst. It was right in the middle of class, with a lot of "girls" that I 'liked' and it was embarrassing.
But I was always in transition.
ANd that made it odd, because by time me senior year came around, I had a lot of good friends, but I was totally independant from anyone. Which was actually very attractive to a lot of people, I find out now. In that school, everyone was always in their own little bubble, clique. I refused to have one, and I didn't, so I walked between them all and had friends who were rich, like Diane, "president" of the Latin Club, NHS member, very well off, and friends like Sarah, who is a bit of a... loose person, very liberal, yet insists she is a hardcore republican
She has some issues with truth, reality, and accountability. But she is an amazing person just the same. Friends like Frank, who has his own band, and other friends who are good people yet are questioning themseves and what sort of person they are, like "Jose" and his sexual orientation.
The thing that most got to me in highschool is that people were so quick to exclude. It has to do with there are a lot of "classes", super wealtyh $100,000 + year earners, and then people like me, who live in trailer parks. FOrtunately, I have had a good enough family and they have shown me a good shot at being a success at life. I know a lot of kids who don't have that. Some, for instance, have to listen to their parents fight all the time, even though her parents are religiously strict, catholic, etc. They yell and make life horrible for her, and she's fallen into drinking and getting high.
So... I say... if anything... I was just amazed as to how easy people shut out others. There was always a lot of tension, and more than one classroom was divided up. I suppose all of them are that way, though - divided. But people were always amazed, and asked me why I talk to people, and why I listen to people.
I was just amazed as to why people didn't want to listen.
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So really, there wasn't a lot of bullying. There was just psych harassment and shunning in my school. I feel bad for the teachers, because sometimes they got hammered, and ... and one time, even the bus driver. People ... like.. refused to look at things from the other side, and thought that they were the victem, that the world owes them stuff. One day these kids were harrassing my bus driver because she was late due to the earlier bus riders giver her so much trouble. BUt they kept hasseling her... and it was amazing. SHe is someone who is trying to do you a favor by getting you home on time, yet you disrespect her competely... needless to say, I interviened, and stopped the kids. I just don't like things like that.
In my school... the lasting thing will be that... everything seemed set in stone, and you were predestined a fate. Few things change as far as who you hung out with from 8-12 grade. Yet there were over 650 people in my graduating class. It was amazing how so many people could be so guareded. I guess the anonyminity simlar to a big city helped....