pax
ONE love, blood, life
Dear Interlanders:
No matter what I have had to deal with, Zoo Confessionals always seems to bring survivors out of the woodwork, compassionate and clear-minded people who give advice both from their heads and their hearts. So here is a fairly heavy problem that I hope someone can help with.
As some of you know, I've been seeing a fabulous man for almost three months. I've had a LOT of guy troubles for almost two years, so meeting someone kind, brilliant, decent, and sensitive has been such a blessing. He's 25 (a few years older than me) and a writer (just like me!). We spend a lot of time together (but still maintain our separate activities, too!) and generally get along very well.
There is, however, one big problem: he has manic depression. Manic depression is a mental illness by which a person is prone to drastic mood swings that go from mania (sort of like really extended hyperactivity, hubris, recklessness; they'll do things like spend lots of money all at once, run up their credit cards, not sleep for days) to deep depression (sleep all the time, lose/gain a lot of weight, threaten or attempt suicide). He's a good patient; he sees both a therapist and a psychiatrist regularly and has no problems with medication compliance.
A couple of weeks ago, though, he had his first real episode (depressive) since I've been with him. He's better now; he had an emergency session with his therapist and his psychiatrist added an antidepressant (Wellbutrin) to his medication routine. But it did scare me. He got paranoid, sad, sort of scared of everything all the time, wouldn't make even small decisions (like, "what should we have for dinner?" kinds of decisions). And it wasn't even THAT bad; he didn't try to hurt himself or have to go into the hospital (he attempted suicide once before).
My problem, I guess, is this: I really love this man. He treats me beautifully and supports me unconditionally. He values the same things I do and we have a lot of goals and dreams in common. But I am worried about dealing with this for the rest of my life. He wants to get married and I think I do too (not right away, I mean, once we both finish school--which is at least a year and a half from now, because he still has another year to go). Is anyone else dealing with this sort of situation? Any ideas on how to handle it?
No matter what I have had to deal with, Zoo Confessionals always seems to bring survivors out of the woodwork, compassionate and clear-minded people who give advice both from their heads and their hearts. So here is a fairly heavy problem that I hope someone can help with.
As some of you know, I've been seeing a fabulous man for almost three months. I've had a LOT of guy troubles for almost two years, so meeting someone kind, brilliant, decent, and sensitive has been such a blessing. He's 25 (a few years older than me) and a writer (just like me!). We spend a lot of time together (but still maintain our separate activities, too!) and generally get along very well.
There is, however, one big problem: he has manic depression. Manic depression is a mental illness by which a person is prone to drastic mood swings that go from mania (sort of like really extended hyperactivity, hubris, recklessness; they'll do things like spend lots of money all at once, run up their credit cards, not sleep for days) to deep depression (sleep all the time, lose/gain a lot of weight, threaten or attempt suicide). He's a good patient; he sees both a therapist and a psychiatrist regularly and has no problems with medication compliance.
A couple of weeks ago, though, he had his first real episode (depressive) since I've been with him. He's better now; he had an emergency session with his therapist and his psychiatrist added an antidepressant (Wellbutrin) to his medication routine. But it did scare me. He got paranoid, sad, sort of scared of everything all the time, wouldn't make even small decisions (like, "what should we have for dinner?" kinds of decisions). And it wasn't even THAT bad; he didn't try to hurt himself or have to go into the hospital (he attempted suicide once before).
My problem, I guess, is this: I really love this man. He treats me beautifully and supports me unconditionally. He values the same things I do and we have a lot of goals and dreams in common. But I am worried about dealing with this for the rest of my life. He wants to get married and I think I do too (not right away, I mean, once we both finish school--which is at least a year and a half from now, because he still has another year to go). Is anyone else dealing with this sort of situation? Any ideas on how to handle it?