Ok, drumroll please
This was written about 3 years ago but it's still pretty much what I'd like.
Whoever I deem worthy of being my next mate must meet the following requirements (in an oh-so-perfect world):
He will be...
Equal parts funny (as in bursting into fits of spontaneous laughter-we share the same weird humor funny, not "oh, you're SO funny, teehee" funny) and sweet (but not "over the top, kick my gag reflect into high gear" sweet). There is a delicate balance, peoples.
Handsome in a non-threatening way (think John Cusack, Fabrizio Morretti, Matthew Perry).
Someone who will go to all the little indie movies I want to go see.
Kind to animals, as well as to others around him. That goes for waitresses, clerks, and even the guy at the Gap who always looks at him "funny".
He will...
Stand behind me at many concerts, kissing the back of my neck as girls who used to be me look on, envious.
Let me be alone when I need to be. Take me out of the house when I need to get out.
Expect a lot of himself, but won't become a power hungry asshole in the process.
Have examples of healthy, strong relationships all around him, so that he can prove to me that some do exist.
Other requirements:
He will be able to appreciate good Italian cooking.
Have a good, but not scary, relationship with his mother.
Have a good group of friends who reflect the man he is.
Be able to read. And enjoy doing so.
And, while he's at it, it wouldn't kill him to appreciate at least one of the following tv shows: Seinfeld, The Simpsons, Curb Your Enthusiasm.
Most of all, he'll accept me, warts and all, and not be driven crazy by all of my neurotic behaviors. He'll also be willing to relinguish rights to any jar of peanut butter that enters the house. Of course, it goes without saying, that in return for all of this mind-numbing perfection, I would be the best chick any guy could ever hope for.